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Cell: (248) 417-5632
(248) 855-A BOY (2269)
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Contact Larry Allan
33700 Woodward Ave. • Between 14 Mile & Adams • Birmingham, MI
248-644-8565
44 July 16 • 2015
1966980
ruth be told, growing up in
Northwest Detroit, very few
of us had caring for mom and
dad on our life's agenda. We had better
things to do, and parents had much dif-
ferent roles in our lives, not always warm
and fuzzy.
When we grew up and
began to have families of
our own, it became a subject
often rejected with "I'm not
ready to talk about that" dur-
ing family conversations.
Then the unexpected hap-
pens. That dreaded phone
call from a sibling. "Dad fell.
Mom called 911. Meet you
at the emergency room:' It's
GO time!
Our Jewish "family coun-
cils" are filled by people with wisdom,
compassion and fierce loyalty to family.
These people should meet to create and
implement plans of care for Mom or
Dad. Usually siblings — mostly daugh-
ters — assume traditional roles and pre-
dictably take charge of certain caregiving
responsibilities. The leadership position
depends on professional experience,
venue, gender and age.
TIP: It's important that
all hospitalized patients
being treated for an
unexpected medical
event have a healthcare
advocate who steps
up and asks the tough
questions. The best
choice should be
someone with passion
and chutzpah.
Being Jewish, everybody in the family
has an opinion and everybody's opinion
is valid — but not always helpful. Older
spouses tend to underestimate the physi-
cal and emotional strain caregiving can
bring to their own health and wellbeing.
Mom wants Dad home. Caring for him
has been her job for 50-60 years.
When families are called upon to help
manage the symptoms of chronic illness
or protect the safety of a loved one suf-
fering from dementia, this obligation
really needs to be shared by as many
family members, friends and loved ones
as possible.
Today's caregivers are often working
professionals whose "sandwich" status
has been supersized, now caring for four
generations with the added responsibili-
ties of being bubbie and zaydie.
The more people involved in the
caregiving process, the more
backup when something
goes awry. Almost everybody
brings valuable resources
when it comes to filling a
complicated time schedule of
activities of daily living and
medical appointments.
Like good caregiving and
good parenting, time manage-
ment is an art, not a science.
However, today's blending
of medicine, technology and
the Internet allows family
members living elsewhere to maintain
communication and peace of mind that
Mom and Dad are safe and well cared for
while living in their own home.
By using unobtrusive video cameras,
nanny cams, sensors and laser beams,
we can use smart phones and the
Internet to monitor our parents' activi-
ties of daily living, current vital signs,
medication management and even
screen visitors.
If Dad doesn't come out of the bath-
room in his usual 25 minutes, your
smart phone can alert you. We can con-
trol door locks and temperature settings
remotely. Sensors are available to check
the food in the refrigerator and report
spoilage. Technology can diminish fear
of the unknown and save lots of travel
time.
When we were growing up, successful
parenting was all about honest, direct
communication. And often it was about
stuff we didn't want any part of — but as
kids, we had no choice. Parents have the
responsibility to keep us safe, nourished
and educated. As most of us know, those
roles can reverse quite suddenly with a
health event or the untimely death of
Mom or Dad.
It's never too early to talk to your par-
ents about the future, their medical care,
housing, finances and personal concerns.
Investigating technology can be impor-
tant for exploring options and bringing
peace of mind to family caregivers.
❑
Sandy Linden is founder/president of Pro-
fessional Parent Care in Southfield. If you or
a loved one is having caregiving challenges
or have a unique experience that solved a
family caregiving problem to share, email
him at slinden@professionalparentcare.com.