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DISTINCTIVE APPLIANCES DISTRIBUTING

A Comfort
To Mourners

Larry Miller volunteers at shivahs
to bring a personal touch to services.

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Stacy Gittleman

1

Contributing Writer

YI

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t is never easy to enter a house
of mourning. Larry Miller of
Bloomfield Hills, however, consid-
ers it an honor to comfort the bereaved
as a longstanding member of Temple
Israel's shivah minyan committee.
For 30 years, he has led services
for his extended Temple Israel family
when they are in mourning. No mat-
ter what is going on in his own life, he
said he never says "no" to fulfill this
important mitzvah. He intends to con-
tinue this as long as he can and as long
as he is asked.
Miller, 66, is a lifelong member of
Temple Israel. His family joined the
congregation when he was 6 years old.
He enjoyed Hebrew school and con-
tinued his Jewish education through
high school. At one point, he said,
he thought about becoming a rabbi.
However, life had different plans and
he instead became a dentist.
In 1982, the late Rabbi M. Robert
Syme contacted Miller about join-
ing a new committee. Temple Israel's
congregation was becoming so large
that, at times, it was not possible for a
clergy member to be present at every
shivah minyan. So, Miller, like sev-
eral others at Temple Israel, became
trained to be a prayer leader and offer
personalized words of comfort in the
memory of the deceased.
Temple Israel's Rabbi Jennifer
Kaluzny works with a core group of
shivah and daily minyan leaders like
Miller. They are trained to not only
lead prayers and help the mourners
say Kaddish, but also to be in tune
to the sensitivities and needs of each
individual situation. She describes
their selfless acts as "sacred work that
is integral to the work we [rabbis] do
as clergy:'
"Their job of entering a house of
mourning and guiding mourners
though the painful process of mourn-
ing can be a difficult one Kaluzny
said. "We could not be a Temple Israel
community without them:'
Miller said he is mindful of the
needs of interfaith families, whose

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August 20 • 2015

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From his home, Larry Miller reviews

prayers for a service he recites as a
shivah minyan leader.

non-Jewish members may not be
familiar with Jewish customs. He leads
the services in a mixture of Hebrew
and English, other times he will add
a reading familiar to several faiths,
such as Psalm 23 or the poem "The
Dash" by Linda Ellis that describes
the importance of remembering life's
events between the years of a person's
birth and death. A lover of Broadway,
Miller has even read the lyrics of the
song "For Good" from the musical
Wicked as a way of remembering how
those gathered were touched by the life
of the loved one they just lost.
Miller said that some deaths are
more difficult than others are, espe-
cially if people are mourning someone
who died young.
"Entering a house of mourning
for someone who died at 25 is much
harder than for someone who died at
95, but still you must do it:' he said.
"There is no greater honor for me than
bringing solace for those who just lost
a loved one:'
Miller also gives guidance to those
who may feel awkward paying a shivah
call because they do not know what
to say.
"In a shivah house, less is more said
Miller, who advises to take the mourner's
lead whether or not to engage in conver-
sation. "A hug and a kiss, and your silent
presence while sitting shivah. That is all
that is needed:"

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