Happily
Ever
After

Mark Miller
writes about
post-divorce
dating with a
smile on his face.

I

Suzanne Chessler

Contributing Writer

A

s Valentine's Day nears,
Mark Miller reflects on
how he can't think of a time
when his two grown children looked to
their dad's dating experiences for lessons
they could learn.
He gave them plenty of opportunities.
Miller, who is divorced, has written
about the highlights, and lowlights, of
his more than 500 post-marriage dates
for newspapers,
magazines and online
publications.
To show that the
end of a marriage
does not have to
mean the end of
a sense of humor,
Miller has compiled
his essays about
romance into a
book released this
month — 500 Dates:

Dispatches from the
Front Lines of the
Online Dating Wars
Mark Miller
(Skyhorse Publishing;
$16.95).
Injecting humor into the often nerve-
wracking process of quickly getting to
know someone, often during a 30-min-
ute coffee date, his own background
brings Jewish culture to the mix in his
search for long-lasting love.
"So many people complain about dat-
ing, especially online dating, which I've
done a lot;' says Miller, who is based in
Los Angeles.
"One of the ways I've turned lemons
into lemonade is that I've found a way to
monetize the whole process — looking
at the humor in it and getting paid to
write about that:'
Miller says that the specific experienc-
es he details are true except that names
have been changed. His dating fantasies,
however, are not true.
He writes of dates who anticipate
pricey restaurants, have too many cats

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FOREWORD BY JULIE SPIRA

or look decades older than shown on
pictures posted on websites. Among
the worst was the woman who became
instant pals with his ex-wife at a holiday
party.
While Miller has mused about using
dating as a fit punishment for terrorists,
he does recall some productive experi-
ences.
'Although most of the early dates tend
to be at Starbucks, one woman wanted
me to join her for a regular Sunday
morning routine," he recalls.
"That turned out to be
111111 delivering bags of grocer-
ies to homebound AIDS
patients. That was special.
Even though I didn't hit it
off with her, it's an experi-
ence I'll never forget:'
Miller, 62, grew up in
New York State before
majoring in English at
Franklin & Marshall
College in Pennsylvania.
"When I got out of col-
lege, I had a couple of jobs
in advertising:' says Miller,
who has earned his core
paychecks as a business
writer, copywriter and marketing-com-
munications specialist.
"Nothing steady was happening, and
my parents had moved to a city where
I didn't know anybody. I thought if I'm
going to be unemployed, miserable and
friendless, I should start over in a really
cool city
"I moved to San Francisco and
became friends with a guy who was
doing standup comedy. I had never seen
people my age doing standup; I had
only seen older comedians on TV. I was
blown away and decided to give it a try:'
That led to 10 years of standup,
including improv with Dana Carvey and
Robin Williams, and segued into writing
for performers and sitcoms. Miller has
written for comedians such as Jay Leno
and Jim Carrey, and his laugh lines have
been heard on shows including The New
Odd Couple, Different Strokes and The

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HAPPILY EVER AFTER
on page 44

February 12 • 2015

43

