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Meet Joshua ...
Ben & Joshua
BEN FALIK CONTRIBUTING WRITER
G
reetings from Corporate
America! Things are going great
so far and I haven’t even gotten
my Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid Minivan
with its 33-mile all-electric driving
range, 566 miles of total range and 84
miles per gallon equivalent (MPGe) in
electric-only mode.
Beyond a fine fleet of varied vehicles
that my son Judah and I were extra-
excited to see at the Detroit auto show,
I’ve already gotten to catch up with
colleagues volunteering at Detroit
Rescue Mission Ministries, Junior
Achievement, the Michigan Science
Center, the Eastside Community
Network, United Way of Southeast
Michigan and the American Red Cross.
I am proud to call myself one of their
fellow Motor Citizens.
And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss
you and your mishegoss. A few half-
baked, would-be column ideas:
• I survived Disney World without
punching or being punched by any of
the characters. It’s been 30 years since
my last visit, but I still spin the tea-
cups too fast and get nauseous.
• As anticipated, I’ve been wearing
more shirts with buttons, though the
only new addition to my wardrobe
was an all-purpose navy blazer from
the Shirt Box. A theory from the busy
corridors of business casual: colorful,
patterned and novelty socks are the
new necktie.
• Referring to the totality of the tumult
of Detroit in the summer of 1967 as
a riot — especially with 50 years of
hindsight — is tantamount to saying
the Garden of Eden is a story about
apple picking. With Detroit Jews for
Justice and the Detroit Historical
Society, I look forward to looking
back through a critical and compas-
sionate lens on events whose truth
and reconciliation now can impact
equity over the next 50 years.
Which brings me to Joshua Lewis
Berg. Joshua is the best. Total pack-
age: generous, incisive, beard. I’ve only
known Joshua for a short while, but I
feel like we go way, way back. That’s
probably because he is a proud product
of our community — recently returned,
family in tow, to Jewish Detroit. If
Joshua self identifies as a wandering
Jew, he’s a warm, welcome example that
not all who wander are lost.
I know some of Joshua’s stories, but if
there’s one thing this work has taught
me, it’s the wisdom to let people tell
their own stories.
So I’m honored to submit my 75th
column on the cusp of the Detroit
Jewish News’ 75th year, to pass my pen
to Joshua and to continue to contribute
however I can to our unfolding story.
Stay in touch. •
the wandering jew
... Nice To Meet You!
T
troupe in Moscow, Russia, went on
here’s an old Jewish saying,
to become an actor in New York and
“Absence makes the heart grow
fonder … and your Jewish mother then get an M.B.A. in media manage-
ment, which I used to make no money
works harder to bring you home.” Well,
producing theater in New York and
she finally succeeded and I’m back.
London.
Now I begin the work of dis-
The last decade and the
pelling the “fake news” built
responsibilities of fatherhood
up from 25 years of nachas
brought me back to the real
shepping by my mother in my
world and, fortuitously, back
absence. I fully expect to be rec-
into the Jewish world as well.
ognized on every street corner.
Most recently, I worked
“Hey, aren’t you the son who
in L.A. for many years as an
speaks three languages, acted
administrator at a very large
on Broadway, traveled the world
Reform temple and then
and read the entire Torah por-
Joshua Lewis
became the programming
tion at his bar mitzvah?”
Berg
director for the Savannah
Granted, most of that is not
(Ga.) Jewish Educational
entirely true, and that last bit
just doesn’t dazzle the way it did when I Alliance. Don’t worry, I’ve only touched
was 13 but, believe you me, even though the surface of my nutty life and still have
many crazy stories to share.
I am 46, she still trots it out any chance
This column is called The Wandering
she gets. And I love her for it, and I love
Jew because, after having wandered
being back in the D!
from my hometown of Detroit and from
Here are the facts. Like many Jewish
my Jewish roots for so long, I recently
boys of my generation, I was raised
returned home to both.
somewhere between Conservative and
All I know of Detroit in the moment
Reform, what I like to call “Conform”
is the horrible reputation it has in L.A.
Judaism. I went to Hebrew school, was
for giving the country Betsy DeVos and
bar mitzvah, eventually married an
Rick Snyder and the great reputation it
African American New Yorker who was
has in Savannah for giving the country
raised Baptist, had two daughters and
Betsy DeVos and Rick Snyder.
became a Humanist. OK, so I strayed
However, after only a few weeks
from the formula somewhat.
back, I have discovered amazing things
In between all that, I studied and
I never knew existed, like John K. King
worked in Japan, followed that up with
books, the Woodward Dream Cruise
a two-year stint in an improvisational
and Jewish Detroit’s commitment to tik-
kun olam. I’m pretty impressed so far.
Of course, it doesn’t hurt that we are
having the mildest winter in years to
ease me back into living somewhere
with an actual change of seasons.
I will use this column to get re-
acquainted with Jewish Detroit and, in
so doing, shine a spotlight on all aspects
of the community. I have deep
mishpachah roots here and was warned
to be careful not to write anything that
would shock or embarrass them. I don’t
plan to follow that advice.
Of course, I want to highlight the
bounty of amazing things that make
me proud to be a Jewish Detroiter, but
I won’t shy away from the tough ques-
tions and the controversial topics. I wel-
come you all to hold on tight and enjoy
the ride along with me.
We only just met, but Ben Falik has
welcomed me like a brother (minus the
nuggie). He is a generous person whom
I am lucky to know. Although I can
match his Jewfro curl for curl any day, it
is with great humility that I accept the
honor of following in the footsteps of
this smart and witty mentsh’s mentsh.
So, let’s get started … Who is up for
a Coney dog with some gribenes and
chicken shmaltz on the side? •
Don’t Make
this Mistake
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deadline. No matter what your situation –
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an extension. Far too often, we see clients
who were short on the necessary cash to
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their return or an extension. This happens
because of anxiety and the misplaced
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me and won’t bill me.” This is a MAJOR
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penalty is 25% - and it accumulates at 5%
per month – so before you say, “Winter” –
you have increased your taxes by 25%. By
contrast, the late payment penalty, is ½ %
per month - continuing for a maximum of
50 months – that’s over 4 years – and totals
to far less than what you pay in interest on
your credit cards! Here’s the takeaway.
Non-payment of IRS taxes is not a major
problem. We can arrange payment terms so
there is simply no reason to increase your
WD[HV IRU IDLOLQJ WR ÀOH ² WKDW LV D ZDVWH
of your money! Also – when you don’t
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and that is called a “SFR” (Substitute for
Return). SFR’s are bad because you don’t
receive all of your deductions and worse
yet, while income taxes are dischargeable
in bankruptcy – they are not dischargeable
LIDQ6)5LVÀOHGIRU\RX%RWWRPOLQH²ÀOH
or extend by April 18th.
THAV GROSS has been solving
problems since 1982. Be sure to tune
in to Law and Reality – Sunday
mornings at 11 AM on TV20.
thavgross.com lawandreality.com
Joshua Lewis Berg, The Wandering Jew, is a myth-
ical figure whose legend consists of wandering
the world in search of the perfect bottle of kosher
pop and other revelatory phenomena.
30150 Telegraph, Suite 444
Bingham Farms, MI 48025
000209210
jn
March 9 • 2017
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