frontlines

So You Think Elvis Was Offensive?

E

lvis Presley created quite a stir
naked dating couple, courted each other
in 1956 when he wiggled his
wearing fig leaves, VH-1 does insert
hips into our hearts for the first digitized effects to cover up the "bare"
time on network television. That CBS
essentials of each contestant. The epi-
insisted that E11111111vis only be shown
sode I watched, which included naked
from the waist up on the Ed Sullivan
participants bouncing along on water
Show is the stuff of myths. But I guar-
skis and riding all-terrain vehicles over
antee you the folks offended by the
an extremely bumpy trail, deserves an
King's gyrations then, and there were
Emmy for special effects. I'm betting the
many, would gladly welcome Elvis
cameraman ended up in a neck brace
back with open arms and jiggly hips,
trying to follow all the action.
over the choices we have on TV today.
One advantage to naked dating is
Allow me to introduce you to VH-l's
it gives folks like me who are better
new cable reality television show Dating
at recalling faces than names, several
Naked. Just when I thought I
more options to help jar my
memory. The problem: If
had seen it all with the TLC
network's Sex Sent Me to the
a love connection is made
ER comes the show featuring
on Dating Naked, how do
male and female contestants
contestants recognize each
paired up with two prospective
other on a second date in the
love interests on blind dates at
fully clothed world? Will it
a remote, exotic location, sans
now be necessary to ask for
clothes. Think The Bachelor
a girl's phone number and
meets Wild Kingdom.
her measurements?
The bottom line, forgive
I guess the premise is if you
lose your clothes, you'll lose
me, is the fact that VH-1 has
Alan
your inhibitions, which will
made it clear that they've
Muskovitz
make for a more relaxed dat-
not only thrown in the towel
Jewish News
ing experience. Let me be very
when it comes to develop-
Columnist
ing quality programming,
clear. There's only one way I
would ever agree to go on a
they're not even trying to
naked blind date and that would be that
wear the towel. I suppose I shouldn't be
my date would literally have to be blind.
surprised because it's the same channel
Legally blind — no ifs, ands or butts.
that brings us Basketball Wives, Celebrity
And if she weren't? It hurts to say this,
Rehab and RuPaul's Drag Show. It's the
but my naked date would probably end
continuing dumbing down of America.
up mentally dressing me.
At least I can fall back on the quality
While Adam and Eve, the original
shows still being offered by MTV like

R

Elvis Presley shaking his hips on the

Ed Sullivan Show, 1956

16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom and A Shot at
Love with Tila Tequila.
Look, I'm not a prude, and I'm not
suggesting that we need to go back to
the days of Ozzie and Harriet when
spouses slept in separate beds. However,
the reality is that reality TV is easier and
cheaper to produce, and Dating Naked
is literally and figuratively about as bare
bones as you can get.
A suggestion: Perhaps VH-1 can work
a little harder at coming up with some-
thing socially redeemable. Compromise
with something halfway between titillat-
ing and tasteful. Maybe a show about a
naked, aristocratic English family. We'll
call it Downton Flabby. It's a start.
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over tal-
ent and a regular guest host on the Mitch
Albom Show on WJR-AM 760. Visit his
website at laughwithbigal.com .

❑

For more on reality TV, see page 40.

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