>> Torah portion BIRMINGHAM MARTIAL ARTS BIRMINGHAM #1 Kids Martial Arts Program Kids Karate NOW ENROLLING Hey, That's Not Fair 2219 Cole Street Birmingam MI 48009 www.bmartialarts.com Parshat Yitro: Exodus 18:1-20:23; Isaiah 6:1-7:6; 9:5-9:6. 248 646-6608 1970330 M ommy, Ezra just said the F word:' The F word has long been banished from our home. Not the F word you might be thinking of (though that one is too!), I mean the word "fair:' No one on Earth can spot injustice faster than a child whose sibling got a larger piece of cake. Kids are masters at bearing witness to inequality "He got more juice than me:' "She got a longer bedtime story:' From children, we expect such complaints. Yet, as we grow older, if we aren't mindful of this mentality, the "f" word can sabotage our capacity for satisfac- tion and happiness. In this week's Torah portion, Yitro, we read the Ten Commandments. The 10th commandment says: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his donkey or anything that is thy neighbor's. Compared to "Thou shalt not mur- der" or "Thou shalt not steal; the last commandment may seem relatively harmless. Is desiring my neighbor's house or spouse really a crime? As long as I don't act upon these desires, what is the problem with it? Some of the traditional commen- taries say that the reason the Torah prohibits coveting is that it leads to the possible breaking of other com- mandments. The logic goes: If we want something that isn't ours, we will be tempted to steal it or break other commandments in order to obtain it. To my mind, however, there must be another reason for this to be a com- mandment in its own right. When we focus on what another has, we fail to appreciate what we our- selves have. Someone will always have a nicer house, more lucrative job or a more talented child. Another problem with comparing our lives to oth- ers is that it is impossible for us to make an accurate comparison; we always lack critical information about the other. We compare what we think others have to what we actually have and we come up short. Other people's status updates rarely include trips to the marriage counselor or the bankruptcy attorney. Color-coordinated family photos and soccer trophies are just a small snapshot into lives that may be filled with more tzuris than you could possibly imagine. Two thousand years ago, the Talmud taught us that the secret to happiness is not getting what we want, but want- ing what we have. Life isn't always going to be fair and the sooner we learn to accept this, the greater our capacity for happiness. There is a reason that the mezuzot that adorn our doorposts contain the word Shadai. Shadai is the name for God, which means "Enough:' Each time we walk through the doors of our homes, we are meant to look upon the mezuzah and remember that on the other side of our door lies "enough:' By focusing our attention on appre- ciating what we have, we create a sense of peace, satisfaction and joy — which, more than our neighbor's house, spouse or donkey, is probably what we truly covet. ❑ Rachel Shere is a rabbi at Adat Shalom Synagogue in Farmington Hills. Z■CCESS 1■ •1 V -V" R LI 1\1 CD IL_ CI GI 1( 24-Hour Computer Support Professional Web Design Social Media Marketing Call Today: 248-804-7005 I Web: accesscomptech.com "SP Alba Mt. lit ' / 10A P narOlo i c1S elA10 144 o 0f1 it 1111111%, 1971530 Ready to learn more about relapsing You and your loved one are invited to an MS LIVING EVENT. Hear from MS experts and others who are living with MS. Plus, get some answers about dealing with MS and information on an oral treatment. Bravo! Cucina Italiana, 17700 Haggerty Road, Livonia, MI 48152 Thursday, February 12, 2015 at 6:30 PM Eastern. EXPERT SPEAKERS Douglas Jeffery, MD, PhD Director of the Multiple Sclerosis Center Advance Neurology and Pain at Cornerstone Health Care, Advance, NC FYI A meal will be provided. Free parking or valet available. PLEASE RSVP AT mslivingevents.com or call 1-866-703-6293. Register today. Space is limited. Event ID: TR279553 (1202593) US.MS.MSX.14.03.017 1980890 February 5 • 2015 45