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Forever Families

Detroiters welcome children into their lives
through international and domestic adoption.

Barbara Lewis I Contributing Writer

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

An experienced mother with two bio-
logical children, Jake, now 15, and Ava,
now 13, Must started by researching inter-
national adoption. She learned the wait to
adopt can be several years. Some countries
required more than one visit, and some
required adoptive parents to come for a
six-week stay. China required a stay of
only a couple of weeks, and the wait for a
child, especially one with special needs,
could be less than a year.
"'Special needs' can be something as
minor as a birthmark that is considered
unlucky in Chinese culture Must said.
In many other cases, the children wait-
ing to be adopted are misdiagnosed. Must
suspects some are listed as having special
needs so they'll be processed through the
system in China and adopted faster.
Must worked with an adoption agency
in San Francisco. When she received a
photo of a toddler named TianTian, she
fell in love.
"Her eyes just said, 'Come get me:" she
said. "I knew she was my daughter"
All that was known about the girl was
that she had been found abandoned on
a train as a toddler. Her file said she had
multiple health problems, but that report
turned out to be false.
TianTian was being cared for by a fos-
ter family. Although China discourages
contact between the adoptive and foster
parents while the adoption is in process,
Must wanted to learn all she could about
her daughter — and she wanted to prepare
TianTian for her new life in Michigan as
well as getting Jake and Ava ready for the
introduction of a new sibling.
An online friend who had adopted from
China discovered that her own child's fos-
ter mother knew TianTian's foster mother
(whom the girl called "China Mama"). The
foster mother agreed to be contacted, and
Must began sending her information and
gifts.
Through someone at General Motors,
Must connected with an auto executive in
Liuzhou, Guangxi, where TianTian lived.
The executive invited China Mama and
TianTian to her home so they could Skype
with Must and her children.
Meanwhile, Must, Jake and Ava watched
movies and read books to learn about
China, and made scrapbooks and cards
about America for TianTian. They studied

Cathy Eisenberg of Child & Parent

Services, a nonprofit private adoption
agency in Bingham Farms, with Marla
Must's "forever family" portraits on her

office wall

Mandarin and now their home is bilingual.
They especially wanted to be able to tell
TianTian "Don't be scared" when they met
her.
In summer 2010, Marla, Jake, then 10,
and Ava, then 8, went to China. On June
21, which they celebrate as Forever Family
Day, they finally met TianTian, age 3. The
family spent another three weeks in China,
then brought their new daughter and
sister — renamed Sasha Jade ChunTian —
home.
Marla and her children still have regular
email contact with Sasha Jade's foster fam-
ily.
Sasha Jade's adoption brought another
gift into Must's life: a reawakening of her
passion for photography. She took her
camera to China, after not using it for a
long time, to capture the budding relation-
ship among her children.
Her love of the art has developed into a
full-time business, where she specializes
in photos of children and families. She
recently built a new photography studio in
Birmingham. Must took all the photos for
this article.
She became acquainted with Cathy
Eisenberg, an adoptive mother, co-founder
and executive director of Child & Parent

Robyn and Mark Coden with Jaye, 5, and Frankie, 7

1111

Jason and Marla Golnick with Rayna, 11, and Ariel, 14

Services, a nonprofit private adoption
agency in Bingham Farms. Eisenberg's
agency did Must's home study, an essential
part of the adoption process.
"I sat in front of Cathy's wall during my
home study, worrying about a little girl
halfway around the world" Must said.
"Now, four years later, my artwork adorns
this very wall — and my daughter's image

is right in the middle. I'm honored to be
able to photograph the families built by
adoption who have also come through
Cathy's door with love in their hearts and
room in their lives:'
Many other local couples have adopted
internationally, including the Codens and
the Golnicks.
Robyn and Mark Coden of Beverly Hills

Forever Families on page 10

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November 13 • 2014