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Clothing Makes The Purim

I

f clothing makes the man,
Even our shoes — everyone’s
then wardrobe malfunctions
had their fair turn happily kicking
make us human.
around town, oblivious to that bit
My friend is a fabulous teacher.
of toilet paper flapping along with
One day, she gave her students a
their heel. So much can go wrong
special treat they’ll relish forever.
just from being dressed!
It all began when she accidentally
The clothes we wear say some-
tucked her skirt into the back of
thing about us and, if you’re wear-
Rochel Burstyn
her tights and ended when she
ing a costume on March 23-24,
turned around to write something
then what you’re saying is “Happy
on the board …
Purim!” In the story of Purim, there were
Then there’s my other friend, who was
many miracles disguised as natural events,
innocently riding the escalator in a busy
much like all miracles these days — and
mall one day when her long skirt got
one reason why it’s customary to dress up
caught. Despite her desperate yanks, the
on Purim is to commemorate this idea.
skirt was sucked into the stairs, leaving her
To recap the Purim story (if there
standing, pink-faced and bare-legged, while was a language called Gab-of-the-Garb):
everyone nearby sent up the universal
King Ahasuerus got hot under the collar
heartfelt prayer of onlookers everywhere:
and executed his queen, Vashti. When
“Thank God, I’m not in her shoes.”
he announced he was looking for a new
It’s not limited to skirts; all clothing is a
queen, all eligible ladies jumped out of their
potential embarrassing moment waiting to
pants with excitement and dressed to kill,
happen. Ever walk around with one of the
hoping they’d be a perfect fit. Esther suited
buttons on your shirt gaping open? Or with Ahasuerus — he fell in (g)love with her
a sock stuck with static to the back of your
even though she didn’t quite wear her heart
sleeve? Or seen a person who keeps hitch-
on her sleeve.
ing up his coat, optimistically thinking he’s
Haman, the king’s adviser, who was really
lost weight, only to realize that he’s walked
too big for his britches, came up with a plan
off with someone else’s jacket?
to kill all the Jews. (He thought he was such

a smarty-pants.) The Jews buckled down
to pray like never before. Esther planned a
party and invited Ahasuerus and Haman,
who nearly burst at the seams with pride.
At the party, Esther told Ahasuerus some-
one was trying to kill her and Ahasuerus
said, “Who’s this turtleneck?”
Esther said, “Haman,” and at the drop
of a hat everything changed. Haman was
divested and was hanged, along with his
10 sons, on the gallows (talk about airing
one’s dirty laundry in public). Overalls, the
Jews were very happy from then on and
celebrate until today.
So, whatever you’ve got on, whether it’s a
clean tie (aka soup-of-the-day magnet) or
a sweater (aka what you have to wear when
your mother is cold), whether you’re in cos-
tume or dressed to the nines, remember:
You’re never fully dressed without a smile.
Happy Purim!

*

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guest column

It’s Up To Us To Restore Civility

D

aily, we are seeing unprecedent-
ed personal attacks and drama
among the candidates on the
Republican ticket for our highest office.
Looking back to the first televised
debate between Kennedy and Nixon, we
know that Kennedy’s black suit and suave
demeanor dealt a death knell to Nixon, who
was dressed in a drab grey suit that blended
with the background leaving only the sweat
on his forehead to be noticed.
Appearance aside,
the words spoken by
Kennedy and Nixon
are revealing in analyz-
ing the chaos of today.
Kennedy’s opening
remarks ended with the
following:
In 1933, Franklin
Ken Gross
Roosevelt said in his
inaugural that this gen-
eration of Americans has a rendezvous with
destiny. I think our generation of Americans
has the same rendezvous. The question now
is: Can freedom be maintained under the
most severe attack it has ever known? I think
it can be. And I think in the final analysis it
depends upon what we do here. I think it’s
time America started moving again.
Then Vice President Nixon ended his

opening by stating:
The final point that I would like to make
is this: Sen. Kennedy has suggested in his
speeches that we lack compassion for the poor,
for the old and for others that are unfortu-
nate. Let us understand throughout this cam-
paign that his motives and mine are sincere. I
know what it means to be poor. I know what
it means to see people who are unemployed. I
know Sen. Kennedy feels as deeply about these
problems as I do, but our disagreement is not
about the goals for America but only about
the means to reach those goals.
Kennedy’s and Nixon’s statements reveal
that the issues America faces in 2016 are
essentially the same as they were 56 years
ago. We face a global threat today — from
ISIS, North Korea and Iran. The state of
economic growth, personal financial welfare
and race relations are top concerns today
as they were in 1960. While technology has
advanced since 1960, the core issues have
not.
So what explains the difference in debate
style? Is it because of Twitter, reality TV or
some form of abandonment of respect for
the concept of public service?
Granted, many Americans are angry with
the current partisan nature of politicians
and the resulting lack of progress. I am one
of those Americans, and I do want to see

change.
Anger and frustration, however, do not
explain or justify the conduct of the can-
didates. Tolerable limits of behavior are
dictated by what we will accept and what we
will not. Some parents are willing to allow
their children to run through a restaurant,
throwing food and making a scene. Other
parents (in my view, the sane ones) will not
allow such conduct. The same applies to
what we will permit of our candidates.
It’s our responsibility to set limits upon
our children. We must now set the limits
as to what we will tolerate from those seek-
ing to occupy the highest office of our coun-
try and the most powerful position on the
face of the Earth.
The burden lies with us — we are the
people — it is our country, our future and
our reputation.
We must demand that civility be restored
to the process. After that, we can each pick
the candidate who we believe will best
address the same concerns we face today as
we did in 1960.

Save a seat for
a friend.

Accessible to folks in
wheelchairs or who
need assistance.

Light meal served.

Validated parking.

Space is limited.
Please RSVP
by calling
1-866-682-7491.

*

Ken Gross is an attorney with Thav Gross and host of
Law and Reality that airs on radio Tuesdays from noon
to 1 p.m. on WCHB 1200 AM/99.9 FM, Saturdays from
9-10 a.m. on WDFN “The Fan” 1130 AM, and on televi-
sion at 11 a.m. Sundays on TV20.

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March 17 • 2016

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