spirituality »
Answering An
Unanticipated Question
W
hen I decided to join the
Ira Kaufman Chapel as the
third generation of a proud
business entering its fourth decade, I
committed to a principle a
college business professor
taught in our class. He chal-
lenged our class to find a
career where you know you
could make a difference, pref-
erably a path not yet explored
in the business you were rep-
resenting.
My path was personal. My David M.
grandfather died when I was Techner
9 and, for reasons unknown
to me, I was not told of his
death from leukemia. I came home
from school to find my parents and
family observing shivah.
I was left to wonder what my parents
were hiding though I came to under-
stand they were not hiding anything.
They simply did not know what to say
or how to say it. I realized this was a
huge void — not only with parents, but
also with professionals who simply did
not feel a need to engage kids in a topic
that adults struggled with.
I also realized that unlike the expres-
sion, “Ignore it, and it will go away,” this
would not go away. In good conscience,
as a young professional, I felt a need to
establish a dialogue so I could not only
speak to kids regarding a significant
loss but their parents as well.
As I explored a new and effective
approach, I knew I needed to learn as
much as I could about every task we
must accomplish from death to burial.
What must we do, and why must we do
it? What is required by civil law, and
what is required by Jewish law?
As I studied and understood the
beauty and practicality of what happens
“behind closed doors,” I was excited
to share a beautiful tradition, which
speaks to wisdom, guiding us in life, in
end of life and, yes, even in death.
Then, after more than 40 years of
taking questions from all ages — kids,
parents, grandparents and great-grand-
parents — I was asked a question from
6½-year-old Becca that I could never
have anticipated when I began this
quest four decades ago.
After taking three family generations
on a tour of our chapel, answering the
typical curious questions common with
each generation, Becca was particularly
inquisitive and not shy about asking
questions. I answered all her questions
and assured her I would see her at shi-
vah, and if she had any more questions
after the service, she could ask me then.
I walked into the home and Becca
was ready for me. But was I ready for
Becca?
“Mr. David, do you remember
you said if I had any questions,
I could ask you when you came
to my grandma’s house?”
“Yes, Becca, do you have a
question for me?”
“I do. Can you tell me how
I can FaceTime with G.G. in
Heaven?”
Maybe I should have antici-
pated this question? After
all, when my first and second
grandchildren were living out of
town, FaceTime became a daily routine,
a tool to connect in ways I could have
never anticipated — having grown up
as a child blown away by the concept of
color TV!
But FaceTiming with G.G. in Heaven?
In a career of great questions, this is my
new favorite.
“Becca, what do you need to
FaceTime with G.G. or anybody?”
“A phone?”
“Excellent. And what does G.G. need
to FaceTime?”
“A phone?”
“Exactly!”
I feared Becca panicking, knowing
a cell phone had not been placed into
G.G.’s casket, so I asked another ques-
tion. “Becca, have you ever heard of
Wi-Fi?”
Her reply was a simple, “I have heard
of it, but I am not sure what it is.”
I proceeded to explain that Wi-Fi was
set up in houses, office buildings and
any building that was set up to connect
to the internet. I then asked if she ever
looked up at a clear sky, with stars shin-
ing, the moon glowing, where it appears
you can see stars forever. She replied
she had. I asked if she looked up at this
sky I described and knew what it was
called. She did not have an answer.
“The universe,” I said.
I explained to Becca that we have fig-
ured out how to Wi-Fi houses, schools,
office buildings and movie theaters, but
no one has figured out how to Wi-Fi
the universe. After a short pause, she
looked up and said, “It’s OK, they’ll fig-
ure it out!”
I took a deep breath and said to
myself, “I may be getting too old for
this,” but I am grateful to Becca for
the smile that has not left my face in
the weeks since she asked my favorite
question.
*
Jewish Senior Life's Eight Over Eighty event recognizes
and celebrates eight distinguished older adults who have
demonstrated a dedication throughout their lifetime to the
Jewish value of Tikkun Olam – Repairing the World.
WE INVITE YOUR NOMINATIONS
Nominations are due by January 12, 2017
Nominees must be…
At least 80 years of age
Past or present volunteers in the community
Dedicated to maintaining strong Jewish values
Inspiring leaders or mentors in the community
How to Nominate:
Write or email JSL describing the merits of the nominee. Please
include:
tName, age and telephone number of nominee and name, phone
number and email of nominator
tInvolvement in Jewish organizations and causes
tLeadership positions held
tCurrent and past accomplishments
tLetters and newspaper articles in support of nominee
tHow the nominee’s long-standing activities exemplify a
commitment to Tikkun Olam (Repairing the World)
tAt least one paragraph on why you think this person should be
recognized in this way
Mail or email nominations to:
Eight Over Eighty
Jewish Senior Life
15000 W. Ten Mile Road
Oak Park, MI 48237
Attn: Michelle Buda; mbuda@jslmi.org; (248) 592-1101
Or nominate online at www.jslmi.org
And SAVE THE DATE for Sunday, May 21, 2017
for this signature celebration of the pillars of our community
3URFHHGVEHQHÀWWKH-6/.RVKHU0HDO3URJUDP
2136990
November 24 • 2016
49