What Scares You?
Oak Park teen's essay is a winner.
a il
R
uthie Klein, 15, of Oak Park,
recently won an international
teen writing contest spon-
sored by StageofLife.com . The daugh-
ter of John and Susanna Klein, and a
student at the Beth Jacob high school
for girls in Oak Park, Ruthie answered
the question: "What Scares You?"
with her essay, "I Am Scared of Dying
Without Having Made an Impact"
More than 160 students submitted
essays. The contest runs monthly with
a different topic each month.
"I don't pride myself on my fear-
lessness; I'm practically afraid of
everything" Ruthie said. "The feeling
of futility is one of my most preva-
lent fears because it means I haven't
accomplished my dreams. I am still
anxious about tomorrow and what it
will bring, but being able to write it
down in essay format and having suc-
cessful people approach me and relate
how they felt 'exactly the same' as a
teenager is a comfort to me"
Ruthie hopes to become a patholo-
gist one day. Her hobbies include act-
ing in comedic roles, reading, travel-
ing, baking experimental dessert reci-
pes and "writing for hours at a time
"My first story was about an orphaned
mouse and the angry bear who adopted
him," she said. "Since then, my story
material has matured. Writing is think-
ing, interpretation, inspiration; it's an art
that I'm just beginning to discover." ❑
'I Am Scared Of Dying Without
Having Made An Impact'
Ruthie Klein
T
here are two different kinds
of fear.
The body's reaction to
perceived threat is instinctive, physi-
cal, mind-numbing, intensely panicked
terror. I won't deny that I often fall prey
to the natural fright of this
category; between my fear of
spiders, sharks and aspara-
gus, I think I'm covered.
But there's also an aching
psychological fear that affects
me far more profoundly. It is
deeply rooted in my actions
and decisions, and I am
extremely conscious of its influence on
my everyday life.
You see, I'm not afraid of messing
up on the SATs or being waitlisted by
the University of Chicago. I certainly
wouldn't mind getting a 2400, and I'd
love to attend a good university, but
these things don't strike me as incred-
ibly important anymore. One must
define success on his own, and I have.
To me, success is making an impact.
I want to teach and inspire. I want
to help rid the world of racism and
prejudice. I want to travel around the
world to places where natural disasters
have wreaked havoc and spark hope in
their devastated inhabitants. I want to
make people feel like their lives mean
something. I want to be a volunteer
EMT or be involved with a program
like Doctors Without Borders.
But, let's get real: I want far too
much.
Occasionally, I wake up at night
and my mind throbs with plans and
strategies. Then I shut my eyes for
just one moment, and I am thrust
into a dark, fearful place. "Fear" is
not completely accurate; the place I
go is more comparable to a live, flesh-
eating monster.
My brain is constantly
working, creating, concoct-
ing. Yet if I achieve none of
these propositions, I have not
actually affected the world in
any significant manner.
I can hope to cure cancer,
and I'd love to write a book
that changes millions of lives.
But meanwhile, my small actions
— tutoring someone for an hour,
lending out my notes, even doing a
load of laundry because my mother
is exhausted — help combat my
ever-growing fear that I won't have
accomplished anything monumental.
For now, I'll go on existing. I'll
wake up each morning and go
to school. Hopefully, though, the
deeds I do and the things I say will
impact people in a positive way. I
believe I will make more of a dif-
ference through practical charity
than accolades to my virtue. I can
try to immortalize myself by doing
thoughtful and influential things
that affect the good of the world on
a whole.
I don't need to start by changing
the world. I can change my behavior
toward other people, until changing
the world is the same thing. ❑
a' I
;
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December 19 • 2013 19