frontlines
Campaign Ads:
Enough Already!
W
ell, fasten your seat belts because after next
our electorate —
Tuesday, Election Day, our nation will wake
the "Undecideds"
up to the real change we've all been waiting
Seriously, are you
for. And it couldn't come fast enough. Yes, ifs... the return
REALLY still unde-
of regular television commercials! Welcome back, old
cided? Please, no
friend. Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, next
disrespect intended,
Wednesday we'll be free of political ads at last!
but after two years of TV and
Although you have to admit, if it weren't for
radio ads, enough direct mail pieces
the millions of political commercials, how else
to eliminate an entire rain forest, emails, robo-
could we have learned the absolute, 100 percent,
calls and four debates, YOU STILL DON'T
undisputed, honest truth about our dedicated
KNOW? My guess is you're the same folks who
public servants? If not for those brilliant, sin-
probably have to book a double appointment at
cere, straight-shooting ads, I never would've
your optometrist to pick out which lens is more
known which candidates had pushed family
focused "No. 1 or No. 2?" "Number 2 or Number
members over a cliff, prevented people from
3, Number 3 or Number 276!"
getting lifesaving medical care, confused and
Forgive me if I sound somewhat disenchanted.
scared old people, kicked their dog, let murder-
Sure, it's easy to complain about our electoral
ers walk free or ruled from the bench while
process and the problems we have, but it takes a
Alan
wearing no clothes under their robes.
special person to actually DO something about
Muskovitz
On the other hand, I am grateful for the politi-
it. And that special person just happens to be
Jewish News
cal ads that went out of their way to clarify that
me. I can no longer stand idly by on the sidelines
Columnist
when I vote "No" on something, I will actually
and watch our society crumble. That's why I'm
be voting "Yes!' Or is it "Vote Yes" to "Vote No?"
forming an exploratory committee to see, one,
I don't know. To be honest, I wish there was an option to
where I can best serve my constituents, and two, where I
vote "Maybe:' Which reminds me of a young woman I inter-
can get the best deal on lawn signs.
viewed during an exit poll during the last Detroit mayoral
Once elected I will tackle head-on the most dangerous
election between Ken Cockrel and Dave Bing. She admitted
public safety issue to ever confront our community — that
to me that she pulled the lever for Dave Bing based on, and
goofy new bike lane on Northwestern Highway. What's that
I quote, "eenie, meenie, miney ma" That's right; she recited
all about? May God Bless You and May God Bless America!
"eenie meenie miney mo, catch a Tiger by the toe, if he hol-
I'm Alan Muskovitz, and somehow the Jewish News
lers let him go, I vote for Dave Bing": Genius! Can you imag-
approved this message. E
ine how much time the Supreme Court could've saved back
in 2000?
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker and
Which brings me to the most fascinating group of
emcee. Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com .
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-
CONTENTS
Nov. 1-7, 2012
Ann Arbor
28, 71
20
Arts/Entertainment
65
Calendar
36
Food
74
Jews In The Digital Age.. 24
Here's To
16
Israel
44, 58
5
Life Cycles
78
Marketplace
80
Metro
Next Generation
theJEWISHNEWS
16-22 Cheshvan 5773 I Vol. CXLII, No. 13
Around Town
Letters
-
8
56
Obituaries
Out & About
Points Of View
Politics
Sports
Staff Box/Phone List
Synagogue List
Teen2Teen extra
That's Life
Torah Portion
87
66
58
42
77
6
62
60
26
63
Shabbat Lights
Shabbat: Friday, Nov. 2, 6:06 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, Nov. 3, 7:07 p.m.
Shabbat: Friday, Nov. 9, 4:57 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, Nov.10, 5:59 p.m.
76
On The Cover:
Page design, Michelle Sheridan
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TOO:
Times are according to the Yeshiva Beth
Yehudah calendar.
Columnists
Danny Raskin
EA TS
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