Passover

Making A Memorable Seder

Don't stick to the script — innovation is the key to a fun educational holiday.

Dr. Ron Wolfson
Special to the Jewish News

I

don't know what the tradition is in
your family, but in ours, seder night is
a dress-up affair. Imagine our surprise
when one year we arrived for seder at our
friends' door in our dressy clothes and they
greeted us wearing the long, flowing robes
of Bedouins.
"Welcome to our seder!" they exclaimed.
"Please take off your shoes before you
come in:'
We dutifully took off our shoes and
entered their home. On the right, we saw
the formal dining room, the table set with
fine china and crystal, seemingly ready for
the seder guests. David and Shira, how-
ever, led us down the hall and into their
large family room.
Draped from the beams of the vaulted
ceiling were large white bedsheets forming
a tent-like structure encompassing the cen-
ter of the room. All the furniture had been
taken out, except for some beanbag chairs
and overstuffed pillows. In the center, on a
low coffee table, was the seder plate.
"Welcome to our home in the desert,"
David and Shira explained. "The seder
ceremony is a simulation of what really hap-
pened on that first night of the Exodus from
Egypt, so we've decided to conduct our seder
in this tent. Please make yourselves comfort-
able — take off your ties and jackets — and
recline with your kids on the floor:'
In a masterfully led, fun-filled experience,
the families in attendance enjoyed a delight-
ful, relaxed telling of the Passover story. Once
we completed the Maggid (narration) section
of the Haggadah, we moved into the dining
room for the seder meal. After opening the
door for Elijah, we returned to the tent to
complete the seder ceremony.
It was a seder we'll always remember.
And that, in a word, is what the seder
is designed to help us do — remember —
remember the story of the Exodus and, more
importantly, our place in it. After all, the
most important words of the Haggadah are
"B'chol dor va-dor hayav adam lirot et atzmo
k'ilu hu yatzah mi-Mitzrayim" (`A11 people,
in every generation, should see themselves as
having experienced the Exodus from Egypt:')
The seder is much more than a history les-
son; it is our yearly re-enactment of the lib-
eration and continuity of the Jewish people.
Thus, seder night is the family educa-
tion experience par excellence. The seder
is filled with symbolic foods, elaborate
rituals, words and song and, most impor-
tantly, questions designed to keep even the
youngest of children interested.
Although the seder is the single most
observed Jewish celebration of the year in
North American Jewish families, many of
us base our seders on a model we knew as

children — each person takes turns read-
ing a paragraph out of the Haggadah. In
some families, that is considered a "par-
ticipatory" experience. It might be, but it's
hardly engaging.
Here are some tips on how to enliven your
family's seder experience this year.
• Give homework. When the Weber fam-
ily invites the Wolfson family for seder, we
are asked to prepare a presentation on some
aspect of the seder ceremony. The presenta-
tion could be a d'rash, an explanation of what
the Haggadah is trying to say. But, over
the years, our presentations have also been
given as a play, a song and a take-off on a
game show.
• Buy time. The seder ceremony of my
youth never lasted more than 20 minutes.
After a few minutes of everyone-take-turns-
reading-a-paragraph, my Uncle Morton
would ask the infamous Fifth Question:
"When do we eat?" End of ceremony.
One way to buy time to spend on the tell-
ing of the story is to offer your guests some-
thing to nibble on between the vegetables
of Karpas and the meal. Make an edible
centerpiece of fruits and vegetables and
encourage guests to dismantle it.
• Tell the story. The core of the seder
experience is the telling of the story of the
Exodus from Egypt. The traditional text of

the Haggadah contains four different tell-
ings of the story, each one beginning with
a question, a response and praise for God.
Think of ways to tell the story that supple-
ment the Haggadah. Put on a skit. Use
puppets and story books.
• Ask questions. The Haggadah invites
questions. Encourage your guests to liber-
ate themselves from the book and discuss
what it is the Haggadah is trying to tell us.
A favorite point to do this is after the recita-
tion of the Ten Plagues. "What are 10 things
that plague us today?" is a question every-
one can answer. When the Haggadah tells
us we should feel as if we were redeemed
from Egypt, what does that mean? What
are we doing about Jewish continuity in our
family, in our community? The discussion
resulting from these questions can be the
highlight of your seder.
• Have fun. Having family fun is seri-
ous business, especially at the seder table.
The seder was never meant to be dull.
Quite the contrary, it is to be a relaxed,
informal educational experience.
• Use materials. One of the problems
in keeping young children interested in
the seder is that most Haggadot are not
designed for them. When our kids were
in nursery school, my wife, Susie, created
a Pat the Bunny-type Haggadah using the

coloring sheets sent home from class. She
added tactile materials to the sheets where
appropriate: cotton balls on pictures of
sheep, sandpaper on pictures of the bricks
of the pyramids, grape scratch-and-sniff
stickers on pictures of the Kiddush cups.
She put these in a loose-leave notebook
and made copies for the kids at the seder.
They were immediately engrossed in the
book, following along and participating at
their own level. Susie also gave each child
a "goodie bag" filled with Passover sym-
bols, frog stickers, a bookmark, even moist
towelettes for the inevitable spills of wine!
• Innovate. Each year, experienced seder
leaders look for new ideas to incorporate into
the ceremony. Here are a few of my favorites.
Instead of filling Elijalis Cup with wine at the
beginning of the seder, wait until just before
opening the door and pass Elijah's cup to
each participant who pours some of her/
his wine into it. This is a demonstration of
the need to act to bring the Messianic era.
The Sephardim [Jews of Spanish and
Mediterranean descent] pick up the seder
plate and place it over every person's head
during the recitation of Ha Lahma Anya,
the invitation to participate in the seder.
Another Sephardic custom is to beat
the leader with green onions during the
singing of "Dayenu" as a reminder of the
plagues.
Sing "Had Gadya" [the song "One Kid"]
with sound effects: choose a person to
create the sound of a goat, a cat, a dog, a
stick, fire, etc., which they make after the
words are sung.
• Choose a good Haggadah. There are
3,000 editions of the Haggadah catalogued
in the library of the Jewish Theological
Seminary in New York, and every year
more versions appear. Jews have always
felt comfortable in putting together
Haggadot that reflect their particular slant
— so there are vegetarian and feminist
Haggadot, for example.
Choose a Haggadah that fits your fam-
ily's needs, and pick one that will last a
number of years in style, substance and
construction.
• Prepare. Of course, the ultimate
Haggadah may be one you yourself put
together. With inexpensive printing widely
available, it is not difficult to edit your own
Haggadah text. You can easily combine
traditional texts with modern interpreta-
tions and readings, songs and information.
This will take some time, but the reward
will be a seder experience that is meaningful
and memorable.

❑

Dr. Ron Wolfson is the Fingerhut Professor of

Education at American Jewish University and

the president of Synagogue 3000. This story

is reprinted from CJ: Voices of Conservative/

Masorti Judaism magazine, spring 2008.

March 14 • 2013

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