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BIRMINGHAM

Dear Debra

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ot a problem? Need some advice? Write to Debra at
deardebra@renmedia.us and look for your answer in
next month's Red Thread.

■

Dear Debra: My
husband and I
have been married for 60 years, and
recently it seems as if he's getting very
forgetful. I'm afraid this is the begin-
ning of Alzheimer's. He refuses to go
to a doctor for tests. My children say
they don't see any change in their
father and refuse to help me talk to
him. What can I do? Worried for my
Hubby

Debra Darvick

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Prepared Foods • Live Entertainment • Annuals & Perennials

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Dear Debra: My eldest nephew is get-
ting married to an absolutely lovely
gal. We just learned that our second
child is due a few days before the wed-
ding, making the trip to attend out of
the question. I am trying to think of an
appropriate way to break the news to
them, and I thought you may be able
to help. Sibling in the South

HMV AM I 11

TRUNK SHOW

OCT

18 — 19

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Haute Couture

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Dear Worried:
You didn't say what your husband is
forgetting, whether it's the old go-
ing to the basement to get some-
thing and forgetting why he was
there, or if he is forgetting impor-
tant touchstones in your lives, not
recognizing people or the purpose
of items around the house, or creat-
ing situations that could endanger
one or both of you.
The Alzheimer's Organization (alz.
org ), has a checklist of 10 signs that
can help you determine whether
you should take it to the next step.
Perhaps schedule a regular check-
up for your husband, prepping his
physician beforehand that you'd
like him/her to be on the lookout
for signs and/or symptoms of the
disease. The organization's national
hotline (800) 272-3900 takes calls
24/7 and has staff on hand to guide
you to a course of action.

_

imam' - 248.723.4300 -

ROMASPOSA.COM

Dear Sibling:
Congratulations on both your
pregnancy and your nephew's
nuptials. The best way to break
difficult news is simply and cleanly.
Such as,"Nephew, I have wonderful
news to share. Husband and I are
expecting. And here's the downside
of our wonderful news. I am due
mere days before your wedding and
won't be able to make the trip. I am
so sorry, as there is nothing I would

love more than to [choose your
own adventure here, Sib]: dance
at your wedding, see you and your
lovely bride beneath the chuppah,
celebrate with the family, etc.
Surely your nephew will under-
stand. There might be a way for you
to be Skyped in for the ceremony.
Be sure your nephew knows that
the next time the family is together
you want to carve out some special
time with him and his bride. Maybe
you'll go into labor on the actual
wedding date, making for a bit of
family lore. And what better way to
take your mind off the contractions
than to watch the couple say their"!
do's"? Or in this case, perhaps, their
do-di li's. (My beloved is mine.)

Now, A True Confession ...
Dear Readers: When the above let-
ter from Sibling in the South arrived
via the Jewish News editorial office, I
thought it was fairly easy to answer,
as our family had just been in this
situation. Coincidentally, our son
Elliot and his dear fiancee, Elizabeth,
are getting married in March, and
his closest friend from childhood
was pregnant and would be unable
to attend. So, I answered Sibling in
the South with confidence, nary a
shade curious over the coincidence.
Well, maybe you can call me "Duh
Debra" instead of"Dear Debra"for
a moment. I completely missed the
boat. The Sibling in the South is actu-
ally my own sister!
Yep. My youngest sister, Abby,
who lives in Florida, thought it
would be a great way to tell me
the happy news that I'm going to
be an aunt again — as well as the
bittersweet news that she and my
brother-in-law won't be at Elliot and
Elizabeth's wedding.
So, Sis, maybe we will indeed Skype
in you and your husband, Brian, for
the festivities. And if you do go into
labor while Elliot and Elizabeth are
reciting their vows, we'll take a mo-
ment and breathe with you. RT

Debra Darvick is the author of This Jewish

Life: Stories of Discovery, Connection and

Joy and I love Jewish faces. She shares

her unique take on life, books and more at

debradarvick.com .

r

30 October 2013 I

RED THRUM

www.redthreadmagazine.com