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THE CENTER
12 .ay 15 • 2014
Jewish Community Center of Metropolitan Detroit
D. Dan & Betty Kahn Building
Eugene & Marcia Applebaum Jewish Community Campus
6600 W. Maple Road, West Bloomfield, MI 48322
www.jccdet.org
JK
The Jewish Federation
OF METROPOLITAN DETROIT
Teens from page 10
vodka, or adding liquor to soda pop cans
or energy drinks. One way to circumvent
this is to forbid kids from bringing outside
beverages into your home. Tell the kids
you will provide beverages for their friends
during parties or other get-togethers, and
do not be afraid to check purses and back-
packs so the teens know you are serious.
One Oakland County mom who
employed this method was shocked to
learn her son and his friends had hidden
vodka-filled water bottles throughout the
house the week before a scheduled party.
Another mother found marijuana hid-
den in the removable ceiling tiles of the
basement. Excessive use of breath mints,
cologne or air freshener may also be a sign
of marijuana or cigarette smoking.
Lying about their whereabouts is also
common among teenagers. If your daugh-
ter says she is spending the night at Sarah's
house after a party, call Sarah's mother to
confirm, and ask her to tell you if your
daughter seems to be high or drunk.
Successful Strategies
"Teens don't respond to scare tactics:' said
Kaplan, adding that telling cautionary tales
about troubles that befell other teenagers
is usually not effective.
Walton agrees, saying many teens have
an "invincibility syndrome" that allows
them to believe they are immune from
consequences, legal or otherwise.
Kaplan suggests negotiating a written
contract with teens that outlines the rules
regarding drugs and alcohol, including the
consequences for disobeying.
"If you are hosting a party, the contract
should state that no alcohol or drugs are
allowed, and that if anyone brings it in, the
parents will be notified," she said. 'And let
the kids determine the consequences"
Communicating with children and
teens about drug and alcohol use is rec-
ommended by experts from all areas of
the field. Parents should not assume kids
know how they feel; it is important to be
clear and specific about rules and expecta-
tions.
The importance of parental involvement
was proven by a 2010 survey of teens in
the West Bloomfield school district that
showed the No. 1 reason teens abstained
from drugs and alcohol was to avoid paren-
tal disapproval; this was more important
than their friends' opinions or the per-
ceived risks of drinking and drug use.
Networking with other like-minded
parents can provide support and help
adults stay informed about what is going
on with their kids. If the teens are friends,
spending time with families who share
your values can eliminate dealing with
situations where a teen wants to visit
households that allow behavior that yours
does not tolerate.
Kaplan reminds parents not to judge
other parents or criticize them in front of
your teen; simply explain that every family
has its own way of doing things.
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