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With this coupon. www.stardeli.net DELIVERY AVAILABLE 2026570 oc.1 ••••r; eAceaa Stelz D1to qeattA awe 'eavofr, West Bloomfield 6215 Orchard Lake Rd. Bloomfield Hills 43259 Woodward Ave. 248 539 5900 248 858 5800 Farmington Hills 35558 Grand River Ave. Farmington Hills 24273 Middlebelt Rd. 248-615-1900 248 473 9900 - - - - - - www.lamarsacuisine.com Aet6g, I I I I r I I I I CG 11/1a/6 a :15% OFF $5 OFF or more Total Bill :: $25 mirchase 1 I II Expires 9/30/15. II Expires 9/30/15. I I Coupon valid at all locations. II Coupon valid at all locations. I L NOTTING HILL REHAB SERVICES When you choose our center for your rehabilitation needs, you can take comfort in knowing that well be here for you every step of the way, for as long as you need us. of WEST BLOOMFIELD Our competent, caring staff is focused on providing comprehensive rehab services to our patients. Our rehab services include: State-of-the-Art Rehabilitation Gym & Hydrotherapy Pool • Comprehensive Rehabilitation Services Including: Physical, Occupational and Speech Therapies • Orthopedic Rehabilitation • Stroke/Neurological Rehabilitation • Prosthetic Training • Treatment of Swallowing Difficulties • Back Injuries Rehabilitation • Physiatrist on Staff 6535 Drake Road, West Bloomfield, MI 48322 phone 248.592.2000 I www.cienafacilities.com 107719,, 58 August 20 • 2015 JN The Way We Do The Things We Do I have a friend who works methodically and expects others to do the same. Because families have their own ways of doing things — loading a dishwasher, making a bed, assigning household tasks, even taking criticism or giving compli- ments — its cohesiveness can be affected more by the disparate ways people do tasks than by the tasks themselves. But by becoming aware of these < "ways," we can avoid a corrosive impact on individuals, the family as a whole or the task itself. • One way that upsets people is the "Careless Way." This is when a task is done incom- pletely or poorly. A par- ent asks a child to tidy up the kitchen: Done improperly, dishes will be left in the sink, not loaded into the dish- washer; garbage bags will be overflowing, but not taken out. When carelessness becomes painfully apparent to parents, this way engen- ders doubts about a child's maturity or commitment to the home or the family. This can seriously affect fam- ily dynamics. • A corollary to the "Careless Way" is the "Avoidant Way:' For some peo- ple, finishing a task can take hours, days or even weeks, if completed at all. A parent requests that a child clean up his or her room: The child may throw clothes into a closet or under a bed, then proudly announce "I'm done:' When this way is chal- lenged, the child may assert: "It's my room:' Avoiding tasks yields natural outcomes. So, when clothes don't make it to the laundry, there are no clean clothes to wear. Learning this curve may require repeated experi- ences — over months or years — to reveal the connection between no laundry and avoiding a task. • Another way, the "Confusing Way;' triggers other sets of prob- lems. School and work are frequent venues of this way. Here, teachers or supervisors do not provide adequate explanations of tasks, especially those that are complex or have mul- tiple or consecutive parts. While it is essential to challenge new thinkers to create their own ideas, they can't be left to figure out everything on their own. Without proper train- ing or guidance, the task will not be done well or on time. If the endeavor is confusing, the person will not grasp what the whole task is, or its objective — nor will they be able to gain satisfaction from a job well done. • Sometimes the "Wrong Way" is mistaken for the "Confusing Way:' Though given adequate instruction, the person will do the task in her or his own way. A different perspective can be correct or superior if the new method leads to an acceptable out- come. Problems arise, how- ever, when the "New Way" produces over-confidence about what is an improve- ment. In most work or learn- ing environments, knowingly going against designated plans or protocols, even if the results are better, brings a person's commitment to the group into question. As innovation evolves, it gets harder to determine what the "Right Way" is. Change is not always clear-cut or well-explained. Parents, teachers and employers may resist admitting that the old reliable methods require updating. When computers were first introduced, some capable secretaries refused to give up their typewriters; they quit rather than be forced to accept new technology. Now, computers offer us countless ways to improve our lives. When presented with new resourc- es, an open mind makes it easier to choose the best opportunities. Teaching someone to do a task the optimal way produces favorable out- comes and avoids the problem ways discussed here. Furthermore, learn- ing anything requires sufficient time and instructional support to acquire the knowledge crucial to future suc- cess. This is the "Best Way:' ❑ Dr. Daniel Rosenbaum is a clinical social worker at Counseling Associates Inc. in West Bloomfield, where he counsels chil- dren, teens and adults experiencing fam- ily or personal psychological problems.