frontlines A Purim Spiel T with calories he Purim story has all the qualities of a great novel — a delicious plot that has romance, sus- pense, a hint of murder, karma and some awe- some characters. Just like breakfast starts the day, King Achashverosh starts the story. He's a bit of a flake and often had his underlings Quaker-ing with fear. He ends the Life of his wife Vashti and needs a new one to feel Cheerio again. (Esther gets the most Chex so he chooses her to be his new Honey Bunches of Oats). Achashverosh supports his No. 1 adviser in his quest to stamp out all the Jews to a Krispie, not knowing that his honey-nut in the castle is one. Ultimately, he arranges for Haman to be hanged (his neck went snap, crackle and pop!) Esther is a tall glass of something cool and refreshing, though her new husband doesn't know what's in- cider head. He gives her half his A, -.V kingdom — quite a Power(ade) trip — but still she remains cor- dial and doesn't share that she's a (Mountain) Dew. It's hard to keep her spirits (7-)up when there's a death sentence on her people. She eventually cola- berates with her Uncle Mordechai who suggests she might beer in the castle to stop this calama-tea from happening. She risks her life so-da Jews may live and, ultimately, it all turns out grape and everyone is spilling over with joy. Haman's like a moldy fruit. He is papa(ya) to 10 sons and will be happy if the Jews, particularly a certain man-go to his death. He has a berry rotten plan that he spreads via the grapevine, which causes all the Jews to say, 'Oh, my Gourd!' When invited to the queen's party, Haman feels just peachy, until the Queen reveals she is Jewish and everything goes pear-shaped. Then he's really in a pickle. There are some great just-desserts and raspberry twists. Ultimately, the Purim story is a miracle for every Jewish bean — both human and jelly. We celebrate every year by throw- ing Hershey's kisses to each other, dancing, singing 'Halvah Nagillah Halvah and listening to the Megillah — truly an Everlasting Gobstopper! Have a scrumptious Purim! ❑ Roche) Burstyn lives in Southfield and recently released her first book for teens, "Choices — an - ' \ Assortment of Delicious Stories About Life's \iirmium -4.1.1116 "- Challenges" (Torah Temimah), available at amazon.com and Spitzer's in Southfield and 1 ,61 141"232 Borensteins in Oak Park. 0cznIalLS1 ,o reet ,, 0Inlef vt3120 ,0w (ers al1104 0 Photo Gallery Videos Blogs Letters Community Calendar JN CONTENTS cheJEWISHNEWS.com March 13 - 19, 2014 I 11 - 17 Adar II 5774 Around Town 24 Arts/Entertainment .. 55 41 Business 42 Business Memos Calendar 34 Community 40 Dining Around the D ..32 Food 60 Home 51 Israel 5, 31, 38, 39, 44, 56, 58 JN Archives 6 Jews in the Digital Age.18 Letters 5 Life Cycles 65 Marketplace 67 I Vol. CXLV, No. 6 Metro 8 Next Generation 50 Obituaries 74 Out & About 57 Points Of View 44 Spirituality 46 Sports 63 Staff Box/Phone List... 6 Synagogue List 48 Torah Portion 49 World 38 Columnists Danny Raskin Robert Sklar 62 45 Our JN Mission The Jewish News aspires to communicate news and opinion that's useful, engaging, enjoyable and unique. 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