100%

Scanned image of the page. Keyboard directions: use + to zoom in, - to zoom out, arrow keys to pan inside the viewer.

Page Options

Share

Something wrong?

Something wrong with this page? Report problem.

Rights / Permissions

The University of Michigan Library provides access to these materials for educational and research purposes. These materials may be under copyright. If you decide to use any of these materials, you are responsible for making your own legal assessment and securing any necessary permission. If you have questions about the collection, please contact the Bentley Historical Library at bentley.ref@umich.edu

May 30, 2013 - Image 32

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2013-05-30

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

COMMUNITY

eed some advice? Send your request to
DearDebra@renmedia.us , and be sure to look for
Debra's reply in the next Red Thread.

Dear Debra: I never
imagined send-
ing our children
to day school. But
Debra Darvick
as 1 have studied
more and brought
more Jewish traditions into our home,
day school seems like a natural step.
My wife is strongly opposed to the
idea, and it's causing a lot of tension
between us. Our first child begins
kindergarten next year. How can we
resolve this? Day School Dad

Fine Renovations & Expansions Since 1978

Professional renovations
for kitchens, baths,
lower levels and more.
Gittleman makes it SIMPLE,
AFFORDABLE, EFFORTLESS.

Follow Gittlemon Construction
and Handymancare

Call 248.538.5400 For A Consultation Today. I gittleman.net

28580 Orchard Lake Rd., Suite 102 Farmington Hills, MI 48334

HAN DYMANCARE

111 U • BY GITTLEMAN CONSTRUCTION •

Get swim-ready with Jump Start Clinics!

Over the Summer we're offering five consecutive days of swim lessons
to help your child get ready for the beach, vacation, pool parties and
endless swimming fun. You'll see significant swimming improvement
in just five short days!

vow-t- FoTacluTi
Weekly Swim lessons!

4 months - 12 years of age
4:1 student to teacher ratio
30-minute weekly lessons

Location times & details can be
ur w

Now franchising a GOLDEN
oldfishfranchise.com

hool.com

f

LIKE US on

Log on to JNonline.us

giveaways • forums • calendars

VISIT JNonline.us

32 June 2013 I

RD TIMM

Dear Dad,
So often it's one parent for, one par-
ent against. You will stand a better
chance if you can bring your wife
around gently, respectfully and lov-
ingly.
You don't mention her reactions to
the Jewish study and traditions you
have brought home. Has she been
a willing and equal partner? Or has
it all been imposed upon her? If the
latter, day school may be her way of
telling you no more accommoda-
tions to this new Jew-y you.
Listen closely to her objections.
Are they financial? Does she fear the
children knowing more than she
does? Will the carpooling fall entirely
to her? Perhaps you and she can talk
to a day school family who struggled
with the issue you two are now. How
can you meet her halfway or more
than halfway if necessary?
Day school can provide unparal-
leled depth of Jewish learning and
experience. But there are other ways
to steep children in Jewish values,
learning and rhythms. If your wife
will not relent, continue enriching
your family's Jewish home traditions.
When the children are old enough,
there are many fine Jewish summer
camps, locally and nationwide.
Loving agreement is paramount,
for it teaches another important
Jewish value — shalom bayit (peace
within the home).

Dear Debra: Wanting to be inclusive,
I emailed my future mother-in-law
a photo I took of myself in the bridal
salon modeling my wedding dress. She
went and posted it on her Facebook
page. Now everyone knows what my
dress looks like, even my fiance. I am
furious at the liberty she took. My
fiance doesn't think it's a big deal, he
says I look beautiful; but I think it was
a huge invasion of privacy. What can I
do? Wedding Belle Blues

Dear Blues,
All manner of retribution and veiled
threats come to mind, including
telling her you've chosen chartreuse
as your color. Even in an age where
Facebook has made privacy as
quaint as rotary dial phones, your
future mother-in-law indeed crossed
the sharing line.
The next time you are together,
take her aside and let her know that
while you appreciate her excite-
ment, she stole your thunder. Be
forewarned, however, a woman this
lacking in wedding etiquette may
not understand the transgression.
If you truly don't want anyone
to know about your dress, and you
haven't paid for the one mom-in-
law posted, you could always keep
looking. But if it's the dress of your
dreams and you've already put it
on the plastic, remember that a
snapshot in the dressing room will in
no way compare to the glow you will
radiate on your wedding day. And,
take note, when you and hubby are
expecting, curb your enthusiasm.

Dear Debra: Our daughter is graduat-
ing from high school this spring. We
want to throw a graduation party in
her honor, but she says she doesn't
want one. We have always celebrated
milestones in the extended family and
can't understand why she is being so
difficult. Burst Balloon

Dear Burst,
Not everyone parties hearty; this
is not always a bad thing. (Think
Animal House). If yours is a large
and very social family, and your
daughter is more on the shy side,
the idea of a big graduation bash
may be unnerving. Have you asked
her how she would like to celebrate
this milestone? Perhaps she'd prefer
a quiet dinner at a restaurant with a
few close friends. Or maybe a small
family gathering. You are right to
want to honor her achievement.
Just be sure that the honoree, your
daughter, feels celebrated — not
steamrolled. RT

A successful author and blower, Debra

Darvick is Red Thread's new advice col-
umnist. The author ofThis Jewish Life:
Stories of Discovery, Connection and Joy
and I love Jewish faces, Darvick shares
her unique take on life, books and more
at debradarvick.com.

www.redthreadmagazine.com

Back to Top

© 2024 Regents of the University of Michigan