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14k gold with inlayed stones.
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Lost in Translation

y

ears ago, I had cleaning help
who did not understand
English so I'd give instructions
to her English-speaking boss who'd
translate for us. Once her
boss left, the rest of our
communication was lim-
ited to gestures and facial
expressions. One day, she
completed everything quick-
er than I'd anticipated and
the clock was still ticking in
my favor. Thinking the extra
time could go toward my
grape juice-stained fridge,
I asked her to clean it while
pointing toward the fridge
so she'd know what I was
asking.
"No," she said sweetly and waved me
away.

Huh?
I repeated my request and this time
opened the fridge and indicated inside.
"No. No:' she struggled to explain in halt-
ing English. "Thank you, but I no hungry"
Oops!
Miscommunication can get fun when
there are different languages involved, but
even when everyone's speaking plain old
English.
I was once attending one of those

intimidating meetings
when all kinds of pro-
fessionals are gathered
around a table to discuss
your child. I sat with my baby
on my lap listening as the work-
ers, therapists and principals
took turns introducing them-
selves and listing their creden-
tials. When it was my turn, I
said my name.
"And?" one of the workers
said pointedly.
Feeling humbled, I said, "...
and I thank each of you for tak-
ing time in your busy schedules
to come here today..."
But the worker was smiling.
"Urn, I meant the baby. Aren't you going
to introduce her, too?"
Ohhh. Yeah. I knew that.
And then there are the times when
you're just on completely different wave-
lengths.
When 5-year-old Binyamin was dis-
placed as the baby of the family, I'd opti-
mistically assumed he had his heart in the
right place when he'd carry his new baby
sister to me by her feet (who was, just by
the way, sleeping peacefully moments
before...)
I sat him down for a reassuring little

JN CONTENTS

chat. "I know you like the new baby,
right?"
Binyamin looked right. He looked left.
He leaned close to me, lowered his voice
and said, "Hm. Well, do you?"
Then there's education, country of ori-
gin, culture — all components that make
situations ripe for a fun little miscom-
munication.
Once, I was telling my sister Miriam (in
Australia) that I was expecting.
Me: "Guess what! We're adding two feet
to our house
Miriam: "How nice! In the basement?"
Me: "Well, not exactly. When I said
we're adding two feet, we're also adding
two hands and a head ..."

Awkward pause.
Me: "Miriam, are you following me?"
Miriam: "No. You know we use the
metric system in Australia. I only under-
stand centimeters and stuff ..:'
Talk about sticking your foot in your
mouth! (Ha ha, couldn't resist!)
As fun as they are, there's something
we can learn from stories like these. As
the saying goes, "I'm only responsible
for what I say, not for what you under-
stand:'

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