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May 08, 2014 - Image 57

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2014-05-08

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

out different snot-drenched boys in
thing I now regret. My mother put a
the carpool lane at my school, insisting lot of effort into screening potential
that they were meant for me." No mat- sons-in-law, and all I did was roll my
ter that at the time, Ament believed
eyes at her."
boys had cooties and by the time she
Ament doesn't worry about perpetu-
liked boys, they were "rarely of the
ating stereotypes with her book.
Semitic kind."
"I don't think as a culture we should
That didn't stop her mom from
ever be scared to talk about ourselves,
declaring that the fictional Seth Cohen
to talk about our identity, but I do think
from the TV series The 0.C. would be
we should be careful about how we talk
her match. "I swear, if that guy wasn't
about it, and talk about it in a very full,
designed by God Himself to be your
multidimensional way:' she tells JNS.org .
soul mate, then I don't
While Jewish moth-
know who was:' Ament
ers in the past were often
writes.
ridiculed and demonized,
Yet after meeting a
Ament says the writers
Jewish guy at a "Matzah
in her book portray their
Ball" dance who was
moms "in a very loving,
THE
ready on a first date
heartfelt, affectionate way."
JEWI
to bring her home to
Not all the essays focus
AUGH
DIAR
meet his mother, Ament
on mothers. Sometimes
texted her own mother
it's a grandmother, such
to say she was ready to
as blogger Almie Rose's
meet Seth.
5-foot-1, feisty Oma, a
"I figured that even
Holocaust survivor and
fictional characters from
"slip of a thing" who was
Fox TV programs would be more
"bawdy, blunt" and sarcastic.
promising than the eligible young
"But on the opposite side of that
men you meet at the Matzah Ball:' she
fire and sarcasm was a fierce love for
writes.
her children and grandchildren:' Rose
Among Ament's favorite essays is
writes. "Oma's love was immense and
one by Lauren Greenberg, who wrote
unconditional."
for Whitney Cummings's Love You,
Then there's Kerry Cohen, a child of
Mean It talk show on the E! network.
bitter divorce, who looks to her grand-
When Greenberg turned 30, her
mother as a model for relationships.
mother created a JDate profile for her.
"My grandmother could teach me
"Why would I want to date some
things when it came to men:' writes
guy who hung around to talk to a girl's
Cohen, whose books include Loose
mother?" Greenberg writes. "Like, I'd
Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity.
be all, 'Glad you and my mom hit it
"It wasn't just because she'd been
off. Let's make out!' Ew. No. Ew."
married for 57 years to a man who
She didn't follow up with any of the
adored her until the end. It's that her
men her mother had prescreened,
standards were so much higher than
although she concedes that it is "some- mine:"

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West Bloomfield and serves on
the overriding theme of being toler-
several committees of the Jewish
ant and respectful and laughing a lot
Federation of Metropolitan Detroit.
in the process."
"Hopefully there's something
Heuer stresses that many Jewish
relatable for young and old with a
mothers in contemporary society
message that's somewhat poignant.
have become helicopter parents (a
Along the way, readers will experi-
nondenominational description
ence a bit of the history
of many non-Jewish
of Jewish Detroit."
parents
as well) while
Beer and Whine
Heuer tells about
maintaining the uncon-
both of her marriages,
ditional love, aspirations
her grown children as
for their children's suc-
well as stepchildren,
cess and worries long
and grandchildren. She
associated with Jewish
explains how her sec-
mothers.
ond husband converted
While the memoir
to Judaism.
is available through
"I really wanted to
Amazon and ibooks,
write a screenplay about
it has found its stron-
mixed marriages:' she
gest customer base at
says. "When my kids were little,
Sundance Shoes in West Bloomfield.
there were so many mixed families
"While the book is meant to be
in their schools.
funny," Heuer says, "I still hope it
"Ultimately, I wrote the book with
pulls at people's heartstrings."

by Betsy Bei der Heuer

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1915250

May 8 • 2014

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