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Stop! Before You Hit

Parshat Chukat: Numbers 19:1-22:1;
Judges 11:1-11:33.

L

eadership can be one of the most
rewarding experiences, but it is also
a challenge. In this week's Torah
portion, Moses once again
feels the stress of leadership.
Tired and losing hope after
his sister Miriam's death,
Moses hears complaints of
the Israelites that they would
have rather died in Egypt. The
say they were actually happier
during their years in Egyptian
slavery, where they had certain
assurances compared to their
current situation.
They kvetch to their exas-
perated leader that he brought
them to a wretched place with no good
food or water.
To produce water for the people, God
commands Moses and his brother Aaron
to assemble the community and to verbally
instruct a rock to yield its water for the
Israelites to drink. Rather than obeying
these words verbatim, Moses takes his rod
and strikes the rock twice producing water.
For disobeying God's instruction, Moses
is condemned by God to die in the wilder-
ness rather than finishing his mission and
leading the people to the Promised Land.
This seems like a harsh punishment for
hitting a rock for water rather than talking
to it. Does it fit the crime? Upon deeper
examination, there is much to learn from
both the mistake and the punishment
Rashi suggests that Moses striking the
rock twice was unnecessary and could have
been interpreted as an insult to the sanctity
of God by diminishing the greatness of the
miracle. A midrash explains that the sin
of Moses was not merely physically strik-
ing the rock, but also losing control of his
temper as his people were complaining and
rebelling.
Both Maimonides and Samson Raphael
Hirsch concur that the severe punishment
was for losing patience with the Israelites
and striking the rock twice in frustration.
The Talmud uses this story to illustrate that
when a prophet loses his temper, his gift of
prophecy abandons him.
Several excuses can be made in defense
of Moses' action. Leading this kvetchy
nation in the hot desert grew taxing on

Moses, raising his stress level and making
it more difficult for him to reason with the
Israelites. The pressure simply made it a
challenge for him to lead.
Also, while Moses had the best
interest of the people in mind
when answering their call for
more drinking water, he ulti-
mately allowed his emotions to
get the best of him and resorted
to hitting rather than speaking.

Domestic Violence

While Moses hit an inanimate
object rather than speaking to it,
his actions are symbolic of a seri-
ous problem today in the Jewish
community.
Domestic violence occurs in Jewish fam-
ilies at about the same rate as in the general
community. However, studies demonstrate
that Jewish women tend to stay in abusive
relationships two or three times longer
than those in the general population.
The misnomer that domestic abuse is
not a Jewish concern further exacerbates
the problem by discouraging abused
women from reporting the abuse to others.
Rather than speaking to each other
about difficult issues within the relation-
ship, many partners (mostly men, accord-
ing to statistics) resort to violence. Often,
men blame their abusive actions on stress
from work, and they allow their emotions
to impair their better judgment.
Regardless of how demanding one's life
may seem with weighty responsibilities at
home and at work, domestic violence is
never acceptable. The lesson of Moses aptly
demonstrates this for us.
He allowed the stress of his job to cloud
his better judgment, and he struck the rock
rather than talking to it as God had com-
manded. His punishment was certainly
severe, but so is the message it sends to our
community: It is always better to use words
than to hit.
For more information on domestic abuse
in the Jewish community, visit www.jcada.
org.

❑

Rabbi Jason Miller is an educator, entrepreneur

and director of Kosher Michigan, a kosher certi-

fication agency. Twitter: @RabbiJason.

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June 25 • 2015

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