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Essay Contest
for High School Seniors

100 MENSCHES invites graduating Jewish high

school seniors to submit an 800 1,000 word
original essay describing how Jewish values can
help create a future free of domestic abuse.

These Jewish values may help guide your thinking:

CHESSED

Compassion and
caring for others

RODEF SHALOM

The pursuit of understanding,
empathy and mutual respect

SHALOM BAYIT

Harmony in
the home

In your essay please be specific about changes that
would help play a role in eliminating domestic abuse
in the Jewish, and broader, community.

The TOP THREE submissions will be awarded
college scholarships totaling $5,000:

1 st Place
2 nd Place
3 rd Place

DEADLINE

$2,500
$1,500
$1,000

April 15, 2016 by 5pm

Visit 100mensches.org for judging criteria,
student eligibility guidelines, and to download
the application. Email your submission and
application (as PDFs) to lklein@jfsdetroit.org.

Please make sure your name isn’t on your
submission as judging will be anonymous.

Winners will be announced by May 15, 2016.

Questions? Contact Ellen Yashinksky Chute
at eychute@jfsdetroit.org or 248-592-2666.

100 MENSCHES is a group of men who are
taking a stance against domestic abuse and are
committing to being a part of the solution.

100 MENSCHES is an initiative of JCADA,

the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse,
a program of Jewish Family Service.

8 April 7 • 2016

Buddha Barbie

All The Single Ladies

T

here is no perfect life. The
This brings me to today.
word perfect in itself sets us
First of all, there is no perfect
up for complete failure in our Prince. In fact, usually the higher
everyday lives. I learned an expres-
up one is in the kingdom makes for
sion years ago, “the enemy
a bigger pain in the royal
of great is perfect.” This
tuchas. There are wonderful
means that while we are so
men out there but certainly
busy looking for perfection
they all have faults, just as
we overlook when some-
we do. Romantic relation-
thing is just plain good or
ships can add wonderful joy
even great.
to our lives — but they can’t
Life is not a fairy tale —
be our only focus.
besides, fairy tales are not
I always tell people to focus
exactly as great looking as
on a purpose not a person.
we thought when we were
Secondly, falling in love
Karin Katz
kids.
does not take away the bur-
Let’s take a closer peek …
dens and stress of everyday
While Prince Charming always
life. Meeting a man doesn’t save you.
seemed so wonderful — handsome,
So despite what fairy tales say —
successful, great hair — obviously
women already have it all. We have
there was no follow-up or gauge on
the ability to save ourselves.
how the happy couple really wound
Preparing young Jewish women to
up once life became reality. So tech-
be their own “saviors” should start
nically we only have a sneak peek at
early in childhood. Historically, gen-
their “romantic” phase.
der often determined where interests
The women depicted in our lovely
were guided in school. Girls were
fairytales of yesteryears had, in actu- ushered toward nursing while boys
ality, quite imperfect lives.
were steered toward being doctors,
Take Snow White, for example.
woman paralegals and men lawyers.
She had a narcissistic, insecure,
Luckily, those days are gone and
homicidal stepmother who actually
women can achieve greatness in any
put a hit out on her own stepdaugh-
field they desire. It is with educa-
ter because of her deep jealousy.
tion that women can create a strong
How about Cinderella? She had
foundation for their future.
an emotionally and verbally abusive
Don’t get me wrong. I still believe
stepmother along with stepsisters
in love. I just believe that teaching
who ridiculed her shamelessly. In
girls to wait for Prince Charming
today’s world, Cinderella would have to come along and rescue them is a
been a ward of the state and taken
dangerous concept. Don’t be damsels
out of her home on first-degree
in distress; be the answer to your
child-abuse charges and placed into
own fairy tale. Create your own
foster care.
happy ending where the heroine goes
Alas, in the midst of all their fam- to graduate school, has a fabulous
ily drama, the Prince always comes
career, meets a great guy or doesn’t,
along to save the day.
has wonderful friends and is self-
This is what sets girls up for fail-
sufficient.
ure. We are groomed to believe that
Life is not a Disney film, and it
if we don’t have that happy ending
does not always play out the way we
we are not OK. The focus is so much imagined it would.
on the meeting of the Prince that we
What’s important to know is that
have overlooked everything else in
we can write our own script, buy our
the story — all of our lives.
own glass slippers and still live hap-
We don’t realize when we are
pily ever after.
young and impressionable and read-
Karin Katz explores her Zen-centric journey into
ing these stories, tucked into bed
self-awareness through her nationally renowned
and dreaming of our future, that
blog BuddhaBarbie.com, which balances spirituality
meeting the Prince doesn’t save us
with beauty. Contact her at bbarbiejn@gmail.com
— it just adds a new dimension to
for comments, questions, events and sightings.
our lives.

DAN LIPPITT

How can Jewish values help create
a future free of domestic abuse?

*