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April 10, 2014 - Image 18

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2014-04-10

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18 April 10 • 2014

I Barbara Lewis

Contributing Writer

M

olested, raped, beaten.
By the time she was
30, Bari Beckett had
endured more abuse than most
women will ever know in a life-
time. Instead of letting it limit
her, she decided to take control
and create a better life for herself
and her young daughters.
After teaching herself how to
set and achieve goals logically,
Beckett is now working to help
other women do the same thing.
Beckett, 52, of Birmingham,
was in third grade when she
was molested by the teacher in
an art class. As a teen, she liked
to show-jump horses — until a
trainer raped her and then called
her a "dirty Jew."
Bad Beckett will share her "skilled
Beckett moved on, but she
logic" system to help others create bet-
didn't deal with these traumas
ter lives for themselves.
until much later, not realizing the
psychological toll they were tak-
ing.
The Skokie, Ill., native earned
a fitness video, but it didn't work
a bachelor's degree in communica-
out. To provide more stability for
tions at California State University
her family and to learn from pro-
in Sacramento and then came to
gressive, dynamic business leaders,
Michigan for her job with Landmark
she became a mortgage banker with
Worldwide, a provider of personal
Quicken Loans. She's been there
development programs.
more than 12 years.
She married twice and divorced
At Quicken she became a role
twice, and had a daughter with each
model and coach for other women.
husband.
"Bari is filled with positive energy,
Her first husband, whose last
authenticity and love for people
name she still uses, was a good man,
said Kristin Angel, an administrator
she said. "He was fabulous. But I
for Lansing Community College who
didn't feel fabulous about myself,"
benefited from Beckett's coaching
she said. "When you don't feel good
when she worked at Quicken Loans.
about yourself, you push good peo-
"Bari chose to not see barriers and
ple away."
instead chose to focus on the path
Her second husband had mental
to success; she achieved amazing
health problems and abused her
success and was willing to show me
physically. "When I left him, I start-
the way. She balances empathy with
ed my own journey:' she said. At the
logic, leads by example and coaches
time, "I didn't know who I was."
with a firmness that demands that
That was 20 years ago. Beckett's
those under her wing never lose
daughters, Hayley, 26, and Allie, 23,
sight of the path to success. She has
were still very young. She wanted to
a confidence in people that is conta-
protect them as well as herself.
gious."
She went to Jewish Family Service
Improving Her Life
for family therapy. And she started
Beckett moved to Waterford and
reading everything she could find
about self-esteem.
bought her first house. And she kept
She had been working as a person- reading and learning.
al trainer and waitress and living in
"I used every resource I could get
my hands on to improve my life she
an apartment, but "I wanted some-
thing better for my kids," she said.
said.
She tried creating and marketing
As women, we're not taught how

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