metro » continued from page 28 ON FAMILY, BLENDED BACKGROUNDS AND MARRIAGE J: I grew up in Franklin and attended Temple Beth El. My mom, originally from New Jersey, lives in Franklin, works as a corporate meeting planner and is active on the board of Hadassah of Greater Detroit. My dad, who grew up in Philly, is a labor and employment attorney and lives in West Bloomfield with my stepmom, a nurse. I am the oldest of three; my sister is working on her Ph.D. in epidemiology at the University of Washington in Seattle, and my brother is an undergrad study- ing accounting at Purdue University, but I’m hoping to lure them back to Detroit. S: I was born and raised here, grew up next door [to Plymouth] in Livonia. Like Jonathan, I am the oldest of three; both my sisters and parents live here in the area. As far as my religious back- ground, I consider myself secular more than anything. ON MEETING AND GETTING MARRIED J: It was just before I started law school at Wayne State University — Stacy had just finished her first year in college and was working one of her summer jobs at a restaurant. I had been there many times that summer but had never seen her before. It was kind of fate that we met — all because of a hurricane. I was on my way to visit my grand- parents in Florida, but my flight was canceled at the last minute because of Hurricane Frances. So I decided to go out with friends to the place where Stacy happened to be hosting that night. We struck up a conversation and immediately connected. As it turned out, that was also her last day on the job. If it wasn’t for Frances canceling my flight, I’m not sure we’d ever have met. I mustered the courage to ask her out on the spot — and the rest is history. S: We had a secular wedding, with a few Jewish elements. In fact, my father built our chuppah. J: We didn’t seek out clergy to marry us. I had close ties with a judge, so we didn’t even broach the complex subject of finding a rabbi to officiate our wed- ding. There are wonderful couples we’ve met that tell us about the challenges they face in planning an interfaith wed- ding, particularly in finding a local rabbi who will do a joint ceremony with clergy of another faith. Another complexity of planning a Jewish wedding is the often-cited precondition for participation set by many rabbis, even those who market as interfaith-friendly, that couples commit 30 November 10 • 2016 “For me, celebrating a diversity of holidays is nothing new.” — Jonathan Schwartz “NEXTGen events have provided me a better understanding of Jewish culture and traditions.” — Stacy Schwartz to raising Jewish children. Hearing that requirement from clergy can feel off- putting or exclusionary. We, as a com- munity, need to open up the discussion of how to better welcome and embrace interfaith couples and foster their will- ingness to embrace Jewish traditions and culture, to whatever extent they feel comfortable. S: And, that must include not only marriage — but also celebrating other lifecycle events and holidays. Jonathan and I are grateful for a family that sup- ports us. J: My stepmom — my brother’s moth- er — is Catholic. So for me, celebrating a diversity of holidays is nothing new. Stacy’s family didn’t have much expo- sure to the Jewish religion or culture before we started dating, but they take an interest in learning about it now and enjoy being included. It’s amazing. ON GETTING INVOLVED WITH FEDERATION J: My involvement with Federation goes back a few years ago to a networking event where I met Peter Alter, former president of Federation. He asked if I did anything with Federation, and I told him I really didn’t know what Federation does. Peter put me in touch with Miryam Rosenzweig, then head of NEXTGen and, within 48 hours, we were set to meet for coffee. I told Miryam from the outset that my wife is supportive of the Jewish community, but we were not going to get involved in Federation unless we found a niche open to diversity and welcoming to all different kinds of Jews, including interfaith couples. Miryam assured me that we’d find a great fit with Federation’s NEXTGen Detroit, which was beginning to discuss ways to provide outreach to underserved groups in the community, including interfaith couples and LGBTQ Jews. Soon thereafter, Stacy and I attended a couple of events. I went through the leadership development programs, and then I joined the board in 2015. At my first board meeting, I stood up and said we should formally pursue interfaith couple and LGBTQ outreach initiatives. After that meeting, two fellow board members came up to me: Rabbi Dan Horwitz of The Well, who said he want- ed to do interfaith couple program- ming, and Sam Dubin, who told me he had recently come out and was thrilled to learn there was an ally willing to embrace outreach to LGBTQ Jews. So right then and there, we decided: Let’s do this. We got the ball rolling, and NEXTGen staff and board members quickly embraced both initiatives. My involve- ment with these efforts stems from the belief that there are all kinds of ways to be Jewish and part of the Jewish com- munity, and that being supportive of both interfaith and LGBTQ people and families is simply the right thing to do. NEXTGen Pride has held several events and the Interfaith Couples group launched on Oct. 27 with a guest panel of three couples of different ages and stages of life. S: I was happy to see Jonathan have an opportunity to make new connec- tions and re-connections, both personal and professional, while giving back to the Jewish community in a way that is meaningful to him. I’ve also enjoyed participating. Beyond the social aspect, NEXTGen events have provided me a better understanding of Jewish culture and traditions. Though the culture and traditions may not be my own, they are Jonathan’s, which I fully embrace and want to celebrate as an interfaith couple. ON FEDERATION’S FIRST INTERFAITH COUPLES MISSION TO ISRAEL S: Ever since Jonathan and I have been together, he has wanted to take me to Israel. And I always had been a little hesitant given the security picture the media can paint. But when Federation launched the Interfaith Couples Mission and asked us to serve as co-chairs, mak- ing the trip suddenly had more purpose and meaning to me. It was a wonderful opportunity for us. There’s so much about Israel I just “didn’t get” before — now I do. The trip itself was a lot of fun; we made great friends of all ages and learned a lot. The standout moment for me was the guided tour at Yad Vashem. Every piece of that memorial had thought and meaning to it, which I found very powerful. Seeing, firsthand, how Federation invests in youth programs and other areas of need in the Michigan Partnership2Gether Region really put Federation’s work at home into a new perspective. J: I am very grateful we had the opportunity. We have Federation to thank for the trip, which was heavily subsidized by Federation’s Mission Lab initiative with the support of Nora and Guy Barron, who are visionaries in rec- ognizing the value of helping interfaith couples experience Israel together. A standout moment for me was returning to Masada, where I celebrated my bar mitzvah 20 years ago. I also was deeply moved by stories at Yad Vashem of Righteous Gentiles risking their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust. ON DETROIT J: I talk to people thinking about com- ing back to Detroit all the time, espe- cially when they reach out to JBAM and NEXTGen. I tell them to absolutely move back — there’s so much here for you, so many great people doing won- derful things. I will help you; this com- munity will help you. You’re going to love it here! It’s easy to be a cheerleader for the Metro Detroit area; it’s made a great home for us. The city and region are continuing to get better and better with more to offer. We like to think we’re playing our small part in helping. * Vivian Henoch is editor of My Jewish Detroit where a longer version of this article first appeared.