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Unconditional Love
— Or Tough Love?

Parshat Devarim: Deuteronomy 1:1-3:22;
Isaiah 1:1-1:27

O

n Tisha b’Av, we mourn
words of reprimand only after lead-
the destruction of the Holy
ing the Jews to victory over the two
Temples, which was the
superpowers of the region: Sichon, the
result of baseless hatred. The rebuild-
king of the Amorites, and Og, the king
ing of the third temple, which we
of Bashan. He felt that his tough words
anticipate longingly every single day,
would only have an impact if the Jews
is dependent on unconditional love
were convinced that he was a true
— especially for family members. The friend, with only their best interests at
Jewish nation is one big family. The
heart. They had recently seen Moses,
way to redemption is love.
at the age of 119, put his life
And yet …
on the line for their sake and
The Shabbat before Tisha b’Av
lead them to victory. Only
— known as Shabbat Chazon,
then did Moses feel confi-
the Shabbat of the Vision — we
dent that tough love could
always read the Torah portion
work.
of Devarim. This introduces
Hillel states, “Be of the
the Book of Devarim, which
disciples of Aaron; Love
contains the sometimes harsh
peace, pursue peace, love the
Rabbi
rebuke that Moses directs
creatures and bring them
toward the Jewish people before Elimelech
close to the Torah” (Ethics
Silberberg
his passing.
of the Fathers 1:12). Aaron
And the haftorah of the
understood that to bring a
Shabbat contains the above-mentioned person closer to Torah and mitzvot,
vision of the Prophet Isaiah, which
one must first be a genuine friend.
includes his words of reproof to the
Once he is convinced that you truly
Jewish people. If this is the Shabbat
care for him and love him, he might
that we must work on our ahavat
accept your overtures.
Yisrael (love of fellow Jews), why focus
If he is certain that you have his
on rebuke?
best interests in mind and that your
One might think it would make
attempt to engage him in a Torah life-
more sense for Moses to end his life
style is not because you want to score
with sweet words laced with love. Yet,
points with God but rather is based on
he chose to emulate our patriarch
an altruistic desire to bring him and
Jacob, who in his last days castigated
his loved ones true joy, meaning, peace
those of his offspring who deserved it.
and fulfillment — then and only then
Jacob was concerned that were he
can you hope to bring a fellow Jew
to rebuke his children earlier in his
toward Torah and mitzvot so he can
life some of them might leave the fold. properly fulfill his Divine mission on
People generally don’t take criticism
this earth.
too well, and when rebuked they will
Shabbat Chazon, when we read the
defend themselves, claiming that the
Torah portion of Devarim, is a time to
person leveling the criticism has an
ponder the idea that tough love must
agenda. Before their death, however,
be preceded by — and will only work
most people have no negative agenda,
in conjunction with — unconditional
so Jacob and Moshe both felt that right love.
before leaving the world was the most
Elimelech Silberberg is a rabbi at Tugman Bais
auspicious time to “lower the boom.”
Chabad Torah Center in West Bloomfield.
Nevertheless, Moses began his

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August 11 • 2016

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