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Jewish And Gay from page 8

of Michigan, says, "The language of Michigan's
adoption law doesn't specifically address gay people
adopting. There is a provision in the law that says if
a person is married his/her spouse must join in on
the adoption petition. Some judges have interpreted
this requirement as meaning that only a legally
married couple can jointly adopt. Because same-
sex couples cannot marry in Michigan, they cannot
jointly adopt their children:'
The ACLU does not agree with this interpretation
of the law.
"There is no Michigan appellate court decision
that has addressed the issue of gay couples adopt-
ing; Kaplan says. "We believe that these judges are
manufacturing an exclusion that is not specifically
indicated in the statute." He asserts that this has
elevated the issue of marital status over the issue of
what's in the best interests of the child.
Richard Vaughn, founding partner of the
International Fertility Law Group in Los Angeles,
says that surrogacy isn't a viable option for gay
couples either.
"There are two types of surrogacy: 'traditional
surrogacy, where one woman provides the egg
and carries the child, and 'gestational surrogacy,
where one woman provides the egg and, after it is
fertilized, another woman carries the child. Both
types are illegal for all people in Michigan, gay or
straight."
Vaughn was legally married to his life partner in
2008 during a six-month window when same-sex
marriage was legal in California. He and his law
partner are both fathers through surrogacy.

Miracle Of Nadav

Julia Pais and Beth Greenapple know all too well
just how significantly these laws can affect a family.
The couple, who live in Southfield with their son,
Nadav Pais-Greenapple, went through an exorbitant
amount of grief and frustration to have their child
together.
Pais, an accounting professional, and Greenapple,
a writing services professional at Beth Greenapple,
Wordsmith, were introduced by a friend in 1994. At
that time, Greenapple lived in New York and Pais
lived in Michigan. They had a romantic, long-dis-
tance relationship and, after much phone time, they
agreed to meet in March of 1995.
The two fell in love and Greenapple eventually
moved to Michigan to be with Pais.
They wanted to have a
Jewish wedding and wanted
their community to be able
to celebrate with them, so
they chose to hold off get-
ting married. They were
hopeful that the Jewish
Conservative stance and
the state laws on same-sex
marriage would change
in their favor. In 2005,
Greenapple and Pais got
married in Windsor.
Same-sex marriage
Nadav Pais-Greenapple
has been legal through-
out Canada since 2005.
Marriages taking place in
Canada, however, are not recognized in Michigan.

Jewish And Gay on page 11

10 November 15 • 2012

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Meaningful Mosaic

Artist helps couple and their parents
fashion a lasting symbol.

W

Karen Schultz Tarnopol I Special to the Jewish News

hen Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg of
Congregation Shir Tikvah in Troy and
his partner, Robert Crowe, originally of
Chester, England, decided to get married, they wanted
to create a piece of art that would be symbolic of their
love and commitment to each other. They enlisted
Huntington Woods artist Michelle Y. Sider to help
make their dream come true.
Sider, who was married by Sleutelberg 21 years
ago, visited the couple's home in Lake Orion for their
initial meeting, where she met Crowe for the first
time. She wanted to create a piece of work that would
encompass the true essence of each of them individu-
ally as well as together as a couple. The pair discussed
in detail the future they envisioned, their traditions,
their memories and more.
"As I listened to their ideas, I quickly realized this
was not going to be any ordinary ketubah project:'
Sider recalled.
Heading home with her mind swirling full of ideas,
Sider spent the following week coming up with 13
designs.
The final design incorporated images symbolizing
significant parts of their lives. Tulips were used to sig-
nify Holland, the country where Sleutelberg's parents
lived. Daffodils and bluebells were a part of Crowe's
mother's garden in Wales.
The couple met in a labyrinth in New Zealand. The
spiral shape in the center of the mosaic, the koru, was

Above: Michelle Sider
designed the mosaic to
include symbols impor-
tant to the couple.

Right: Robert Crowe and
Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg
at the ceremony at their
home in September.

I

described in their wedding program as "an integral
feature of Maori art, symbolizing new life, strength,
growth and peace — a perfect symbol for the union of
two people who met in New Zealand."
"Michelle was incredibly knowledgeable and very
flexible in her ability to see what we were looking for,
and yet she very clearly explained why some of our
ideas might not work:' Crowe said.
Sleutelberg and Crowe wanted to be involved in
the process. They arranged to go to Sider's studio
with Sleutelberg's late mother, Edith Sleutelberg, and
Crowe's father, Philip Crowe, to assist Sider. They each
had an opportunity to contribute in the making of the
mosaic. "It really was an act of love," Sider said.
The center portion of the mosaic was made into
a beautiful print that became their ketubah and
included both English and Hebrew text written by
them personally.
"Writing the ketubah and the ceremony was one
of the best parts of the wedding for us," Crowe said.
"Working together in this process helped us to explore
our values and to clarify what was important to us:'
One line in particular, according to Crowe, holds an
extra special meaning for the couple and was inspired
by a friend — "to resolve our differences through self-
examination, dialogue and compromise:'
The mosaic hangs in their home as a daily remind-
er of their love and commitment to each other.

❑

