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12 July 7 • 2016

Kohn, who still works part-time as
a therapist, started having problems
when she was in her 20s. She’s still
angry recalling how her doctor sug-
gested she might be having an anxiety
attack. Her MS wasn’t diagnosed until
she was 40 and had a major flare-up.

SHARING IT ALL
The women call their group It’s a
Blessing. One of their former mem-
bers, who succumbed to cancer several
years ago, said whenever she’d com-
plain about her health, her mother-in-
law would say “It’s a blessing,” meaning
things could be worse.
Diane Traurig, a former preschool
teacher, says she thinks of the group
members as snowflakes: Every mem-
ber is unique, but they have so much
in common.
Snowflakes, mused Rabinovitz,
“could be another name for our
group!”
Members like to talk about not only
what they’ve lost, but also about what
they still have, including stable mar-
riages. They belie statistics that show
many marriages fail when one partner

faces a chronic illness. They talk about
their children, who have grown up
coping with an ailing parent.
A few times the women invited their
husbands to join them for a meeting.
“It was a profound experience to
witness their self-created cocoon of
support,” said Henry Traurig. “Men
don’t do that; women know how to.
I have a real sense of gratitude that
Diane had this warm cocoon right in
our neighborhood.
“I’m blown away by what happens
in this group. To know that Diane has
this group to turn to is a godsend.”
Arleen Miller’s death in 2015 was a
crisis for the group.
“The last time we were with her was
so painful,” Kohn said. “I said to her,
‘You and I have been the pillars of this
group. I don’t know if we can go on
without one of our pillars.
“And she told me not to make her
feel guilty for dying. We decided to go
on because we know how important
the group is to us.”
Rabinovitz said, “We knew there
were people in the group who still
needed us. How could we stop?”

