Community The St. Joe's Experience MAVEN Dear Debra A 81 ■ =1ft. A ril end your questions to deardebra@renmedia.us or look for an anonymous question submission form on Debra's online column at www.thejewishnews.com . Debra Darvick Dear Debra, My husband and I will be visiting my For Exceptional Stroke Care, Visit St. Joe's A stroke occurs when blood flow to a part of the brain stops. A stroke is sometimes called a "brain attack" and is considered a medical emergency. When you or a loved one has a stroke, call 911 and get to an emergency room immediately. If blood flow is cut off for longer than a few seconds, the brain cannot get blood and oxygen, Ramesh Madhavan, and can result in a stroke. A stroke can take two MD, DM 1 forms: a clot or a bleed in the brain and if not treated quickly, you can suffer brain damage or death. There is hope if you receive timely, specialized treatment. For the best, technologically advanced stroke treatment, come to the leader in stroke care—St. Joseph Mercy Oakland (SJMO). As the home base of the Michigan Stroke Network (MSN), SJMO has top stroke specialists—vascular and interventional neurologists, a neuro intensivist, neurosurgical and neuroendovascular specialists, neuroscience nurses and other clinicians—to treat your stroke and restore your quality of life. St. Joe's stroke specialists use the latest treatments to resolve a stroke. In some cases, a clot-busting drug can dissolve the stroke. In more severe cases, an interventional procedure is performed using the latest technology, such as stent retrievers, to remove the clot and restore blood flow to the brain. In 2004, SJMO, a member of the Saint Joseph Mercy Health System, became Michigan's first certified primary stroke center. This laid the foundation for the MSN, which was launched in October 2006 by Trinity Health and SJMO. The MSN provides technologically advanced stroke care not only at St. Joe's, but also to more than 30 partner hospitals throughout Michigan via telemedicine, using two-way, audio-visual robotics to provide remote clinical health care. The MSN works in partnership with the Wayne State University Physicians Group to provide access to stroke care, ongoing clinical trials and stroke research across Michigan. "To prevent a stroke, follow a healthy diet, reduce your sodium intake, keep your cholesterol and blood pressure down, exercise and don't smoke," says Ramesh Madhavan, MD, DM, an SJMO vascular neurologist and Medical Director of Telemedicine. Dr. Madhavan also advises for protection from a stroke, know your risk factors and the signs and symptoms of stroke. Visit www.michiganstrokenetwork.com to learn more. Be aware of the the acronym FAST to remember the signs of a stroke: F: Face numbness or tingling A: Arm weakness or paralysis S:Speech abnormality T:Time is critical "By knowing the signs and symptoms of a stroke, you can help save a loved one," says Dr. Madhavan. By Jack Weiner, President and CEO St. Joseph Mercy Oakland in-laws soon with our new baby. They are throwing a party in our daughter's honor. lam nervous about how I will be able to keep all the guests from touch- ing her. I don't want to appear mean, but I can't stand the thought of hordes of visi- tors trying to hold her and reach for her. I know they mean well and are excited for us, but how can I protect our baby from all that touching without seeming rude or unappreciative? — Tiger Mom — Where's the Bachelorettiquette? Dear Tiger Mom, I understand your anxiety about being the center of some pretty intense attention. Just remember that everyone who reaches out to touch your baby is overcome with excite- ment and memories of their own days as a new parent. Plain and simple, babies are magic; the spell they cast turns ordinary people into boundary breakers, well-meaning, but boundary breakers all the same. On party day, designate a place as baby central, maybe in your in-laws' den or living room. Set up a Pack'n Play or lay your daughter on her favor- ite blanket on a section of a couch or deep chair. The idea is to make her ac- cessible to looks and cooing, but not to reaching out and touching.Take turns with your husband receiving your guests. By staying beside your daughter, you can say simply and warmly to anyone who looks like they might pounce,"Please, no touching' They will get the message. And should you encounter someone who doesn't, re- peat your no-touching request firmly and perhaps take the baby to another room for a brief nap or a feeding. Above all, take a deep breath and enjoy all the attention and love during your stay. Before you know it, your little daughter will be running circles around you. Next time you visit your in-laws, you just might welcome someone taking her off your hands for a few minutes so you can grab a bagel or slice of quiche and share some grown-up conversation. Dear Debra, I've just returned from another budget- blowing bachelorette weekend. When I RSVP'd, I asked the hostesses what the shared costs would be. The party was in DiscoverRemarkable 1854960 32 June 20151 RED THREAD another state so there were flight and hotel costs as well. The hostesses never responded to me. Some of the other guests were just as shocked as I was at the cost of the dinner and gift we were expected to contribute. The bride was not a Bridezilla in any way. I don't think she would have wanted us to go to such an expense. There are more friends in our group who are engaged or about to be. I want to celebrate with and contribute to the events. But what can I do so that I don't end up broke before the last bride walks down the aisle? Dear Where's the Bachelorettiquette, (Nice turn of phrase by the way.) As with everything from baby birth- day parties, bar mitzvahs and sweet 16s, wedding hooplah is approaching Roman proportions. Instead of burn- ing silently while the hostesses fiddle with the plans, speak up! Before you RSVP, ask the hostesses what they estimate the shared costs will be. Be straight up; let them know that you cannot RSVP without a clear picture of the costs involved. If the plans seem to be drifting toward Rome, offer to research some budget- friendly options. Because all of you are going to be trading roles — hostesses, guests, bride — there should be sensitiv- ity to everyone's financial realities. If not, and if you really cannot afford to attend, tell the bride as soon as you can. Plan to do something special together before the wedding. Bottom line, what matters most is being there for your friend throughout the years. One party won't, or shouldn't, make or break a good friendship. You might be surprised that others in your group are just as concerned as you are. Before the next bash, perhaps all of you can discuss reasonable parameters so everyone can attend and still be able to meet their financial responsibilities. And look at it this way. Learning to speak up now and set boundaries is good practice for when you all have babies and you are confronted with party guests who want to touch and hold your newborn. (See above from Tiger Mom.) Debra Darvick shares her unique take on life, books and more at debradarvick.com.