WRCJ 90.9 FM PRESENTS
Chocolate Easter Bunny
hope that all our gentile friends and
neighbors had a joyous Easter. So
when you're done with your copy of
this week's JN, pass it along to someone
of the Christian faith so that they know
I was thinking of them during this
most holy time. However,
before you do, please cut
out and send me all of your
Village Palace and Uptown
Having multiple coupons
will afford me the opportu-
nity to stash extra coupons
in places like my car, my
wallet and my wife's purse;
thus increasing my chances
of actually using one because
I never fail to leave the one I do have at
On the subject of Easter, I have a few
questions I'd like to address here. For
instance, regarding the Last Supper.
It was a party of 13, right? I was won-
dering if Jesus had to wait until all 12
apostles arrived before the host/hostess
was allowed to seat him? And, if not, did
Jesus use the time-honored excuse that
his party was "technically" already there
since the few missing apostles were in the
parking lot? ("Honest, they're out there;
they're just looking for parking spaces:')
For all I know, perhaps Jesus did a "call
ahead"; which would clear up
the issue altogether.
(One quick favor, please cut
out this paragraph and the rest
of my column, along with the
coupons for me, before you give
it to a gentile acquain-
tance so that my inquis-
itiveness is not mistaken
for sacrilege — thanks!)
We all know, of course,
that Jesus was a Jew, which is
confirmed by the simple fact
that he went into his father's
business. However, skeptics
might argue that he couldn't
have been a real Jew because
he was a carpenter. A con-
tractor, yes, but being THE
guy who does the actual sawing and
hammering? Don't think so. I'm not
sure there are even that many members
of the tribe today who can put some-
thing together they bought at Ikea.
Also, if Jesus was in fact a card-carrying
carpenter, I'd like to know if he was bond-
ed and insured, did he show up on time,
did he require a deposit, and did he clean
up properly after the job? My best guess is
that Jesus was one heck of a trustworthy
carpenter, especially if you consider the
line of work he ultimately went into.
Finally, they say that imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery. Well, to that
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE WILLIAM DAVIDSON FOUNDATION
end, next Passover I would like
to pay homage to our dear friends
who celebrate Easter by launching a
new product that will be a twist on a
beloved Easter treat. Introducing ... the
Chocolate Moses! Mmmmmmm. Yes,
if it's good enough for the bunny, it
should be good enough for the rebbe.
But not just straight chocolate. No. It
has to be chocolate halavah. Because in
my opinion, halavah is the closest thing
I've ever eaten that tastes like sand.
And after 40 years of Moses wandering
around in the stuff, it's the perfect way
to honor the Israelites' fearless leader.
Well, that's all for now. Time to get
back to work on my upcoming column
that will pay tribute to arguably the
next holiest day on the calendar ...
Opening Day! ❑
Andrew Grams, conductor
Karen Gomyo, violin
THU., APR. 4 AT 7:30 P.M.
27375 BELL ROAD
SUN., APR. 7 AT 3 P.M.
sponsored by Scott Shuptrine Interiors
at Seligman Performing
22305 W.13 MILE ROAD ON THE
DETROIT COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL CAMPUS
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting
talent, speaker and emcee. Visit his
website at laughwithbigal.com and "like" Al
Christopher Warren-Green, conductor
Kenneth Thompkins, trombone
WEST BLOOMFIELD TWP.
April 4-10, 2013 24-30 Nisan 5773 Vol. CXLIII, No. 9
THU., APR.11 AT 7:30 P.M.
Berman Center for
the Performing Arts
Out & About
Points Of View
Staff Box/Phone List ...6
Times are according to the Yeshiva Beth
Friday, April 5, 7:45 p.m.
Saturday, April 6, 8:48 p.m.
Kir n the Hills
Friday, April 12, 7:53 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, April 13, 8:57 p.m.
1340 W. LONG LAKE ROAD
LEONARD SLATRIN Music Dirertor
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April 4 • 2013