Crisis from page 8

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IT HAS BEEN A
BUSY SUMMER AT

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,

TEMPLE BETH EL!

If you haven't yet joined us, we hope you'll
consider an outdoor Friday night Music
Shabbat service, a Tigers game,
family movies and more.

Havdallah in the Park

SATURDAY, AUGUST 1 6:00 PM
Havdallah at Shain Park in Birmingham.
Join us and eat, play and close out Shabbat
under the summer sky.

TBE Teams Up With The Tigers!

SUNDAY, AUGUST 23 1:08 PM
Join TBE for a Tigers game and cheer for
Cantorial Soloist Rachel Kalmowitz as she
sings God Bless America during the 7th inning
stretch at Comerica Park.

nit gr: ;?)PPIIIr'r7llIllig

Shabbat Services with New York Cabaret
Artist, Sheera Ben-David

FRIDAY, AUGUST 28 7:30 PM
Outdoor service preceded by wine &
hors d'oeuvres. Pre-neg at 6:30 pm.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 30 2:00 PM
An afternoon of volunteering at our old building
at Woodward & Gladstone! There's something for
everyone! Building tour and dinner following.

TRF 1 Rri flab

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7
Our Gala Celebration of Temple Beth El's
165th Anniversary! Featuring COLLISION SIX,
Detroit A-List Best Band and part of our own
TBE Music Shabbat Band.

7400 Telegraph Road
Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
www.tbeonline.org

For more information on upcoming events or for membership contact
Kim Raznik, Executive Director at 248.851.1100.

10 July 16 • 2015

that the problems started when he and
his wife were getting divorced. As they
fought for custody, he noticed his kids
had head lice, and mom wouldn't take
care of it.
"Not knowing what to do, the dad
went to the school and asked teachers
and administrators to quietly take care
of the problem. He wanted the kids
removed from school to get treatment,
and when they were, mom told the kids
their father hated them, he wanted to
embarrass them in front of the whole
school and told every kid in school you
have head lice."
Wartell's story continued, with a judge
ultimately evaluating the family's custo-
dial environment, and threatening the
children with never seeing their mother
again if they didn't have dinner with
their father — not unlike Gorcya's order-
ing the Tsimhoni children to have lunch
with their father.
"The kids fight the order in court, but
they go see the dad, who they've been
told wasn't paying child support and
didn't want to see them, so I told him to
pull together every motion he ever filed
and every support payment he made,
and to explain to the kids, as if they
were adults, everything that happened:'
Wartell recalled.
"He called me in the morning to tell
me it was the best night of his life and,
by the time they were done, the kids
didn't want to go 'home. They had a
whole new perspective on their daddy
and, without my involvement, wound up
living with hini."
If Wartell's case was similarly compel-
ling but went unnoticed by the press,
what makes the Tsimhoni case worth
talking about now?

A Media 'Spectacle'
"The level of spectacle here, that's
uncommon:' Faber noted. "There are
not too many cases around here that get
glorified or glamorized and picked up
like this.
"The story of these kids is in the
international press, and it has that
international feel with the mom taking
the kids from Israel. I've seen in it in
the Jerusalem Post and on CNN. I've
never seen that before Faber said.
When Eibschitz-Tsimhoni's attorney
made the facts of the ongoing litiga-
tion public and helped to publish court
transcripts, it gave the public a chance
to object to how the court handled the
matter.
Farmington Hills attorney Shelly
Loomus teaches law at Henry Ford
College and has a master's degree in
social work She has her reservations
when it comes to Gorcyis handling of
the case.
"Without knowing all of the events
leading up to her decision, it is unfortu-

nate she felt [deten-
tion at Mandy's Place]
was the only option
available to change
the children's behav-
ior," said the author of
Winning Your High-
Conflict Divorce.
Shelly Loomus
"She is punish-
ing them for their
response to a situa-
tion not of their making; Loomus said.
"Having a relationship with their father
is the desired outcome, but telling
them to do it presumes they know how.
Relationship-building is a process, made
much more difficult for these children
by complexities they cannot fully under-
stand:' she said.
"Perhaps a more effective approach
would be to focus on process and not
punish the children for failing at the end
result. Sadly, the children are now at
greater risk for blaming their father and
the court for their predicament."
But attorney Dizik points out Gorcyca
wasn't the only person with a say in the
matter.
"One fact some people don't seem to
bring up is that each kid was appointed
a guardian ad litem — essentially an
attorney that represents the best interests
of the children — and not one objected
to them being sent to Mandy's Place,
nor did dad's attorney or even mom's
attorney. You have mental health profes-
sionals and a parenting time coordinator
with eyes on this.
"There was basically a team of people
that came up with the answer here, and
their latest answer was to send them to
camp," Dizik said. "I'm sure that it's a
somewhat appropriate resolution."
Similarly, Faber saw no need for
Gorcyca to be "hands off!'
"There is a point where you can't try
to fix a family, but I'm not sure this case
was at that point, where she could say
`you don't have to have anything to do
with your father.' There are cases where
we terminate parental rights or it's clear
there's going to be no relationship with
the parents, but I've seen that in cases
where children are being starved or
parents are using their arms to put out lit
cigarettes:' Faber said.
"The goal of the legal system is to try
and encourage and foster relationships,
because even if at the end of the day it's
rocky or not 'normal: when that kid's
going off to college or walking down the
aisle they will want to ultimately do that
with both parents, not just one or the
other and a stepparent
"We look for normalization in the
courts because the studies show some
relationship with both parents is better
psychologically for a child than no rela-
tionship. Courts try a lot before throwing
in the towel."

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