family focus

True Grit: The
Secret To Success

I

Children learn self control by
was talking to a group of 10th-
grade girls at a local high school
watching their parents. Parents with
the other day, and I asked them
little self-control regularly act on
what they thought was the most
feelings of anger or frustration, and
important factor for a successful
unwittingly teach their children to
life. Their answers included power,
do the same. Parents who are able
money and education. How would
to manage their own impulses and
you answer?
soothe their emotions are
more likely to help their
As adults, we might add
something about good
children to do the same,
health or family or rela-
which results in self-con-
tionships. Recent studies
trol. This is the founda-
reveal that these things are
tion of grittiness.
often byproducts of the
When we are frustrated
real key to success: grit.
or disappointed, grittiness
What is grit? Grit is
demands that we continue
the ability to persevere
to move toward our goal.
We learn this from the
through tremendous dif-
Ellen
ficulty, the tenacity to
encouragement of those
Yashinsky
not give up. Grit is about
who support us as we are
Chute
long-term goals. It keeps
growing up. When we
LMSW, ACSW
us from getting discour-
fail or become discour-
aged when the going gets
aged, important people in
really tough, when we are exhausted
our lives tell us to try again — and
or when life is not fair. Grit keeps
again.
our eyes focused on our objectives,
Parents, teachers, coaches or boss-
not on the obstacles on the way. Grit
es who allow us to learn and grow
from our mistakes and failures help
expects obstacles.
Kids and adults with grit are not
us to learn to expect obstacles and
necessarily smarter or more talented. realize that we have the strength to
They are simply more determined.
overcome them.
They believe that if they try hard
Sometimes, in our attempts to
enough and learn what they need to,
help our children, we focus on their
they will succeed.
successes and deprive them of these
Carol Dweck is a professor of psy-
important opportunities to know
their strength through surviving dif-
chology at Stanford University. She
has labeled this way of thinking as
ficulty and learning that they have
the growth mindset, which is closely
the grit to continue toward their
tied to grit. This approach stands in
goal.
contrast to a fixed mindset, which is
In May and June, we honor grit.
based on the belief that we are lim-
Although we may use different
ited by our own personal resources,
words, Mother's Day and Father's
such as IQ, skills or innate ability.
Day are our ways of thanking our
parents for their grittiness. We thank
Angela Lee Duckworth, a psychol-
ogy professor at the University of
them for not giving up on us when
Pennsylvania, is exploring similar
we wanted to give up on ourselves.
questions of success and character
We thank them for tolerating us
through her research facility, the
through the years of temper tan-
Duckworth Lab. Her research has
trums, backtalk and general disre-
identified grit and self-control as
spect. We thank them for keeping
two essential traits of successful
their eyes on the prize and persever-
ing — for not giving in to the lesser
people.
I believe that grit rests on self-
parts of us; for their vigilant stew-
control; that to remain optimistic,
ardship of our growing-up. That is
grit.
to muster the energy when we feel
depleted, we must be able to quiet
Ellen Yashinsky Chute is the chief
our feelings of frustration, hopeless-
community outreach officer at Jewish
ness or despair through self-control.
Family Service of Metropolitan Detroit,
This raises particular questions
an adjunct professor at the University
for parents: How do we exercise
of Michigan School of Social Work and
self-control to develop grit within
director of the Jewish Coalition against
ourselves and teach those skills to
Domestic Abuse.
our children?

ST. JOSEPH MERCY
VIP OAKLAND

SAINT JOSEPH MERCY HEALTH SYSTEM

-

A Smarter Approach to Care`"

St. Joseph Mercy Oakland is the hospital of the future...today!

Our new South Patient Tower is a contemporary-styled, eight-story

patient facility featuring:

204 all private rooms outfitted with the advanced

Intelligent Care System technology

Hotel-style amenities, including a spacious lobby with fireplace

and inviting seating areas

Climate-controlled pedestrian walkways

Healing arts program supported exclusively by Michigan artists

The newly constructed South Patient Tower represents a new day

for St. Joseph Mercy Oakland. The new environment combines

our commitment to medical excellence, improved patient safety

and clinical quality with a dedication to caring for the whole

patient—body, mind and spirit. For St. Joe's, it's all about creating

a healing environment to achieve the very best outcomes for our

patients and their families.

Please Join Us

Open House April 26, 2014 11 to 4 p.m.

❑

To learn more about the new South Patient Tower,
visit stjoesoakland.org/newsouthtower

JN

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April 17 • 2014

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