family focus >> senior living

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Helping Your Mom
Transition To A
Senior Community

A

n exasperated friend, with
Safety: Is the community located in
tears running down her
a safe neighborhood? Do you feel safe
cheeks, told me:
walking in that neighborhood at night?
"My mom lives in her home alone.
Atmosphere: What is your first
impression of the senior community?
She is 89 years old and can no longer
take care of herself, but she refuses to
Are you happy to be there? Is it clean,
even visit a senior com-
neat and tastefully deco-
munity. I am very worried
rated? Is the community full
about her. I have my own
of life with fresh plants and
family to take care of and
flowers? Is it important for
a demanding job. Yet, I
mom to be close to a park,
have to attend to my mom's
lake, river or woods? Does
every need. The stress is
she like nature walks? If so,
unbearable.
does the senior community
"How can I convince
meet the expectations?
mom that there are won-
Staff: Speak with the staff.
Are they polite, friendly,
derful senior residences
that would perfectly suit
professional, clean, orga-
Fa rid eh R.
her needs?"
nized, helpful and pleasant?
Bag ne
This conversation is
Remember their names and
routine in nearly every
make sure mom talks to
family at some point. I would like to
them when she visits the community.
share with you the advice I gave to my
Decor: Consider mom's taste and
friend.
style and match her preference with
I told her that before discussing
the aesthetic of the senior community.
a move to a senior community, she
Size: Does she enjoy being part of a
large community or a small intimate
should do her own research and visit
the residences she felt were suitable
group?
for her mom in the budget range she
Dining: Perhaps the most prevalent
complaint among residents in senior
could afford.
When deciding on suitability, con-
housing is the quality of the food. Pay
sider these factors: care, price, lifestyle, particular attention to the menu and
convenience, safety, atmosphere, staff,
the variety, quality and presentation of
decor, size and food quality.
meals.
In addressing the suitability factors,
After you've done your homework,
approach the subject as follows:
select the top three communities that
Care: Is there a housekeeper or aide
fulfill your mom's expectations.
that routinely takes care of mom? If
Make arrangements with each of
she likes that person, assure her that
the chosen communities for an on-site
the aide can continue to care for her at lunch and tour, and then invite mom
the senior residence. Also, interview
to go out to lunch without mentioning
the senior community.
the on-site private-duty and home-
healthcare personnel.
After you've taken your mom to the
senior facility for lunch and a tour,
Cost: Calculate the cost of staying
at home: repair, maintenance, taxes,
watch her response. Take notes during
insurance, snow removal, lawn care,
your visit. Now, you are able to start a
meals, cleaning, supplies, utilities,
dialogue with her and discuss the suit-
cable, transportation, etc. Compare
ability of the various senior communi-
the cost of staying at home with the
ties you visit.
monthly rent of the senior community.
Finally, remind her that loneliness
Lifestyle: What are her hobbies? Does reduces lifespan by 25 percent — and
she enjoy reading, theater, card games,
you want her around for as long as
nature walks, history, casinos, museums, possible.
sporting events? You will have to assure
mom that the senior community offers Farideh R. Bagne has extensive experi-
ence with seniors, both as the founder,
all the activities she appreciates.
owner and manager of the largest privately
Convenience: Is the location
owned conglomerate of cancer centers in
relatively close to restaurants, shops,
the U.S. and as the president and CEO of
parks, hospitals and friends? Most
Magnolia by the Lakes Senior Village in
communities provide free transporta-
tion and free parking.
Keego Harbor.

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56

April

16 • 2015

JN