"FINISHED"

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ext week I turn 60 years old.
cell ring and proceeded to
I have to admit this birthday
put our TV clicker up to
has given me pause like no
my ear to answer it. Yikes.
other birthday milestone. 60? Really?
Thankfully, the conversa-
Please tell me I'm not that close to
tion didn't last long. The
qualifying for Social Security. At my last other day I was search-
ing for my cell phone ...
annual physical, my doctor told me to
add fiber to my diet and get a shingles
while I was talking on it!
shot. Are you kidding me?! Can yelling
During another cell phone search, I
at kids to get off my lawn and eating
dialed my cell number on our landline
dinner at 4:30 be far behind?
to help locate it. I not only found it, but
As if the stark reality of
I also forgot it was me calling and
entering my sixth decade
answered my own call! I even
wasn't hard enough, I'm
heard myself say "hells' to myself.
writing this column while
That ... is ... very ... very ... scary.
on vacation in Boca! Is
Truth be told though, despite all
the gravitational pull of
of this mishegas, I've really been
becoming a senior citizen
old beyond my years since birth.
Literally, from the moment I was
so strong that it drew
me to South Florida, the
born, I've been preoccupied with
epicenter of retirement,
aging, health issues and worried
where at least half the
about things usually reserved for
Alan
population is healing from
folks many years my senior. I recall
Muskovitz
some sort of procedure?
being in the delivery room when
Jewish News
And to rub salt in the
the doctor announced my birth,
Columnist
confirming to my mom and dad
wound — by the way,
I'm watching my sodium
that they were the proud parents
intake — I've spent the last few days going of a healthy, bouncing baby boy. Though
on exercise walks only to have 80-year-
just minutes old, I distinctly remembering
olds pass me!
wanting to request a second opinion.
Meanwhile, I'm more consumed with
To this day I'm sure I'm the only 8-year-
my gray matter than my gray hair —
old camper at Camp Tanuga to show up
what's left of it. Strange things have been
at the infirmary demanding a stress test.
happening. many involving my cell phone. While my high school classmates worried
Recently, while watching TV, I heard my
about their SATs and ACTs, I was fretting

JN CONTENTS

over my LDLs and HDLs. It's a burden.
So perhaps now you can understand
why I'm approaching my 60th birthday
with some trepidation. I'm sure once the
big "6-Oh" comes and goes next week I'll
calm down and realize that age is only
a number — you know, like my PSA
number, my glucose number, my doctor's
phone number, etc.
In the meantime, I'm going to make
every effort to repeat the following quote
by Winston Churchill that fits me to a T:
"When I look back on all these worries, I
remember the story of the old man who
said on his deathbed that he had had a
lot of trouble in his life, most of which had
never happened." Amen.
Well, that's it for now from my pre-60th
birthday vacation in Boca. Gotta go. I'm
meeting some friends to go mall walking
and then off to a class about reverse mort-
gages.

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Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting

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Feb. 5-11, 2015 I Shevat 16-22 5775 I Vol. CXLVII, No. 1

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Turning 60 - And All
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