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Celebrating
And Remembering

Simchahs incorporate elements that recall loved ones now departed.

Barbara Lewis I Contributing Writer

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Wyman, her grandparents, a couple of uncles
and an aunt. The bride's relatives included a
cousin with Down syndrome who had died
in her 20s.
"It was very special during the ceremony
but also afterward:' Harris said. "People from
both families came up and told stories about
the family members in the pictures. There
were tears of appreciation that their departed
loved ones were remembered. It felt very
much like their spirits were with us:'
Many people planning bar/bat mitzvahs
and weddings find creative ways to remem-
ber departed loved ones.
Brides have incorporated photos of loved
ones into their wedding bouquets or placed
a picture on a chair a beloved relative would
have occupied had they lived, said Tracie
Morris, a certified wedding planner in
Livonia. One wedding reception she coordi-
nated included a display of photos of grand-
parents from both sides in beautiful frames
with their names in calligraphy, decorated
with flowers and candles.
Families often use a religious object that
belonged to a deceased family member. A
special Kiddush cup might be used during
the wedding service or at the end of a bar
mitzvah service.
Bar and bat mitzvah celebrants usually
receive their first prayer shawl at the start
of the service. Often the tallit is one that
belonged to a grandparent or great-grand-
parent, and information about that person is

cr

Lisa Young and Jason Harris were married under a chuppah decorated with photos of
both families' loved ones.

shared with the congregation.

Wrapped In Love

An ancestor's tallit can be used in a wedding,
too, as a chuppah or in the ceremony itself.
Alexandra Gordon Sherman and her
husband, Andrew, were wrapped in a tallit
that belonged to Andrew's great-grandfather,
well-known Jewish philanthropist Max M.
Fisher, during the Seven Benedictions, the
central part of the wedding ceremony.

"Max Fisher represented the importance
of Jewish tradition and generosity to us, so
it felt very special to be wrapped in his tallit
and thus wrapped in the tradition and love
that he represented on our wedding day:' said
Alexandra Sherman, 27, a doctoral student at
the University of Michigan. They were mar-
ried last September in Birmingham's Shain
Park.
Sherman also used a family wedding ring
during her ceremony.

Planning For
The Future

Ruth Marcus used pieces of her
mother's wedding dress to create a
new gown for her daughter, Lauren,
when she married Rick Johnson in
2002. But she didn't stop there.
Marcus of Southfield owned a
veritable treasure trove of heirloom
fabrics that she used to make seven
pillows. Each will be given to one of

• -

Close up of the photos on the chuppah

"Edwin Bean, my maternal grandfather,
was incredibly special to me:' she said. "He
would do anything and everything for his
family, and the commitment that he showed
to those he loved is one we all wanted to
emulate in our own marriage and family. In
using his wedding band during our ceremo-
ny, we, too, were committing to be as dedi-
cated to each other as he was to all of us:'

Celebrating on page 10

the Marcus' seven granddaughters
on their wedding days.
Many of the fabrics came from her
mother's and grandmothers' trous-
seaux.
"I had my grandmother's lace
blanket cover," Marcus said. "From
my other grandmother, I had cross-
stitched pillowcases. From my
mother, I had an exquisite satin-and-
lace nightgown and a set of mono-

Planning on page 10

Isabel Johnson of West Bloomfield, 9, and her sister Olivia, 7, flank their grand-

mother Ruth Marcus of Southfield, who commissioned the pillows containing

pieces of her mother's wedding dress and other heirloom fabrics for her grand-
daughters.

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