Guest Column

Merciful Alliance

Jewish women linked by sacred task of hospice work.

t is difficult to express the emotions you feel
when with someone when they die. Even when the
death is peaceful, dignified and the patient is 100
years old, an event of great magnitude as the passing
of a soul from one world to the next is simply beyond
description.
There is a certain weight that
comes with accompanying the
dying on their journey, a heavi-
ness that seems to linger long
after the final breaths.
It doesn't matter how many
mothers, fathers, friends and
children I have been with as
they pass through my work at
Jewish Hospice & Chaplaincy
Network (JHCN); I still leave
patient bedsides breathless. I
always want to call someone,
talk through the experience
and get help - finding my body,
mind and soul's way back to its normal rhythms. But
often, I find myself staring at my phone with no one
to dial.
I need to speak with someone who "gets it" in per
son. I need the face-to-face contact with someone
who has had this same experience. As a woman, I
want to talk to a woman. I just feel the understand-
ing would run even deeper between women.

We asked God for the strength
to go out into the world every
day and help dying patients and
their families find the dignity
and peace that hospice provides.

A Team Effort

This need was the thinking behind the Jewish
Women's Hospice Alliance, created by JHCN with
the generosity of a grant from the Jewish Women's
Foundation. This Alliance makes that space available,
to give everyone in the field the "time out" they so
desperately need.
Every Monday, the staff at JHCN reviews our new
patients and those we lost over the week. At each
meeting, we notice we care for more women than
men. Also, most of the caregivers, who spend the
most time with our patients, are women. We at JHCN
have found that much of the "hands-on" work is
done by a devoted, talented and seemingly tireless
group of women.
We also realized that many in this group of special
women were Jewish. It got us wondering: Do these
women know each other? Do they have an opportu-
nity to "talk shop," problem-solve and simply enjoy
being surrounded by women who spend their
days doing similar sacred work?
When we started asking around, we real-
ized that, sadly, the answer was no. There is
no local professional organization for Jewish
female hospice workers, so we at JHCN,
again, with the generous help from the Jewish
Women's Foundation, decided to create one.

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When the Jewish Women's Hospice Alliance
met in 2011 for the first time, 39 professional
women representing every aspect of hospice
care came together for lunch, learning and
community building. These women represent-
ed all the major hospital systems and hospices
in southeast Michigan.
To see these women coming together was
heartwarming. Not only did we hear a lot of
"so glad to finally meet you's," but also com-
ments such as "I have been meaning to get in
touch with you" and "It's about time we finally
got together."
At this inaugural meeting, we shared in
prayers for the continuation of the sacred
work we do; and we asked God for the
strength to go out into the world every day
and help dying patients and their families find
the dignity and peace that hospice provides.
We learned about the challenge and neces-
sity of self-care from psychotherapist Dr.
Elana Goell Varkovitzky, who impressed upon
the group that caregiver fatigue and burn-out

Jewish Hospice & Chaplaincy Network
representatives Bashy Zeiler of Southfield, Barbara
Haddad of West Bloomfield and Cheryl Weiss of
Farmington Hills with Jewish Family Service local
representative Lindsay Leder of West Bloomfield

is real - and that we cannot care for others if we do
not care for ourselves.
From the laughter in the room, the chatter and
even the few tears that were shed, hardly a word
needed to be said about the camaraderie that was
immediately established in that space - and the
trust, the reliance and the alliances that will reach
far beyond that one afternoon and the walls of that
room.

Doing More

The Jewish Women's Hospice Alliance strives to
meet quarterly. In the future, we hope that with the
help of the Jewish Women's Foundation, JHCN will
award scholarships to some of the participants to
further their education as well as present a Jewish
Women's Hospice Worker of the Year award. We have
aspirations of creating scholarships for those inter-
ested in hospice work, thus helping pave the way for
the next generation of hospice nurses, social workers
and doctors.
We also hope the women who participate in the
Jewish Women's Hospice Alliance will serve as men-
tors to younger women just entering the field. With
the dual approach of education and mentorship, we
are sure to create a core group of women who will
ensure that the hospice care given to our loved ones
in the Jewish community continues to be of the high-
est quality.
Without the help of the Jewish Women's
Foundation, this learning, gathering and growing
would not have been possible. The Jewish Women's
Foundation funds so many invaluable programs in the
Jewish community for women and girls; we at JHCN
are thrilled to be recipients of its funds.
We intend to improve the lives not only of the
Jewish women working in the hospice field, but also
of all of the women they touch through their work.
We have big plans for this little special group. It is
doing holy work every day; its participants deserve
to be supported and recognized.
Without the help of the Jewish Women's
Foundation, it would simply not be possible. ❑

Jennifer Kaluzny is a rabbi at Temple Israel and a staff member

of the Jewish Hospice & Chaplaincy Network, both located in

West Bloomfield.

JN

January 10 • 2013

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