The Craz
Season

A

rguably one of the worst seasons of weather is
times when I'm extremely lonely and crave a little attention
finally behind us! Yay! However, just as my sea-
and hearing that sincere voice talking just to me, well, it's ... it's
sonal disorder symptoms were finally subsiding,
comforting. Is that so wrong?
comes a new season that already has me suffering another
So what is the electorate to do? If we can't learn the truth
round of involuntary twitching ... the Election Season!
about people running for office from their campaign ads, how
The negative campaign ads for the midterm races are in full
can we possibly make an educated decision about who to vote
bloom, and they are as insulting and laughable as ever; which
for? Well, simply do what I do. I vote for the candidate with
is why I had so much fun writing political ad parodies for 18
the most lawn signs. It's really early in Michigan's senate and
years on the Dick Purtan Show.
gubernatorial campaigns, but so far in my district,
Last week, the Supreme Court took up the issue
"Garage Sale" is leading in the polls.
of truth in advertising in political ads. Fifteen states
Stop the insanity, you say? Wait, there's more! To
already have laws banning lying about political
add insult to injury to this discussion is the fact that
candidates, but the court is being asked to decide
the only broadcast award I ever received during my
whether that's unconstitutional. As hard as it is to
career on the Dick Purtan Show was presented to
believe, at stake is whether lying in campaign com-
me by the Michigan Association of Broadcasters for
mercials is a right protected by free speech. Wow!
"Best in Category" It was for a political campaign
As much as I would love there to be more account-
commercial I wrote for a fictitious candidate! My
ability; having politicians creating laws to enforce
character, Dave Peterson, ran against incumbent
Jennifer Granholm for governor. During speeches I
the truth is about as smart as me being hired as a
Alan
Weight Watchers leader.
made statements like "if this election lasts more than
Muskovitz
Further, and I hope this doesn't come off as too
four hours, go straight to the hospital." But perhaps
Jewish News
harsh, but if you rely on campaign commercials to
the piece de resistance was how I referred to Gov.
Columnist
Granholm in the slogan I created for my campaign
decide who to vote for — you should immediately
have your right to vote revoked. As soon as political
commercial which was: "I'll give it my heart and soul,
ads come on TV, I turn the channel and watch something more
even more than that woman with the mole."
educational, like Keeping up with the Kardashians or one of my
Yes, I really did say that about our incumbent governor, and
new favorite cable TV shows — Sex Sent Me to the ER. (It's on
I won an award for it. If that isn't enough reason to banish free-
TLC if you don't believe me)
dom of speech altogether, I don't what is.
Although I've totally sworn off relying on radio and TV polit-
God bless you, and God bless America!
ical ads to learn about candidates, I'm embarrassed to admit
that I do have a weakness for those pre-recorded "robo-calls" I
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker, emcee
get from campaigns. Don't misunderstand, I don't rely on them
and a regular guest host on the Mitch Albom Show on WJR AM 760.
to become informed. I listen to them because, well, there are
Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com and "Like" Al on Facebook.

❑

JN CONTENTS

theJEWISHNEWS.com

May 1-7, 2014 I 1-7 Iyar 5774 I Vol. CXLV, No. 13

Around Town
30
Arts/Entertainment
45
32
Calendar
Food
52
Here's To
22
Israel ...1, 14, 37, 39, 45,
46, 52, 65
JN Archives
6
Life Cycles
55
Marketplace
58
Metro
8
Next Generation
42
Obituaries
63

Out & About
47
Out To Eat
35
Points Of View
38
44
Sports
Staff Box/Phone List... 6
Synagogue List
40
Torah Portion
41
World
37

Columnists

Danny Raskin
Robert Sklar

54
38

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Shabbat Lights

Shabbat: Friday, May 2, 8:15 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, May 3, 9:22 p.m.

Shabbat: Friday, May 9, 8:23 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, May 10, 9:31 p.m.

Times are from Yeshiva Beth Yehudah calendar.

Cover page design: Michelle Sheridan.

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BENEFITTiNG CHILDREN MTH INSABI,ITIES.

Calling All
Kid Artists!

JARC hosts "Super
Hero" art contest.

j

ARC, an organization

serving men, women and
children with disabili-
ties, is hosting its second annual
art contest for students grades
preK-8 in honor of its upcoming
SpringElation fundraising event.
The contest is open to the public.
Participants are asked to submit an
81/2 by 11 piece of paper displaying
their artistic interpretation of the
theme "Who's Your Super Hero?"
Artwork can be created with any
colorful medium including markers,
crayons, watercolors, pencils and/or
paper collage (no glitter or confetti).
All entries must be received
at the JARC offices by 5 p.m. on
Friday, May 16, and can be mailed
directly to JARC or dropped off
from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Friday
at 30301 Northwestern Highway,
#100, Farmington Hills, MI. 48334.
Entries will be judged in four
categories: pre-kindergarten, kin-
dergarten through second grade,
third grade through fifth grade, and
sixth grade through eighth grade.
Winners will be announced at
JARC's SpringElation event at the
Detroit Zoo on Wednesday, May 28.
The grand prize winner will receive
a $100 gift card, and one honorable
mention winner from each age cat-
egory will receive a $25 gift card.
For details and for entry form,
www.jarc.org/jarc-events or call
(248) 488-7524.
JARC's 16th annual SpringElation
fundraising event features an all-
inclusive, private evening at the
zoo. This family community event
benefits hundreds of children
with disabilities, including autism,
developmental delays and physi-
cal and emotional disabilities, and
their families.
JARC's services for children with
disabilities include in-home respite
by trained caregivers, social oppor-
tunities for teens, and advocacy
with schools and agencies on behalf
of families.
Ticket cost for SpringElation is
$25 per guest (children under 2
are free). For more information,
to purchase tickets or learn more
about sponsorship opportunities,
visit www.jarc.org/jarc-events or
call (248) 538-6611.

❑

May 1 • 2014

3