arts & entertainment

ROADWAY

"I learned that I had made all
help of friends in order to protect his
those blunders that I heard other
daughter. We need to talk about that
in Jewish life:'
people make, and I wished I could
have gone back and established that
Pogrebin interviewed people from
baseline policy of absolute honesty.
various backgrounds and times in
For instance, I wished I could have
life to get a broad section of opinion
been able to tell friends not to come
and practice, and she came up with
when I didn't want visitors:'
lists, such as "Ten Commandments
for Talking with a
Pogrebin's chapters
address specific ill-
Sick Friend:'
HOW TO BE
nesses and everyday
The author, who
A FRIEND
situations, from
recently heard a lot
speaking platitudes to
about the University
TO
giving gifts. She tells
of Michigan from
son-in-law David
the stories of people
A FRIEND
Shapiro traveling
who understood they
were being inter-
WHO'S SICK
to a sports event
at his alma mater,
viewed in a way that
already is working
would respect their
anonymity.
on a new book, this
time returning to
"I met a Chasid in
fiction. Among her
the waiting room,
LETTY COTTIN POGREBIN
and interviewing him
nonfiction works
gave me a look into a
are Growing Up Free
complicated, closed community that
and Getting Over Getting Older.
I would never be able to get into as a
"People can read sections of the
reporter," she recalls. "Since both of
new book and find guidance that
us were in treatment, he eventually
really will change the way they act
opened up to me and talked about
with their friends," Pogrebin says. "It
gives them a blueprint from which
the shanda (disgrace) factor.
"He hadn't told anyone in his com- to operate.
munity [he was sick] because he was
"I learned that the miracle of the
afraid that if it got out, he would not
ordinary is what most people want.
be able to make a shidduch (match)
They don't want to be a cancer girl
for his daughter.
or a heart attack guy. They want oth-
"That's both sad and revelatory
ers to remember who they are and
because he cheated himself out of
not treat them as if they are their
the support, succor, comfort and
illnesses?' ❑

began my own personal quest to
understand how to do this better."
Brown determined that bet-
ter involved, in part, coming to
terms with the business of death,
pondering the afterlife, defining
the emotional stages experienced
by survivors, learning from grief
and using the deaths of others to
change actions in one's own life.
She came to question the five
stages of grief as defined by
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross as "denial,
anger, bargaining, depression and
acceptance."
Instead, while agreeing with
"denial," Brown decided to place
"anger, bargaining and depres-
sion" into the same category with
"denial."
"Acceptance" turns into "res-
ignation," moving a survivor into
understanding the need for prepa-
ration, and this is termed "inspira-
tion."
"I learned that the natural incli-
nation for denial is so great that
it really has stopped people from
having conversations of meaning

IN

DETROIT presents a new production of

M9 s s

Saigon

Music by CLAUDE-MICHEL SCHONBERG

Lyrics by RICHARD MALTBY Jr. and ALAIN BOUBLIL

Adapted from the original French lyrics by ALAIN BOUBLIL

Additional Material by RICHARD MALTBY Jr.

Orchestrations by WILLIAM D. BROHN

Originally produced on the stage by CAMERON MACKINTOSH

Fisher Theatre • Sept. 24-Oct. 6, 2013

IMPORTED FROM DETROIT -

Tickets: Fisher Box Office, ticketmaster.com & 800-982-2787.

Info: BroadwaylnDetroit.com & 313-872-1000.

ChryslerCurrentOffers.com

Groups (12.): Groups@BroadwayInDetroit.com or 313 - 871 - 1132.

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Farmington Hills • Corner of Grand River
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Auburn Hills • 1 miles south of the Palace of Auburn Hills

it 0 w

around ultimate
subjects," Brown says.
"I learned that it's rarer than
I thought for families to be open
and transparent about the dying
process and be able to have con-
versations of clarity.
"If I am able to provide language
for someone to begin a difficult
conversation - within a family or
among friends - around this topic,
I think that will have been a con-
tribution."

Not good with any other coupon.
Not good on holidays. One coupon per couple. Up to $30
Expires 7/15/13

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f*Beef Ribs are Back

Baby Back Ribs
$18.99 per slab

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Excludes tax, tip and beverages. With this ad. Dine in or Carry out. Expires 7/15/13

dy - A
- , Brass Pointe Qc- , ' '''&1"16.

24234 Orchard Lake Rd., N.E. corner of 10 Mile • 476-1377
Open 7 Days a week for lunch & dinner

June 20 • 2013

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