metr >> family counseling • XFINITY HOME SECURITY • CONTROL • ENERGY You can't always be at home — but you never have to be far from it. Look after your home, family and valuables from anywhere. W • Get peace of mind with a secure network and 24/7 professional monitoring. Arm and disarm your system on the go. Even get remote video monitoring and real-time text and email alerts, so you know that your kids got home safely. comcast.com/XFINITYHome 1-800-XFINITY Sit COMCAST the future of awesome' ho does the chores in Instead, it is the responsible person your family? Many fac- who often ends up taking on a heavier tors determine how chores load. Over time, tolerance diminishes are divvied up. An individual's special as frustration increases. Quarrels with ability or preferences may play a role. the shirker and/or parents can lead to Some families use a wheel to resentment and refusal to do distribute the work load equi- the extra work. The poor per- tably. Others assign one job to former can become isolated the same person in order to from others who retaliate by increase competence and reli- refusing to help with home- ability. Parents impose sched- work, give rides or share per- ules and rules to improve the sonal items. likelihood that everyone will Even when chores get done do his or her part and all tasks they can create problems in will get done in a timely man- a family. Parents who give ner. special commendation can Dan iel Ideally, all members make create competition for atten- Rosen baum, the family's needs a priority. tion; others may gripe when PhD, L MSW Conflicts arise when one per- not adequately recognized. If little or no credit is given, son impedes those priorities. Moreover, when parents allow their chil- some will decide that there is no benefit dren to abandon their household duties, in doing the job at all. they substantiate the child's self- impor- The overarching goal is to recognize tance, which over time can poison family all who contribute to a task, emphasizing harmony. how important is it for family members to Whenever a person shirks his or work together as a unit. her duty, tensions increase and ami- Acknowledging the effort, rather than cable family management is disrupted. the person, lets younger siblings feel that Someone else must step in to do the job. they contribute also, even if just a little. When others have to pick up the slack, Older children gain a sense of accom- arguments occur. Children will even plishment. This can produce greater demand that parents punish the non- rewards when they exceed expectations. performer. To instill a sense of affinity, parents Resistance to doing work has many can encourage family members to work reasons: Some may do a job so poorly together, even in teams. Sharing tasks that no one will ask again, therefore gets them done more efficiently and avoiding the expectations that come with reduces task-dodging. When working responsibilities. The offender will be chal- together in a coordinated way, older lenged about a sloppy or incomplete job. ones can teach skills and pass on experi- A common retort is that the chore was ence to younger ones. In addition, work- done without accepting culpability for ing together provides time to interact, poor quality. Someone else gives in and something that often is missing in our redoes the job, reinforcing how deficient hectic world. effort can eventually pay off. Lastly, it is imperative to say "thank Another different strategy to avoid you" for any energy expended, even for work is to delay the task until it is no everyday tasks such as clearing the table longer feasible. For example, someone or taking out garbage. Some people feel will decide to empty the dishwasher it's unnecessary; family members should just as dinner is being prepared or start contribute willingly to the overall good. vacuuming late at night when others Acknowledging the contribution of oth- are studying, watching TV or sleeping. ers creates an atmosphere of apprecia- While appearing willing to do the job, tion that can permeate all facets of fam- ily life. it is only done on one's own timeframe. Blaming others for demanding timeli- Dr. Daniel Rosenbaum is a clinical social ness and consideration effectively worker at Counseling Associates Inc. in West achieves the goal of never having to do anything. Bloomfield, where he counsels children, teens and adults experiencing family or The person who accommodates the personal psychological problems. family's goals should be rewarded. ❑ Not available in all areas. Remote video and fire monitoring requires purchase of additional equipment. Remote access not available with all smartphones. License #: MI 3601206217. Call for restrictions and complete details, or visit www.comcastcom/ xfinityhome. ©2013 Comcast. All rights reserved. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. 1848570 24 September 12 • 2013 JN Beaumont Offers BRCA, Genetics Confab Sept. 21 enetic testing can help determine a person's risk for developing certain cancers. Identifying cancer genes, the presence of BRCA 1 and 2 muta- tions, is the first step. This test- ing allows the implementation of risk-reducing interventions: more frequent screening, surgi- cal prevention Dr. Dana and chemopre- Zakalik vention. For patients and families at risk for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer due to BRCA mutations, which includes Ashkenazi Jews, the information gained from genetic testing not only provides answers, but also raises questions. On Saturday, Sept. 21, Beaumont Health System is hosting a day-long conference for patients and families seeking information and support. "This is the only symposium of its kind in Michigan that combines education and support for those with BRCA genetic mutations," explains Dana Zakalik, M.D., cor- porate director, Cancer Genetics Program, Beaumont Health System. "We're connecting, reaching out, to the BRCA community statewide" The conference will address many topics: • Cancer genetics overview • Updates in cancer risk manage- ment • Targeted treatment • Breast reconstruction • Sexual wellness Lisa Schlager, vice president of community affairs and public policy, Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, also known as FORCE, will be the keynote speaker. The symposium will take place from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak in classrooms Al and A2 on the main level of the Administration Building, 3711 W. 13 Mile Road. Beaumont Health System's Cancer Genetics Program provides patients with the most up-to-date informa- tion about hereditary cancer risks and guidelines for cancer screen- ings and treatments. The multidis- ciplinary team includes certified genetic counselors, oncologists and research coordinators. While there are no fees to attend the symposium, registration is required. To register, call (800) 633- 7377 or go online to www.classes. beaumont.edu and search for BRCA. Lunch will be provided. ❑