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Bloomfield Plaza - 6600 Telegraph Rd.
Bloomfield Twp., MI 48301
248-671-0087
www.mbjewelrydesign.com
end your questions to deardebra@renmedia.us or look
for an anonymous question submission form on Debra's
online column at www.thejewishnews.com .
Dear Debra,
We have dear friends
with whom we
enjoy many cultural
Debra Darvick
events. The downside
is they are always late. They arrive at
7:20 or 7:30 for 7 p.m. dinner reserva-
tions. Last week we were meeting at
the symphony. They arrived so late we
had to stand in the back until the first
selection was completed. They made
"standing room only" jokes until we
could be ushered to our seats.
I have tried fudging our time of
meeting so that even if late they
would arrive "on time." But then my
husband and I are still stuck waiting
for them.
We are planning on going away
with this couple over the winter, and
I just see one minefield after another:
getting to the airport and not miss-
ing our flight, showing up on time for
the excursions we've planned. Other
than be late or miss out on a fun trip,
what can I do to get them to see the
importance of being prompt?
— Timed Out
Dear Timed,
I'm all for waiting for Moshiach (the
Messiah) but waiting for perennial
latecomers is trying indeed.
That your friends are always late
and even joke about it tells me (and
should tell you) that they don't care
if they inconvenience you. What's
more, they have trained you and
your husband to accommodate their
rudeness!
Since it doesn't sound like you
want to drop this couple as friends,
realize that you can't change them,
but you can change your response.
Next concert, instead of waiting
in the lobby, go to your seats 10
minutes before curtain. If you have
dinner reservations for 7 p.m. and
they haven't shown up by 7:15, go
ahead and order your appetizers.
When it comes to the trip, play it
safe. Get to the airport under your
own steam. Arrange to meet the
friends at the gate. If they haven't
shown up by boarding time, board
the plane and take off.
Rebooking fees being what they
are, I imagine they'll make the plane.
As for the excursions — show up,
go and enjoy. Once you and your
husband have retrained yourselves
not to allow them to steal your time,
they may get the picture. Or at the
very least, a watch.
e m
roo
tho
WEDDINGS I SHOWERS I CORPORATE EVENTS
The Elm Room Banquet & Event Space
Accommodates up to 150 guests
events@thebirdandthebread.com
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210 South Old Woodward, Birmingham
theelmroom.com
38 November 2014
I RD TRIAD
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Dear Debra,
Last year, my wife's long-widowed
father moved to an independent living
facility. It was his idea and he has ad-
justed well. He recently introduced us
to his lady friend who is also a resident.
She is lovely; both my wife and Hike her
and are happy that they have hit it off.
Recently, however, we have begun
to hear a bit too much about how well
they are hitting it off. Whenever we are
together, my father-in-law can't help
but crow about his lady friend's physi-
cal attributes, how sexy she is ... They
are obviously intimate together, which
is, or should be, their business. My wife
and I are uncomfortable hearing about
it. We don't have to worry about unin-
tended pregnancies, but how do I get
him to zip his lip? It's embarrassing.
— Too Much Information
Dear TMI,
How fortunate for you and your wife
that her father was wise enough to
make a move under his own steam
and so successfully. That he has met a
companion adds a lovely new dimen-
sion to his life.
Next time the talk turns to events
best left under the covers, a simple,
"Dad, we're happy for you but that's
between you and your lady friend"
should suffice. If he starts up again
with the adolescent crowing, remind
him again. And again if you have to.
You didn't mention if lady friend is
present during these boast sessions.
Hopefully not. If he continues, you
or your wife will have to take him
aside and tell him in no uncertain
terms that you are not interested in
hearing the details of his intimate life.
Mention that you will excuse yourself
from the room should he start up
again with the play by plays.
Two cautions however — if your
father-in-law begins exhibiting other
out-of-character and/or inappropri-
ate behaviors, he may need to be
seen by a geriatric specialist to rule
out any developing neurological or
other health issues. And while preg-
nancy is not an issue, STDs are.
According to a New York Times ar-
ticle earlier this year, the incidence of
sexually transmitted diseases among
seniors is rising. It might be worth
mentioning to the facility's directors
that they make available a class, or
at the very least information, on safe
sex practices.
Debra Darvick shares her unique take on life, books
and more at debradarvick.com .