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Conflict Revolution

Parshat Korach: Numbers 16:1-18:32;
I Samuel 11:14-12:22.

W by do we fight with the
ones we should love?
Is it inner angst that
we are unfairly firing? Do we feel so
defined by our opinions that we so
aggressively defend them? Is our self-
image so fragile that we
violently snap at the slight-
est offense?
Why do we embrace the
feud? Why have we sanc-
tioned settling for silent
treatment or agreed ani-
mosity?
Our subjective, rational-
izing minds make it near-
impossible to uncover our
own underlying motives.
But we do have a remark-
able case study of experts
in conflict resolution —
children.
Normal children fight. Yet, even
after the most convincing declaration
"I'm not your friend anymore a mere
few minutes later they are likely play-
ing the next game in each other's jolly
company.
How have children mastered the
most elusive skill of forgiveness? Their
young minds have yet to mature. They
are far from altruistic. Yet they roll
over — and get back to living — with
such agility.
Simply, children are more invested
in being happy than being right.
They are more keen to explore than
to bunker down in self-description.
Adulthood and tough experiences
often come with side effects of compli-
cated priorities, born from an injured
identity.
Korach was the antagonist arche-
type. He rallied against the deeply
beloved hero of a fledgling, inspired
nation. Moses was the most loving,
humble and devoted leader a people
could wish for. He had proven him-
self miraculously capable. Yet Korach
maniacally smeared him with the most

absurd accusations.
Korach was talented and wealthy. He
had plenty to be grateful for. He was
exceptionally smart and should have
known better. What drove him to such
depravity?
The Torah first introduces
us to him with "And Korach
took ..." What he took is not
clear. What is clear is that
he was on the take. He felt
entitled. He had boxed him-
self into a corner of expecta-
tions. His pride and greed
left him dissatisfied and
angry. The man of greatest
resources had become the
neediest. He was addicted
to having his ego stroked
and his every impulse fed.
Korach felt inadequate with-
out the constant crutch of glory.
In contrast, Moses was in touch with
his intrinsic worth. His healthy self-
respect allowed him to be humble. His
solid identity gave him the stamina
to be kind. Even as the target of the
vicious attacks, he tirelessly and
patiently attempted to mediate an end
to the suicidal campaign.
The Torah warns us not to join the
camp of Korach. Tragically, anger and
resentment continue to sacrifice our
dearest. Crazily, time and again, people
liquidate their greatest treasures in the
name of indignation.
There is nothing more divine than
unity. But if we can't be peaceful and
loving for the spiritual cause, let us at
least do it for the selfish kickbacks. We
will be happiest when we let go. We
feel secure when our main need is to
give. We will find serenity when we
make peace with imperfection.
The wisest of men was childish
enough to discover that true delight
lies outside of himself.

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June 19 • 2014

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