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April 04, 2013 - Image 3

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2013-04-04

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

metro

DETROIT
SYMPHONY
ORCHESTRA

WRCJ 90.9 FM PRESENTS

Chocolate Easter Bunny
Chocolate Moses!

I

hope that all our gentile friends and
neighbors had a joyous Easter. So
when you're done with your copy of
this week's JN, pass it along to someone
of the Christian faith so that they know
I was thinking of them during this
most holy time. However,
before you do, please cut
out and send me all of your
Village Palace and Uptown
Parthenon restaurant
coupons.
Having multiple coupons
will afford me the opportu-
nity to stash extra coupons
in places like my car, my
wallet and my wife's purse;
thus increasing my chances
of actually using one because
I never fail to leave the one I do have at
home.
On the subject of Easter, I have a few
questions I'd like to address here. For
instance, regarding the Last Supper.
It was a party of 13, right? I was won-
dering if Jesus had to wait until all 12
apostles arrived before the host/hostess
was allowed to seat him? And, if not, did
Jesus use the time-honored excuse that
his party was "technically" already there
since the few missing apostles were in the
parking lot? ("Honest, they're out there;
they're just looking for parking spaces:')
For all I know, perhaps Jesus did a "call

ahead"; which would clear up
the issue altogether.
(One quick favor, please cut
out this paragraph and the rest
of my column, along with the
coupons for me, before you give
it to a gentile acquain-
tance so that my inquis-
itiveness is not mistaken
for sacrilege — thanks!)
We all know, of course,
that Jesus was a Jew, which is
confirmed by the simple fact
that he went into his father's
business. However, skeptics
might argue that he couldn't
have been a real Jew because
he was a carpenter. A con-
tractor, yes, but being THE
guy who does the actual sawing and
hammering? Don't think so. I'm not
sure there are even that many members
of the tribe today who can put some-
thing together they bought at Ikea.
Also, if Jesus was in fact a card-carrying
carpenter, I'd like to know if he was bond-
ed and insured, did he show up on time,
did he require a deposit, and did he clean
up properly after the job? My best guess is
that Jesus was one heck of a trustworthy
carpenter, especially if you consider the
line of work he ultimately went into.
Finally, they say that imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery. Well, to that

JN CONTENTS

ConCete 6etie5

MADE POSSIBLE BY THE WILLIAM DAVIDSON FOUNDATION

MOZART'S
"JUPITER"

end, next Passover I would like
to pay homage to our dear friends
who celebrate Easter by launching a
new product that will be a twist on a
beloved Easter treat. Introducing ... the
Chocolate Moses! Mmmmmmm. Yes,
if it's good enough for the bunny, it
should be good enough for the rebbe.
But not just straight chocolate. No. It
has to be chocolate halavah. Because in
my opinion, halavah is the closest thing
I've ever eaten that tastes like sand.
And after 40 years of Moses wandering
around in the stuff, it's the perfect way
to honor the Israelites' fearless leader.
Well, that's all for now. Time to get
back to work on my upcoming column
that will pay tribute to arguably the
next holiest day on the calendar ...
Opening Day! ❑

Andrew Grams, conductor
Karen Gomyo, violin

SOUTHFIELD

THU., APR. 4 AT 7:30 P.M.

at Congregation
Shaarey Zedek

27375 BELL ROAD

BEVERLY HILLS

SUN., APR. 7 AT 3 P.M.

sponsored by Scott Shuptrine Interiors

at Seligman Performing
Arts Center

22305 W.13 MILE ROAD ON THE
DETROIT COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL CAMPUS

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting

talent, speaker and emcee. Visit his

HANDEL'S

website at laughwithbigal.com and "like" Al

on Facebook.

WATER MUSIC

Christopher Warren-Green, conductor
Kenneth Thompkins, trombone

theJEWISHNEWS

WEST BLOOMFIELD TWP.

April 4-10, 2013 24-30 Nisan 5773 Vol. CXLIII, No. 9

THU., APR.11 AT 7:30 P.M.

Berman Center for
the Performing Arts

Arts/Entertainment ...39
Calendar
14
Food
46
28
Health
.
16,
34,
42-43,
62
Israel
Letters
5
Life Cycles
50
Marketplace
52
Metro
8
Obituaries
58
41
Out & About

Points Of View
34
Sports
38
Spotlight
30
Staff Box/Phone List ...6
Synagogue List
36
Teen2Teen
49
That's Life
12
Torah Portion
37

Shabbat Lights

Columnist

Times are according to the Yeshiva Beth
Yehudah calendar.

Danny Raskin

48

Shabbat:

Friday, April 5, 7:45 p.m.
Saturday, April 6, 8:48 p.m.

SAT., APR

P.M.

Kir n the Hills
Presbyterian Church

Friday, April 12, 7:53 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, April 13, 8:57 p.m.

Shabbat:

1340 W. LONG LAKE ROAD

DETROIT

)

SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA

LEONARD SLATRIN Music Dirertor

A COMMUNITY-SUPPORTED ORCHESTRA

Page design, Deborah Schultz

Our JN Mission

BLOOMFIELD HILLS

Shabbat Ends:

On The Cover:

The Jewish News aspires to communicate news and opinion that's useful, engaging, enjoyable and unique. It strives to
reflect the full range of diverse viewpoints while also advocating positions that strengthen Jewish unity and continu-
ity. We desire to create and maintain a challenging, caring, enjoyable work environment that encourages creativity
and innovation. We acknowledge our role as a responsible, responsive member of the community. Being competi-
tive, we must always strive to be the most respected, outstanding Jewish community publication in the nation. Our
rewards are informed, educated readers, very satisfied advertisers, contented employees and profitable growth.

ON THE EUGENE & MARCIA APPLEBAUM
JEWISH COMMUNITY CAMPUS
6600 W. MAPLE

The Detroit Jewish News (USPS 275-520) is
published every Thursday at 29200 Northwestern
Highway, #110, Southfield, Michigan. Periodical
postage paid at Southfield, Michigan, and
additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send changes
to: Detroit Jewish News, 29200 Northwestern
Highway, #110, Southfield, MI 48034.

TICKETS JUST $25

($10 for children under i8 and students)

CALL 313.576.5111
OR VISIT DSO.ORG

Generously sponsored by The William
Davidson Foundation with additional support
from the National Endowment for the Arts.

JN

• VT

ART WOWS

April 4 • 2013

3

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