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Steve and Joan are Jewish, so Elana
was raised in her adoptive parent’s
faith. Evie is Christian, however, so
had Evie nurtured Elana, she would
have known Christianity. Elana refers
to herself as “Jewish by conversion.”
“My birth mother may not have
been Jewish, but Judaism is all I’ve
ever known,” she said.
Some of the many aspects of
Judaism that Elana appreciates include
the culture, the traditions, the teach-
ings of the Torah and the history of the
Jewish people. She also has a love for
Israel, having traveling there with her
family in 2005.
Evie said she didn’t know Elana
had been adopted by a Jewish family
and raised Jewish until they reunited,
but she said it “doesn’t matter” to her.
Evie has had friends of different faiths
throughout her life and religious per-
suasion has never had any bearing on
her relationships.
“Religion doesn’t change who you
are — we’re all the same,” Evie said. “It
doesn’t matter what anybody believes
in. It doesn’t affect my outlook on
people.”
Joan and Steve note that Elana is a
“spiritual child” who has the capacity
to embrace various religious traditions.
“I imagine had she been raised in a
Christian home where she had those
kind of opportunities that would have
spoken to her as well because that’s
just who she is,” Steve said.
Judaism has framed Steve and Joan’s
perspective on adoption. They belong
to B’nai Israel Synagogue in West
Bloomfield, and both are educators at
Hillel Day School in Farmington Hills.
“In the Jewish tradition, which we
believe is very wise, the parent is the
person who raises the child, not gives
birth to the child,” Steve said. “Birth is
an event that happens once, raising a
child is forever.”
The Freedmans also have two sons
and a daughter.
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“There’s definitely a tie between the
two of them,” Steve said, referring to
Elana and Evie.
Elana and Evie have continued to
keep in touch since their meeting last
summer. They often exchange messag-
es on Facebook, as well as text and talk
on the phone. Elana said they “defi-
nitely” plan to see each other again.
Last holiday season, Elana was sur-
prised to receive more than two dozen
small gifts from Evie (“One for every
year I missed,” she said.). The package
came with a card that wished Elana
both “Merry Christmas” and “Happy
Chanukah.”
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Birth mother and birth daughter
have learned they have much in com-
mon. Besides a shared appearance that
includes eye color, skin tone and facial
structure, their personalities are also
somewhat alike.
“Elana’s outgoingness, the bubbli-
ness, the desire to help people — a lot
of that comes from me,” Evie said.
In addition, they have several of the
same interests, including fitness, dogs
and motorcycles. Elana said they are
still getting to know each other and
look forward to discovering other con-
nections.
Elana has also become close to Evie’s
other biological daughter, Christina,
and Elana would like to meet her bio-
logical father at some point.
Both Elana and Evie hope their story
will motivate others who are searching
for loved ones, especially those who
are also involved in closed adoptions.
“I want to inspire other people,”
Elana said. “If you are searching for
your birth parent or a sibling or who-
ever — don’t give up.”
*
Adoption Help
Jewish Family Service of Metropolitan
Detroit (JFS) in West Bloomfield pro-
vides personalized social and mental
health services to individuals and
families in the Metropolitan Detroit
area.
One of JFS’ offerings was an adop-
tion program that was discontinued
eight years ago, said Ellen Yashinsky
Chute, JFS’ senior director of behav-
ioral health services. Hundreds of
children were placed with parents
in the years the service was in exis-
tence. The organization now refers
adoption queries to outside agencies,
including Child & Parent Services Inc.
in Bingham Farms.
“Adoption is a very pertinent
issue in the Jewish community,” said
Yashinsky Chute.
JFS does serve those who may
have issues stemming from the fact
they were adopted. Yashinsky Chute
oversees a staff of 15 mental health
therapists, including herself, who pro-
vide outpatient counseling.
“Adoption might not be the primary
reason people seek counseling, but
it comes out in counseling — it does
affect people,” Yashinsky Chute said.
To learn more about JFS, visit jfsdetroit.org, call
(248) 592-2300 or email resourcecenter@
jfsdetroit.org. Find out about adoption resourc-
es by visiting Child & Parent Services Inc. at
childandparentservices.com or call (248) 646-
7790.