N OT T I N G H I L L
of W EST B LOOMFIELD
family focus » dear debra
AQUATICS THERAPY POOL
Notting Hill of West Bloomfield is focused on
short-term in-patient rehabilitation, with the goal of
transitioning back home. We are happy to announce
the opening of our Aquatics Therapy pool. Aquatic
Therapy uses water’s naturally therapeutic properties
of buoyancy, resistance and warmth to enhance the
therapy experience. Since not all people respond
well to traditional gym exercise programs, many
people find aquatic therapy less stressful, preferable to
traditional methods...and FUN!
Mixed Signals
S
Why Choose Aquatic Therapy?
Gently builds strength
and muscle tone
Increases blood circulation
Improves range of motion
Decreases joint stress
“Weightless” Rehab
Reduces pain
Minimizes swelling
Delivers better joint
position awareness
Develops core strength
6535 Drake Road , West Bloomfield , MI 48322
phone 248.592.2000 | www.cienafacilities.com
2098560
DESIGNS IN DECORATOR WOOD & LAMINATES, LTD.
DEAR DEBRA,
I am having communication problems
with a friend. She insists on texting for
all of our communication, and I prefer
phone calls. I find it bothersome to text
long messages and plans for getting
together. I have asked her time and
again to please call or even email, but
she refuses. Recently, when we made
plans, she canceled at the last moment.
Last week, I waited for 30 minutes at
the restaurant we’d agreed to meet at
and then a text arrived telling me she
couldn’t meet me. I can’t think of what I
did wrong to be treated like this.
It Doesn't
Have
To Cost
A fortune…
Only Look
Like It!
Complete kitchen and
— Don’t Text Me
bathroom remodeling
as well as furniture
design and installations
including granite, wood
and other materials.
Lois Haron Allied Member ASID 248.851.6989
Are you a carrier of the
Tay-Sachs disease gene?
Are you a carrier of the Tay-Sachs disease gene?
Tay-Sachs disease is a rare inherited disease of the central nervous system passed from parents
to child. Both parents must be carriers of a mutation in the HEXA gene to pass the disease
on to their children. If you know that you are a carrier of this abnormal HEXA gene, we invite
you to participate in our research project.
Your participation will contribute to the knowledge gained from this research project. Knowledge
gained will be used to help others through the development of new and improved carrier
screening tests for people like you.
We are looking for 50 people known to carry the abnormal Tay-Sachs gene. We ask participants
in the project to donate about 1 tablespoon of blood for test development. Only a single visit
is required.
You qualify to volunteer if you are:
0DOHRU)HPDOHDWOHDVW\HDUVRIDJHRUROGHU
$FDUULHURIWKH7D\6DFKVGLVHDVHJHQH
You will receive $100.00 compensation for your time for the study visit.
To enroll in this research study, please contact:
Sabrina Heidenga
734-794-5662
sabrina.heidenga@progenity.com
2111190
36 September 15 • 2016
Debra
Darvick
end your
questions to
deardebra@
renmedia.us or look
for an anonymous
question submis-
sion form on Debra’s
online column at
www.thejewishnews.
com.
DEAR DON’T,
It sounds like this issue goes way
deeper than a friend who only wants
to text. From what you write, your
friend is using your preference for
phone calls and emails as a way to dis-
engage from you. She doesn’t call. She
doesn’t write. She cancels on you time
and again. These are not the actions of
a good friend.
It hurts, and hurts deeply, when a
friend drops us. The more adult way
to honor a fading friendship is to talk
about it and go one’s own way kindly
and respectfully. From everything you
write, this is not going to happen. Try
with everything you have to move on.
Do not initiate plans with her. Do not
call or email or try to find out “what
you did wrong.”
Chances are you did nothing wrong.
People grow and change and so do
their needs for certain friendships.
And even if you did manage to slight
her in some way, her passive aggres-
sive rejection of you — and not letting
you set things right — is a no-win
situation.
As for your initial frustration with
texting, it’s here to stay whether we
like it or not. Continue to use all
methods at hand — phone, email, text
— to make plans and keep in touch
with your other friends. They are all
tools for setting up the communica-
tion you prefer — in person and face-
to-face.
DEAR DEBRA,
Last Passover, my husband and I had
nowhere to go for seder. We are a young
couple with no children yet and do not
belong to a synagogue or temple. We
called a synagogue at the last minute,
but there was already a waiting list for
their community seder. One of my friends
heard we had nowhere to go and invited
us to join her and her husband and her
parents who were in from out of town.
It was wonderful and made me realize
how much we are missing by not being
involved in the Jewish community. My
husband refuses to join a synagogue
because he says it’s too expensive to join
when we only go for the High Holidays.
But I don’t want to spend another
Passover scrambling for an invitation.
— Missing More Than Matzah
DEAR MISSING,
As you are beginning to sense, belonging
to a synagogue brings more benefit than
tickets to High Holiday services. Joining
a synagogue opens the door to making
lifelong friends, expanding your Jewish
knowledge base and getting involved in
tikkun olam (social action) endeavors.
By attending services more than twice
a year, you open yourselves to experienc-
ing an entire cycle of Jewish ritual and
celebration (including Passover seders!)
that you’ve been missing. When you
amortize all of the above, your husband
just might view joining a synagogue
somewhat differently. So often, one
member of a couple feels the need to
belong more than the other. If this is your
situation, don’t let your husband’s disin-
terest hold you back from answering your
neshamah’s (soul/spirt) call.
You didn’t mention if you attend High
Holiday services now, but you’re just in
time with Rosh Hashanah coming “late”
this year. Most, if not all, synagogues
have membership levels tailored to young
singles and couples.
Some offer a voluntary system where-
by you contribute what you can. I am
pretty confident no one will be turned
away for financial reasons.
Some folks think the “whole money
thing and dues” is a real turn off and
synagogues should be there whenever we
want and need them. Maybe in HaOlam
HaBa (the world to come.) In this world,
there are the realities of maintaining
facilities, salaries, and sponsoring pro-
grams and religious education. Connect
now and by next Passover you, and hope-
fully your husband, will know just how
priceless membership can be.
*
Check out Dear Debra’s latest venture at
pictureaconversation.com.