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Dear Debra
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Dear Debra:
I love to entertain, but
Debra Darvick
suddenly it seems all
of my friends have
dietary issues: gluten-free, dairy-free,
nut-free, carb- and sugar-free, red meat-
and fish-free. Some are kosher; some are
not. I would love to make some of my
favorite recipes at future dinner parties.
How do I satisfy all the different special
needs of my friends and still enjoy cook-
ing? Stewing Over Menus
G RI N ST E I N
JEWELRY DESIGN
www.grinsteinjewelry.com
162 South Old Woodward, Birmingham Ml 248-647-4414
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Dear Stewing:
Cooking is a great creative outlet.
There are so many innovations going
on in the food world. Why not use your
friends'dietary issues to explore new
cookbooks? Come up with some new
favorites so you can begin entertaining
again with gusto.
You can also try substituting ingre-
dients in some of the old favorites.
Or perhaps invite the gluten- and
dairy-frees to one dinner party and
the meat- and fish-and nut-frees to
another. Guests who keep kosher
could certainly attend either dinner. As
for those well-loved recipes, if none of
your friends can eat them, you might
just have to enjoy these dishes with
your husband or a few select couples
who are restriction-free.
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THREIID
Dear Debra:
I am an avid cook and spend a lot of time
in my kitchen, which seriously needs an
overhaul. My husband and I set aside
some money; we know a good designer/
renovator. lam tired of complaining
about lack of counter space, etc. My
friends and family encourage me to go
forward, but I cannot pull the trigger. I
am daunted by all the decisions and with
spending all that money. Help! Losing
My Appetite for Renovation
—
Dear Losing:
I hear you. It's a chunk of change, a
huge mess, and once they rip out your
countertops there's no going back.
Not to mention pulls versus knobs and
honed or polished countertop finishes.
Make a hate list. Yep, list everything
you hate about your kitchen. Minimal
food prep space? Dishwasher 50 paces
from the cabinets? Avocado green
cabinets? On second thought, keep
the cabs; mid-century modern is all the
rage. With your hate list in hand, start
researching solutions.That should get
you drooling over the possibilities. And
that is where your designer comes
in — to take at least some of the crazy
out of the decision-making process.
As for the expenditure. You are an
avid cook. Think how much more
avid you would be in a kitchen that
works with you instead of against you.
Anyone who spends a lot of time in
her, or his, kitchen deserves a space
that maximizes all those great culinary
skills.Think of the cost in terms of your
wasted energy, inefficiency and the
drag of working in a dreary space.
Take the plunge and create a kitchen
that you will revel in for years to come.
Dear Debra:
Every time my daughter is with her future
mother-in-law, the woman criticizes the
way my daughter dresses. Nothing is out
of place or inappropriate; my daughter
has beautiful taste. At her bridal shower
last weekend, the woman again criti-
cized what my daughter was wearing —
a lovely dress, tights, nice leather boots.
Other than telling the woman to shut
up, what can my daughter do? — Every
Hair in Place
Dear Every:
Telling one's future mother-in-law to
zip her lip would further unravel a
relationship that has already gotten
off to bad footing. Nevertheless, your
daughter certainly has the right to ex-
pect respect from her fiance's mother.
The woman seems to have serious tact
and boundary issues.
Your daughter needs some quick
responses in her quiver. When future
mother-in-law pipes up with criticism,
your daughter can simply say,"Thank
you, Marge,"and then change the
subject. She can also tell her fiance
to make clear to his mother that such
criticism is off limits. Or she can be
proactive. Next time they are together,
your daughter can pre-empt any criti-
cism by first complimenting her future
mother-in-law on how beautiful she
looks. I know the words might stick
in her throat, but since your daughter
dresses well, she probably has great
necklaces or scarves to hide any rising
gorge.
If all else fails, your daughter is going
to have to be blunt, as in "Marge, every
time you criticize the way I dress, I like
you less and less and want to limit our
time together. Please think about that
if you want to be a part of our lives
once Jared and I marry'
Debra Darvick shares her unique take on life, books
and more at debradarvick.com.
www.redthreadmagazine.com