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To Have And To Hold

Couples share advice for long, happy marriages.

Sy Manello I Editorial Assistant

ake my wife, please." This quip was
popularized by comedian Henny
Youngman.
Though jokes are often made at the expense
of long-married couples, the truth is that those
long-standing unions are the result of humor
shared as well as mutual understanding and
love.
To celebrate the idea of lasting marriages, I
gathered some reflections of local couples who
have been together for at least 50 years.

The Lorbers

Audrey and Steve Lorber of Commerce
Township will celebrate their 53rd anniversary
in June.
They first met in a car pool going to Wayne
State University. They feel that meeting at
that stage in their lives provided the com-
mon ground to develop a meaningful interest
in each other; being more mature and find-
ing that they shared similar goals drew them
together.
As a couple, they share many interests;
among them is photography, which they made
into a successful videography/photography
business for more than 30 years. They also
enjoy travel, antiquing and just "being togeth-
er."
When asked about the key to lasting mar-
riage, Audrey mentioned several things; the
most important, she said, was acknowledging
the differences that might arise. Common inter-
ests have their place, but she also noted being
able to "let the little things go." (She was not
referring to getting the children to finally leave
home.)
For their anniversary, they like to plan their
annual trip to Hawaii, though they usually wait
to go until December to take advantage of the
great weather.

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celebrate! I March 2015

because they balance each other. She tends to
be a nervous worrier; he starts each day with a
song.
Their advice to staying the course in their
marriage is being willing to compromise. The
only real argument comes when they travel;
Marvin feels that Edith packs too much stuff.
To mark their anniversary, they were joined in
Florida by many family members.

The Perlins

Rhoda and Marvin Perlin of West Bloomfield
will mark their 61st anniversary in June.
They met through mutual friends when they
were 13 and 14 respectively. They were child-
hood sweethearts who felt the closeness of
their backgrounds and interests made them
a "fit." They married at ages 20 and 21, just
before Marvin went into military service.
Together they enjoy travel, decorating their
home and being with their children. They
admit, however, that the children were easier
to keep up with when they and the kids were
younger.
Marvin's advice for a happy marriage would
be to remember to say, "Yes, dear" (listen up,
guys!) and to keep in mind that "marriage is a
marathon, not a sprint."

The Kozlowskis

Edith and Marvin Kozlowski of West Bloomfield
and Boca Raton, Fla., celebrated their 65 years
of marriage this past January.
Originally they were from Radom, Poland.
They ended up in different camps during World
War II. When liberated, Marvin's father sought
out other survivors who were from Radom and
a friend told him of Ruth and her two sisters.
The rest is history — of a wonderful, lasting
union.
Edith believes that they get on so well

The Smiths

Eleanor and Phil Smith of West Bloomfield
recently celebrated 70 years of marriage.
The couple met during their high school
years. Though they went to different schools,
they often attended social clubs, which drew
young people to gatherings at various homes.
They feel they were "lucky" to be drawn to
each other.
When they married, they knew it was to be a
long-term commitment; "easy out if you change
your mind" was not even an option.
They attribute their successful marriage to let-
ting each other grow in his/her own way. Their
common interests — camping, square dancing
and travel — helped a lot.
Working toward common goals and on a
foundation of trust has proven a successful
plan.
Their recent anniversary was marked at a
dinner with many family members and will con-
tinue at a large family seder in Philadelphia.
Thankful for good health and a loving group
of children and grandchildren, the Smiths look
forward to many more happy years together.
The keys to a lasting marriage seem to be
sharing and understanding. All of the couples
agree that a shared life — built on love and
respect for each other — is well worth working
on.
May they continue to do so for many more
years. And may they have each other "to have
and to hold from this day forward." ❑