wtori an Tea Pa rl o.t. Tea ee'Gifts celebrate Antiques a guide to simchahs We specialize in Tea Parties Good Advice Some words of wisdom on your upcoming bar/bat mitzvah. Call and maize a reservation for your Rabbi Bradley Solmsen/JNS.org Birthday, Wedding shower, boolz club and Red Hatter...Tea Parties today! Evening teas by reservation. We do Estate Sales and Ebay. Open Daily for Lunch 41:7 2737 Twelve Mile Rd., Berkley, (2 4 8) 5 4 2-5 2 5 3 1 521 2 Charlevoix, Grosse Pointe Park, (31 3) 821 8060 - Wedding and Event Planner Perfection made simple 6405 Tamerlane Drive West Bloomfield, Michigan 48322 Office: 248.626.3421 • Cell: 248.535.0402 andrea@andreasolomon.com • andreasolomon.com 1822810 Proudly announces we are approved kosher!! Ca es or your every occasion Cookies • Ice Cream • Fresh Coffee NOW OPEN Haagen-Dazs Custom orders on Parve Cakes Inside Sweet reams Bakery Now Open! Nestle Toll House — Orchard Lake Location. 4153 Orchard Lake Rd., Orchard Lake, MI 48323 — 248.737.8900 Bakery Hours:Mon-Wed 9am to 8pm, Thurs 9am to 9pm, Fri & Sat 9am to 10pm, Sun 11am to 8pm Invitations 4Stationery ;',Accessories Party Favors ;',"Gifts ;Qa, Calligraphy up to 30% off e_9 rwiteo Terri Trepeck Phone: 248-258-1657 Email: invitations@invitesink.com Terri@invitesink.com Providing personalized service from start to finish C40 celebrate! I March 2013 azel tov on your upcoming simchah! It's never too early to start thinking about your bar or bat mitzvah, and I advise you to approach this important rite of passage not as a sort of graduation ceremony, but as a meaningful transition toward Jewish adulthood. Becoming a bar or bat mitzvah is an exciting opportunity. I use the word "becoming" here intentionally. In our tradition, bar and bat mitz- vah is not something that just happens to us, but an event that requires the bar or bat mitzvah to take an active role. The more you make the process your own, the more momentous it will be. I have three questions that I hope will help you think about ways to make your bar or bat mitzvah as meaningful to you and your family as possible. M What is important to you? What do you love to do? What's important to you? Are you a musi- cian or artist? Do you have a favorite hobby? I urge you to think about ways to incorporate your passions into your bar or bat mitzvah experi- ence. Talk to your rabbi, cantor or an educator at your synagogue about how to do this. You might be sur- prised at the many ways you could A bar mitzvah boy reads his Torah make your bar or bat mitzvah a portion at the Western Wall. more personalized experience. I have worked with teens who have brought a love of cooking into their learn- ing process. One teen, in addition to studying about different ways of celebrating Passover, studied recipes from all over the world and cooked some of them for her family's Passover seder. What can you contribute to your community? One of the most important aspects of becoming bat or bar mitzvah is taking on greater responsibility in your community. Ask yourself how you can make a difference. The answer to this question might be based on one of the interests you thought about in the previous question, or it could be based on something you might think is missing or should be improved in your community. I know teens who have started nonprofit organizations or lobbied their elected representatives to make real change. Don't let your age stop you. It can be challenging to find the right opportunities when you are young, but there is so much you have to offer and so much your community needs. What might you want to teach? Teaching is another way of adding your voice to the Jewish people in an essential way. When you teach something, it forces you to become a spe- cialist in that area. I worked with one bat mitzvah student whose Torah portion included the passage that discusses the obligation to remember and keep Shabbat. She studied the Torah text and its commentaries and found related contemporary texts and works of poetry, art and music that exemplified what keeping Shabbat meant to her. After her bat mitz- vah, she turned this into a four-session adult study seminar! All of these suggestions will be easier to do in partnership with an adult in your congregation. But, don't wait to be asked — make an appointment with your rabbi, cantor, teachers or other community lead- ers to discuss ways to make your bat or bar mitzvah one of the most meaningful milestones in your life. ❑ Rabbi Bradley Solmsen is the Director of Youth Engagement at the Union for Reform Judaism. 1 r .