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Behind The Veil
Parshat Vayeitzei: Genesis 28:10-32:3;
Hosea 12:13-14:10.
B
efore the start of a Jewish wed-
giving him Esau's blessing functioned the
ding, there is a brief ceremony
same way.
called bedekken in which the
Jacob took advantage of Isaac, who
groom lowers a veil over his bride's face.
couldn't see the face in front of him. Jacob
One explanation hearkens back to this
was taken advantage of, when he couldn't
week's Torah portion, Vayeitzei. Jacob has see the face in front of him.
fallen in love with Rachel, but uninten-
We all walk through life wearing veils
tionally marries Leah after Laban hides
of one sort or another. We have private
his elder daughter behind a veil. To rec-
lives. We share inside jokes. We hide
tify the problem, our modern groom low- behind a computer. There is nothing
ers the veil only after checking to make
wrong with making a distinction between
sure he is standing with his betrothed.
our public and private personas, but even
The ceremony begs an obvi-
when our intent is not to deceive,
ous question: Given that Jacob
we sometimes do so.
made such a terrible mistake,
Which is why the fleeting
moment of lifting a veil can be
why do we utilize a veil at all? If
we are to learn from Torah, why
so powerful. Bride and groom
not simply eliminate the source
say to one another, even though
of Jacob's error?
veils are part of life, we will strive
to make this relationship holy
One answer is that the veil
also reminds us of Jacob's
through the courage of openness.
Rabbi Mark
mother, Rebecca, who famously Miller
We will value one another by
covered her own face as a sign
fully sharing both the good and
the difficult moments in life.
of modesty when she first met
Isaac. In today's fast-paced world, mod-
And perhaps the deepest impact of
esty seems like a quaint concept. But our
bedekken can be felt by the family and
heritage offers great wisdom, and we
friends who witness this moment. It is a
hope that marriages will be built on the
reminder to each of us that, while we may
Jewish values that have kept our families
not be the current bride or groom, we,
and communities strong for so many
too, can benefit from a lifting of our veils,
finding a community around us in which
generations.
But in a more subtle fashion, the
we can feel safe, loved and valued.
veil calls our attention to Jacob's own
Jacob learned his lesson the hard way.
story. Remember, he never would have
May each of us use his story to help build
been in this position if he had not done
the best relationships we can. *
exactly what was eventually done to him
Mark Miller is a rabbi at Temple Beth El in
— deceived someone else by covering
Bloomfield Township.
himself. It wasn't exactly a veil, but the
disguise he used to fool his father into
'Medication Reminders
'Safety Monitoring
'Transportation
Call
Lynn Feinberg and
Andy Roisman
'Bathing & Dressing
'Kosher Prepared Meals
•Companionship
(248) 594-4574
visit us online • arcadiahomecare.com
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November 19 2015
61