H
appy Hanukkah, Chanukah, Hanukah, Chanuka,
Although we still get jumpy every time they light that cheese.
etc. Trying to figure out the "correct" way to spell
I close on a lighter, less-sacrilegious note, to share with you
Chanukah is about as easy as giving out-of-town-
one of the great, traditional stories from the Festival of Lights:
ers directions for driving on Big Beaver/16 Mile/Metro
"'Twas the First Night of Chanukah"
Parkway. As we all know, the Festival of Lights was born
out of the desecration of our Temple in Jerusalem, which
'Twas the first night of Chanukah
dates back to around 168 B.C. (Before Chanukah).
When all through the house,
Can you imagine if a festival like Chanukah was created
Every mooching relative was over
every time one of our enemies tried to destroy us? What a
Not one lifting a finger to help my spouse.
boon that would be for retailers. But, thankfully,
times have changed and everybody loves us.
The buffet never looked better
(Pause for eye rolling.)
Fat-filled latkes prepared with care,
Yes, the Miracle of Chanukah — when a single
Everyone enjoyed them
day's worth of oil lasted for eight nights. Who
Until my chest pains gave them a scare.
would've guessed that only a year later our ances-
The kids all gathered,
tors would be able to take a short five-mile camel
ride to the first Costco to buy a pallet of oil.
For the Chanukah gifts they couldn't wait,
More little-known facts about Chanukah:
But I knew what they really wanted
• 167 B.C.: The Maccabees founded Maccabees
Was a piece of my estate.
Mutual and immediately took an insurance policy
Alan
out on the Second Temple. On a side note, Noah,
Now Abe, now Sid, now Shelly and Max,
M uskovitz
On Izzy, on Myron, who the heck stole my Ex-lax?
it is said, never forgave himself for not taking
Jewish News
out flood insurance. But even God admitted the
Columnist
deductibles were ridiculous.
Then all of a sudden down the chimney
• 162 B.C.: Thanks to a generous donation, the
St. Nicholas came with a bound,
rebuilt Temple unveiled the Moshe and Esther Sandalstein
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot
Social Hall, where many a bar and bat mitzvah would be
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
celebrated. Every guest was entertained by dancers from Star
(Oy, what a mess!)
Schlep and went home with an embroidered robe and a stone
etching of their family.
St. Nick's eyes, how they twinkled
• 158 B.C.: The 10th anniversary of the desecration of the
His cheeks rosy and, oh, what a smile,
Temple, a controversial movie opened in theaters, Silence of the
But I wouldn't trade the look he gave us,
Lambshanks, the story of Chanukah Lector, the world's only
When he discovered we were Jews, not Gentiles.
Jewish cannibal who somehow found a way to keep kosher.
Times sure have changed since the crazy 160s B.C., when
Happy Chanukah to all and to all a good night! ... A good
our ancestors were forced to give up being practicing Jews
night? Who sleeps anymore?!
and instead coerced into worshiping Greek gods. But we cer-
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker and
tainly got over that, as is evidenced today by the number of
Jews you can bump into at the Uptown Parthenon restaurant. emcee. Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com.
❑
JN CONTENTS
JEWISHNEWS
Dec. 6-12, 2012 I 22-28 Kislev 5773 I Vol. CXLII, No. 18
Ann Arbor
61
Around Town
22-26
Arts/Entertainment
65
Building Community
51
28
Calendar
Camp Guide
30
Food
76
Here's To
18
Health & Wellness
61
Israel ... 5-6, 16, 17, 21, 36,
40-41, 50, 54
jewish@edu
50
Letters
5
Life Cycles
79
Marketplace
82
Metro
Next Generation
Obituaries
Out & About
Points Of View
Spirituality
Sports
Staff Box/Phone List
Synagogue List
Torah Portion
World
8
38
88
67
40
45
64
6
46
48
36
Columnists
Danny Raskin
Robert Sklar
78
40
Shabbat Lights
Shabbat: Friday, Dec. 7, 4:41 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, Dec. 8, 5:47 p.m.
First Night of Chanukah: Saturday, Dec. 8,
after 5:47 p.m.
Shabbat: Friday, Dec. 14, 4:42 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, Dec.15, 5:48 p.m.
Times are according to the Yeshiva Beth
Yehudah calendar.
On The Cover:
Page design, Michelle Sheridan
Our JN Mission
The Jewish News aspires to communicate news and opinion that's useful, engaging, enjoyable and unique. It strives to
reflect the full range of diverse viewpoints while also advocating positions that strengthen Jewish unity and continu-
ity. We desire to create and maintain a challenging, caring, enjoyable work environment that encourages creativity
and innovation. We acknowledge our role as a responsible, responsive member of the community. Being competi-
tive, we must always strive to be the most respected, outstanding Jewish community publication in the nation. Our
rewards are informed, educated readers, very satisfied advertisers, contented employees and profitable growth.
The Detroit Jewish News (USPS 275-520) is
published every Thursday at 29200 Northwestern
Highway, #110, Southfield, Michigan. Periodical
postage paid at Southfield, Michigan, and
additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send changes
to: Detroit Jewish News, 29200 Northwestern
Highway, #110, Southfield, MI 48034.
Nita Cohen is in commercial lending,
and a few years ago she was
unemployed for a short time when
her bank downsized its staff.
"I was looking for ways to keep
busy while I did my job search," Nita
said, "which I mentioned to a friend
at Federation. She suggested I check
out Hebrew Free Loan as a fit for my
experience and my interests."
While the agency doesn't have
day-to-day volunteers because of
the confidential nature of the work,
agency leaders were identifying
dynamic members of the community
to fill Board vacancies. A short while
later, Nita was invited to join.
"This is my first Board experience,"
said Nita, "and it's been rewarding
to take off my commercial banker hat
and use one-to-one people skills.
Coming here as a borrower can be a
scary thing, but I think people should
know we are in this together. We think
of ourselves as a community, not
adversaries. If someone is willing to
put themselves out there and make
their lives better, at HFL we will put
ourselves out there with them."
Nita encourages everyone to find
out what HFL has to offer. "Don't
assume that your need isn't important
enough for HFL. While some requests
are more urgent than others, we
help people in many different situations.
HFL is here for you."
Click. Call. Give Now
www.hfldetroit.org
248.723.8184
Health. A fresh start.
A good education.
The next great business idea.
Hebrew Free Loan gives interest-
free loans to members of our
community for a variety of
personal and small business
needs. HFL loans are funded
entirely through community
donations which continually
recycle to others, generating
many times the original value
to help maintain the lives of
local Jews.
HEBREW
FREE*LOAN
hfldetroit.org
We Provide Loans. We Promise Dignity.
6735 Telegraph Road, Suite 300 • Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301
Li Hebrew Free
JN
Loan Detroit
@HFLDetroit
December 6 • 2012
3