viewpoints » S end letters to: letters@thejewishnews.com $2.00 N OV . 10-N OV . 16, 2016 / 25 T ISHREI -1 C HESHVAN 5777 theJEWISHNEWS DETROIT JEWISH NEWS WS . com theJEWISHNE / 25 10-N OV . 16, 2016 $2.00 N OV . T ISHREI -1 C HESHVAN for openers ISH DETROIT JEW NEWS A Pre-election Post-election Assessment L et’s be honest, and most of us can because we’re not running for office. Partisan politics aside, you have to admit the presidential campaigns have lowered the bar so low they would give even Shemika Charles of Buffalo a run for her money. Shemika is the world’s reigning limbo champion. (Thank you, Google!) In 2010, she earned a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records having limboed under a bar resting on two beer bottles — that’s 8.5 inches. And just last year, she became the Alan Muskovitz first person to limbo under an SUV. If only our politicians could exhibit that kind of flexibility we wouldn’t find ourselves in this mess. Because my monthly column is being published prior to next Tuesday’s elec- tion, I normally would have to wait until December to offer my post-election assess- ment. But with so much at stake, that delay is unacceptable. So I’m left with no other choice but to make stuff up ahead of time. And that’s not as easy as it sounds. I mean how many times did you hear wild and crazy stories about both major party nominees and say to yourself, “You can’t make this stuff up!” See, my job is harder than it looks. Donald Trump WINS BIG! AT HOME Modern Heat 2 4FQUFNCFSt Get inspired this autumn by a new wave of fireplaces. See page 52. 1942 - 2016 Covering and HILLARY CLINTON WINS! Hillary Clinton has been elected the 45th president of the U.S. and, in doing so, becomes our nation’s first female president! Clinton was sworn in with her WINS BIG! 5777 That being said, I offer you a peek into the future and a look at how a victory for either candidate might be written. DONALD TRUMP WINS! Donald Trump has been elected the 45th president of the United States and, in doing so, our nation has, for the second consecutive time, elected a man of color — one black and one orange. Trump was sworn in with his daughter, Ivanka, by his side, filling in for her most recent stepmother, Melania, who filed for divorce on election eve. Upon placing his right hand on the Bible at the swearing-in ceremony — the Bible burst into flames. While some are calling it Divine intervention, Trump pro- claimed, “Believe me, the Bible was rigged to catch on fire and that’s fine because the whole Bible story is a disaster anyway. And nobody knows religion better than me. Believe me. I know God, and he would tell you that had I been in charge, I’d have created the world in five days. Go ahead — ask Him.” The ceremony ended abruptly after President Trump “allegedly” groped Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Connecting Jewish Detroit Every Week E AT HOM Heat Modern this Get inspired new autumn by a es. wave of fireplac See page 52. 2 4FQUFNCFSt daughter, Chelsea, by her side,who filled in for her father, from whom Hillary filed for divorce as soon as she secured enough electoral votes to win. However, in an act of conciliation, she permitted Bill to attend the ceremony with his latest girlfriend … whom he’s never had relations with. In a break with tradition, Chief Justice John Roberts allowed the former senator to read the oath of office off her Blackberry. The historic phone was immediately sent over to the Smithsonian, which later reported the oath had mysteri- ously been deleted. Fortunately, WikiLeaks announced it will email a copy of the oath to the museum just as soon as they can get it from some IT guy in Russia. So, there you have it. This time next week we’ll have one new president and most likely one new contestant on next season’s Dancing with the Stars. In the meantime, only 1,470 days until the 2020 election! God Bless America and … may God help us all! * Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker, emcee and guest host on the Mitch Albom Show on WJR AM 760. Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com and “Like” Al on Facebook. community view The Death By Neglect Of A Community Our Story On November 11, 1895, ten Jewish businessmen met in the back room of a Detroit shoe store to establish the Gmiluth Chasudim Society, which would later become Hebrew Free Loan. Created in the face of glaring anti-Semitism, the founding members pledged varying amounts of money to be put into a central loan fund and used to help keep Jewish businesses and families solvent. It was a place to go when there was nowhere else to turn. The shoe store where the Society met belonged to Selig Koploy, and his store’s back room remained the group’s home until 1907. Selig Koploy was the Society’s second president, serving 1901-1907, and 1908-1913. Fast forward to the 21st Century, when Nancy Grand, as Federation Campaign chair, concluded a meeting with then-HFL Executive Director Mary Keane. As they walked toward the HFL office door, Nancy paused to look at the photos of the agency’s Past Presidents. “The second picture looked totally familiar to me,” Nancy said. “The name under the picture was Selig Koploy, and I had seen the picture in my grandmother’s house. He was her father, and my sister, Susan, was named for him. Our family never spoke of the past, so I knew absolutely nothing about him, or Hebrew Free Loan.” That chance family connection compelled Nancy to learn more about Selig Koploy, about the agency he helped found, and to become involved with HFL herself. “Some of Selig’s quality informs who I am today,” Nancy said, “including dedication to communal service. And a love of shoes.” Become an HFL Donor. Click. Call. Give Now. www.hfldetroit.org 248.723.8184 S orrow and heartache nity, which claims to value older walked with me Erev people. Rosh Hashanah from There are hundreds of us still the parking lot adjacent to the living in this 10 Mile Corridor, now dark and boarded up JPM and we have been abandoned up the path I always walk to heartlessly by not only the JCC, Temple Emanu-El, through my but our Federation as well. We family’s Birnkrant Garden. are the stepchildren of the Metro Janet Birnkrant Detroit Jewish community, much The few spaces left in the parking lot are surrounded by Levine as we were decades ago before trash, huge dark Dumpsters our grassroots citizens fought to and shipping crates. Danger seems to save this vital Jewish presence. We’re not lurk in every shadow. all from West Bloomfield. All the former joyful families mak- The fight to save our JPM was pas- ing their way on foot to services have sionate, and loose promises were made vanished. The countless seniors who to appease and silence our voices. live in Prentis and Teitel apartments Now the reality is cruelly apparent. In seem locked away in fear of venturing the darkened parking lot, any threaten- out after years of walking freely to our ing people might hide. No one is safe temple and other little shuls around us. walking here. Our Temple Emanu-El The desolation left behind is not only path guard had to walk me to my car an eyesore, but a shame on this commu- with his flashlight. . com Hillary Clinton Parking lot of the former JCC in Oak Park For shame! Shame on the JCC for neglect and abandonment of this still-vital, precious neighborhood. We have been wished away. Shame on our Federation for not stepping into the void with help to turn on the lights and offer safe passage once again. What has become of all those little and not-so-little family endowments made over the years to support JPM, the pool and its programs? This story goes back a long way. MDOT, with the urging of our 10 Mile grassroots efforts way back in the 1970s Health. A fresh start. A good education. The next great business idea. Hebrew Free Loan gives interest- free loans to members of our community for a variety of personal and small business needs. HFL loans are funded entirely through community donations which continually recycle to others, generating many times the original value to help maintain the lives of local Jews. 6735 Telegraph Road, Suite 300 • Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301 Hebrew Free Loan Detroit @HFLDetroit continued on page 6 November 3 • 2016 5