bridal

A Jewish Wedding,
Bollywood-style

Michigan meets Mumbai at this culturally rich celebration.

TAMI TARNOW-JOSEPH SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

ABOVE: Norman and Tami take to
the dance floor in Mumbai for a
Bollywood dance number.

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January 26 • 2017

C

ranberry-brown lines swirled around my hands and feet, my
beloved’s name hidden discreetly in the henna tattooed on
my finger. Exhausted, but not ready to sleep, I hugged my
new husband close and marveled at what brought me to Mumbai
to be married.
It all began at a Shabbat potluck dinner in Los Angeles, where I
met my first Indian Jew, one of only 5,000 from Mumbai and part
of the Bene Israel community of Jews. Two years and countless
adventures later, Norman Joseph proposed and I said, “Yes.”
“Can’t we go to Vegas?” I asked. But a quick wedding in Sin City
wouldn’t do. We were merging our worlds and traditions, and we
wanted our wedding to reflect that. Ultimately, we decided to get
married twice — in his home of Mumbai and in Michigan, my
native state.
We began by traveling to the Indian subcontinent, about a
24-hour journey from Los Angeles, and enjoying a Shabbat dinner
at the home of Norman’s family. His mom lit candles, and his dad’s

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friend led Hebrew prayers over the wine and bread. As a Reform
Jew, I grew up celebrating Shabbat dinner, but here I recognized
only some words, not the tunes.
Norman’s family speaks English, but often slips into Marathi,
their native tongue, forcing him to act as translator, and leaving
me feeling like an outsider. I leaned on him more than usual as he
helped me navigate his world, even though this was his first wed-
ding, too.
The night before the Feb. 14 wedding was the Mehndi (or henna)
ceremony, which, in the Bene Israel community of Mumbai,
incorporates the Hindu tradition of henna tattoos with their own
Malida ceremony, honoring the prophet Elijah and offering thanks
before a happy celebration. To prepare for the ceremony, orange
turmeric lotion was shmeered on my arms, legs and face by family
to help my skin “glow.” Unsure how I’d react to their advances, his
family members barely touched me with lotion; my uninhibited
sisters made me much messier.