H

d

Mentor Barry
Kelman and
his mentee
Jules Erb.

several activities each year for all men-
tors and mentees, such as a summer
barbecue, trip to the cider mill and
movie night. “We try to get donations
to subsidize what our mentors pay for
out of pocket,” Kahn says.
Mentor Connection makes the
child’s preferences their priority. “We
won’t admit the child into the program
if they’re not interested,” Kahn says.
“We want them to be comfortable so
they’ll get something out of the experi-
ence.”
Becoming a mentor is a lengthy
process that goes beyond filling out an
application and coming in for an inter-
view. Thorough background checks
are conducted, and once an applicant
has passed, they go through training
before they are officially accepted. The
training session reviews the details of
the program as well as covering topics
such as boundaries and recognizing
child abuse. Only then will a match be
made.
Barry and Jules first met in a book-
store and talked for an hour, mostly
about books and movies. Jules thought
Barry was very nice. Barry was
impressed with the then-11-year-old’s
vocabulary. “Whatever reticence I had
going in disappeared,” Barry says. “I
realized this young boy needed me,
and though I didn’t realize it at the
time, I needed him.”
Over the years the pair has had
many outings — from visiting
Greenfield Village to attending base-
ball games to going sledding. But Jules’
true passion is movies; he’s introduced
Barry to genres such as Japanese
anime and, in return, Barry has shared
classics such as Citizen Kane and North
by Northwest.
“He has an encyclopedic knowledge
of movies of every stripe,” Barry says.
“I’ve learned as much as I’ve taught.

We are both students and teachers.”
Jules will be continuing his educa-
tion when he attends Wayne State
University in the fall where he plans to
study, no surprise, film.
Ask Jules about his relationship
with Barry and he’ll tell you that it’s
one of the most wonderful things to
have happened to him. “The best part
of having a mentor,” he says, “is just
having someone close to talk to and to
share experiences with.”
According to his mom, “Barry has
had such a positive influence over
Jules in his schoolwork, his entry into
manhood and in trusting another per-
son. I couldn’t have asked for a better
match for my son.”
Adds Barry, “I view the time I have
spent with Jules as a gift he has given
to me. I have learned patience and
how to listen without judging. It cer-
tainly wasn’t easy all the time. It was
challenging sometimes, but anything
worthwhile is.”
Mentor Connection is always
accepting new mentors and has a spe-
cific need for men living in Oakland
County to mentor boys. (The program
dictates same-gender matches.) If you
are interested in learning more about
becoming a mentor, know of a child
who would benefit from the program
or would like to make a donation to
help support the program’s operating
costs, contact Natalie Kahn at (248)
592-2264 or nkahn@jfsdetroit.org.
“I’m happy I took the plunge and
I invite — no, implore — others to
do so,” Barry says. “You’ll get support
and guidance from the great staff and
other mentors. You’ll give a great gift,
but with a bit of luck you’ll get much
more.”

*

Debbie Feit is communications manager at
Jewish Family Service.

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