health & wellness Honesty Counts Home Care at the Highest Standard For Breast Cancer Awareness Month, survivor offers advice for support. A full service agency providing quality care for your loved ones. • Live-In or Hourly • No minimum hours • Complimentary Assessment • Ongoing Care Coordination • All employees are bonded & insured Caregivers Assist With: 'Medication Reminders 'Safety Monitoring 'Transportation Call Lynn Feinberg and Andy Roisman 'Bathing & Dressing 'Kosher Prepared Meals •Companionship (248) 594-4574 visit us online • arcadiahomecare.co 8 4r44t u 0 • Have no expectations or requirements for a response. "I'm often asked, 'What can I do to help?"' she says. "What I've suggested: Be in my life at my pace, let me take the lead; make your presence, avail- ability and support known, but do it without any expectations or require- ments for a response:' gL i ‘ The care you need to get you back to your life Marvin i t Dani /11/111 Norp, Family Health Care Center 6800 West Maple West Bloomfield, MI 48322 248.788.5300 Heartland= West Bloomfield 6950 Farmington Road West Bloomfield, MI 48322 248.661.1700 Experience Makes a Difference.° heartlandnursing.com 1311100 46 October 16 • 2014 S by about asking "What's the etiquette for supporting my loved one, friend or colleague in their battle against cancer?" many people simply avoid the question alto- gether — and offer nothing. "It's OK to wonder, and it's OK to ask. Be direct!" says Jane Schwartzberg of Montclair, N.J., who has been bat- tling stage 4 metastatic cancer for several years. She's the co-author with Marcy Tolkoff Levy of Naked Jane Bares All, which shares her story with candor and humor. Schwartzberg was a 31-year-old newlywed when she was first diag- nosed with breast cancer. She under- went treatment and eventually was declared cancer free. She moved on with her life, giving birth to two chil- dren and launching a technology com- pany. Then, at 42, the cancer returned. She's now 45. "I'm a fighter, and the support I've received from my family and friends has given me an immeasur- able amount of strength, without which I don't know what I would do:' Schwartzberg says. She offers these suggestions for sup- port: • Embrace their big dream, even if it doesn't sound realistic. During a very low point, Schwartzberg was asked by a friend: If you could have anything, swinging for the fences, what would help you get out of this pit? Without skipping a beat, she answered, "I want to take [comedian] Larry David out to lunch:' As impos- sible as it seemed, her friend encour- aged her to write to the co-creator of Seinfeld — and he accepted. As terrible as having terminal cancer is, there is that undeniable quality of embracing every moment, including asking your heroes out to lunch:' Schwartzberg says. "Cancer brings out the boldness in people, naked jape b es all a tale of triumph, travails & ta-tas "Jane Schwartzberg's attitude toward cancer is better than mine when I have a cold. This book moved me. Aargh• —LARRY DAVID ( Jane Schwartzberg & Marcy Tolkoff Levy which may entail a dream vacation to Hawaii. Don't be afraid to embrace their wishes:' • Don't hesitate to say, "You look beautiful;' when health has returned. After her chemotherapy treatments ended, Schwartzberg slowly started looking like her old self — healthy Jane, not cancer Jane. Part of reengag- ing with life is caring about the super- ficial things, at least to some extent. On the unforgettable day she met Larry David, the maitre d had before- hand told her that she looked beauti- ful, to which she responded, "You have no idea how much I appreciate that:' • Don't sugarcoat it. "If you want to really infuriate me, you'll tell me that this whole mess is beshert, Yiddish for 'meant to be' — that it's all part of a plan from a higher power," she says. "Maybe terminal cancer is part of some crazy plan, but I promise you that these are the last things I want to hear from anyone:' Don't try to put a positive spin on what's going on — in fact, it's more of a comfort to Jane when others acknowledge that her situation stinks and that she is looking at a life that's far different from, and likely to be shorter than, anything she'd imagined. ❑ For more on Schwartzberg's book, go to www.nakedjanebaresall.com .